old remidies that made pain worse
2004-12-03 14:57:41 ET

tears with no lesson learned
replace pure tears of remorse
with crimson tears that make it worse
no lesson learned before
and after, only pain is more
stupidity washes through
voices screaming back and forth
anger falls away as crimson tears
Pure tears disappear once more
as crimson tears reappear
when crimson tears are washed away
all thats left is pain and shame
more pain more shame
more pain and shame
more scars to heal
more wounds wripped up
more regret spilled
and still no lesson learned
red drops make tears stop
unhealthy, i know
but it helps
i hate to cry
when it hurts so bad i cant take it,
i replace the tears.
replace the tears of remorse
with red drops much worse.
drops of anger and regret
drops of fear and worried thoughts
drops of death and destruction
and the only intention is to make the tears stop.
to keep from thinking sad thoughts.
emotional pain is misplaced
as physical pain does reign
these poems are dedictated to cutters all over the world. And i want them to know ive been there, cutting is a remidy, this is true, but its also a cause of many other problems. nothing can fix your emotional turmoil except embracing it. embrace your emotions, face them head on, examine them to find out why you feel the way you do. to find out why you cut so you can stop it. so you can live your life. so that you arent so afraid. because the stronger you try to be the weaker you become, and the stronger you make yourself look or seem, the more you will hate yourself. be true to yourself and how you feel. be true to your nature and dont try to justify your behavior. fix it. if you dont like it and its in your control then fix it. dont wait around for a good time to fix it do it now. never wait for anything to happen. take charge of your life and believe in yourself, because you make who you are, you shape yourself. whatever you tell yourself every morning that is what you become. if you look at yourself and go oh my god im hidious then thats what you will portay yourself as, and thats what you will reduce yourself to. you must believ you are beautiful because you really are. you are everything you want to be and more. be all you can be. nothing less will do. just be true to you. make yourself happy. dont worry about them they have nothing to do with you and your life. theyre just a part of it they dont control your life- you do so make it what you want to make it. be aware of the consequences of your action and stay on track.
dont give up and dont let anyone bring you down. and when i say anyone i mean yourself included. live life so you will be remembered for who you are and not just who they want you to be, or who you want to be. be yourself and nothing else. because i love you nomatter what you do. take care of yourself

2004-12-03 14:58:51 ET


2004-12-03 15:01:05 ET

tahnk you i will change it right now an the paper and the screen...wheres the white out for the comp? :::looking, looking::: eh oh well guess ill just edit it instead

2004-12-03 15:02:21 ET

just use white toothpaste as white out.. it doesn't stay long..but ya know.. whatever.

2004-12-03 15:10:00 ET

i'm thinking of taking this journal entry and sending it to my ex cuz she's been cutting herself....

2004-12-03 15:12:08 ET

of course you may if it is to influence another

2004-12-03 15:17:35 ET

thanx she loves poetry too so maybe it might help.. i worry about her...

2004-12-03 15:20:01 ET

That entry really speaks to me.

thank you.


2004-12-03 15:35:37 ET

Megs:your welcome *hugs* it was meant to and i hope you print it out and read it everytime you get down or are just bored and tempted to do something you shouldnt do... :)*hugs* again

2004-12-03 15:36:09 ET

klemmy: i hope it does help. good luck

2004-12-03 18:12:51 ET

:) I will print it out, when I get some ink for my printer!

2004-12-04 01:38:20 ET

Ooh, this entry made me cry, brings back memories..
I'm glad I read this, makes me think of how lucky I really am, to have gotten away from it. I made it.

2004-12-04 15:36:31 ET

yes you did, and so have i... now its time for us to help our dear firend meg join our club of healed cuts.
oh i think i should start a club called "healed cuts club"-open for title suggestions.

2004-12-04 16:53:56 ET

thank you.

2004-12-05 00:37:59 ET

i dunno..unlike Meg, she seems rather determined to make the same mistakes and not rectify what's causing her to cut herself.

2004-12-05 12:40:51 ET

yeah i know.... im working on her

2004-12-05 12:44:13 ET

who are you working on? me? or his ex?


2004-12-05 12:45:20 ET

you at the moment

2004-12-05 12:46:41 ET

i forgot that he was talking about his ex too so sorry. ggrrr im more tired than i thought.. im getting very mixed up today... ggrr at me ::sigh::

2004-12-05 12:46:41 ET

I kind of thought so.............

oh well, it was worth a try :P

2004-12-05 12:47:34 ET

i made an uh oh ... lol

2004-12-05 12:48:21 ET

im still trying to help you too... partly bc i dont know why you cut(ted)

2004-12-05 12:49:29 ET

hahaha, tis fine

2004-12-05 12:52:39 ET


2004-12-05 12:53:08 ET

puts some humour into my life. ;)

2004-12-05 13:00:19 ET

hhmmm.... i wore... no ... hmm... oh i know, it was my aunts 50th birthday and so someone snuck into the front yard flamingos on the lawn, with i big sign that said "we flew in for Debbie's 50th birthday" they did this at night too... very weird. i didnt know about it but everyone else did.

2004-12-05 13:00:40 ET

dang i lost my humor..

2004-12-05 13:02:04 ET

hahahaha, how odd........

I hope no one EVER gives me flamingos!

2004-12-05 13:12:57 ET

lol, well it wasnt what she expected but the woman that sent them to her did the same thing to her husband a while back ... only it was barn yard animals.... even better right?.... oh but they were all plastic of course [the flamingos too] i mean if they werent the people recieving them would only find 3 or 4 of them.

2004-12-05 13:14:20 ET

hahahaha!!!!!!! I love the barnyard animals

2004-12-05 13:17:59 ET

i wish that it was just a bunch of snakes instead, that way i would see my uncle flip out, and get a butcher knife or gun and start trying to kill plastic snakes.... ps i would never let a real snake anywhere near him... i love snakes and i want one or two or three...and a cat or two or three. . . yeah, that would be great but i would have to never let my uncle visit.

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