2002-08-06 14:09:02 ET|
I CUT MY HAIR
this is a big thing for me because i havent ever.. not since 4th grade anyways
i have a new job, this is my 2nd day at it.. i'm a sales representative for Greenpoint Bank in Grand Central Station.. Yup right in the middle of everything... for once i get good coffee in the morning... good coffee! i'm really happy... the environment is better the commissions are twice as sweet, i'm one of three licensed people in a branch of 30, and everyone in that area has mad money so im going to own this fucking place! (i sell investments) .. getting fired was the best thing that could have ever happened to me... buuuuuuuuut
enough about me
everyone look at http://www.subkultures.net/Broken+Machine
BE NICE TO HER SHE IS MY LITTLE SISTER. i have been feeding her my musical tastes and she has been very receptive. if im going to have to choose between britney spears and myself brain washing her goddamn it its going to be me.
she's seriously had so many problems in florida, i wish i could apply for custody of her and save her from it. the thought of being able to do that is the invisible gun to my back when i'm at work... because you can do anything if you have enough money, they gave custody of her to her mom who lives off of alimony/child support.. and doesnt make any money.. if i can mack it out maybe like $40 k or so... they'll take me seriously.. i know this is not the time of my life to play parent, and i shouldnt have to clean up 'other peoples messes' especially the so called adults that surrounded me... but goddamn it she is not a mess shes my little sister... and our dad has more or less given us the silent universal signal for "fuck off"... mom is a child herself so she cant do it... but i feel powerless... my grandparents hate me because i ran away to New York (if you can count being kicked out of your house so your dad can sell it while your mom is in rehab 'running away') and yet i still am moderately successful... they think it sets a bad example for my sister... ive learned to go through life not doing what you're 'supposed to', but doing WHAT WORKS. like college, for instance. i would have loved to continue going... especially since i pretend what my dad thinks isnt important when it is.. but hes the one that promised me rides to a school 50 minutes away .. when i had no car, and never delivered... but let me register anyway... (one thing that rocks about NY is that for $1.50 you can go anywhere you fekkin please)...
I'm too busy making a living to try and go to college now, if i did I want to go to Baruch School of Business in manhattan, they have 2 degrees i'm interested in, both cross-disciplinary... one is called Business Management of Musical Enterprises (then id deal with miserable musicians for a living and not just for fun), or Corporate Communications/Graphic Design. Both count as an MBA in business, and here you cant get a job selling hot dogs until you have that. but both appeal to my creative side, or 'why i really wake up in the morning' ... it just sucks to watch my own dreams slip away and know that unless i stop it the same things will probably happen to her...