**shakes with fever***
2002-09-20 13:25:38 ET

well thats it, now i've gone and done it.. i'm running a fever.. really bad.. ive had it for like 3 days.. and im shaking and cold but i know its not really cold.. i slept for 16 hours yesterday... and im really tired now but i can't sleep... played hooky from work (actually passed out on the train, almost on another passenger) woke up 8th ave 4 stops away from where i needed to be... then discovered that i forgot my bank keys (only the ones to the vault so i could have still gone in without issue) but i was in no shape to keep going, esp. being that you cant eff up when you're working w/other ppl's money... so instead i went to the store and spent my last $8 on batteries for my keyboard/midi controller... then Insomnia took me to the store with her... bought me fever medicine.. took care of me etc.. (though im sure she's sick of it by now)... then dragged me to get *gulp* A MANICURE. now that is the girliest thing i have ever done. so here i am, playing hooky from work, getting a manicure.. life is rough.. well at least now my nails match my cellphone, computer and scanner.. gunmetal silver.. my favorite color..

i once had a friend with a problem with depression.. self inflicted like me... and after a while our paradigm threatened to destroy all others i had around me.. so
Because my sister requested it- a piece i wrote around her age.. 4 years ago

</industrial rain>

reduced to black corduroy, covering bone
soggy and wet, and very alone
temptation most potent (duration unknown)
as long as i stand here, we both stand alone.

afraid of each other/of crossing the borders
these feelings lash out with no logical order
they tear down two worlds with no time to recover
they tear down our lives/they tear down our lovers
they burn with a speed, and a hellish white wrath
that eats away flesh, that cuts a swift path
down the porcelain sculpture that serves as your face
(so these are the dreams of the tears that i taste)

as i follow these traintracks, my world fades to black
i kiss them away but they keep coming back
like a petulant child lashing out, but in vein
and burning your face like industrial rain.

okay the fever has gotten too bad now.. i have to run back home... play w/computer... sleep, something... *smacks arm* stop shaking already!!!! *meh*

</over and out>

"when i was a child, i had a fever, my hands felt just like two big balloons. now i have that fever once again, i cant explain, you would not understand; this is not how i am."

-pinkfloyd, comfortably numb

2002-09-20 13:28:47 ET

it *is* cold in here.

and you should have seen this girl getting the manicure, staring at her hands being worked on like it was such a foreign thing. . .

2002-09-20 13:58:06 ET

i dig the poem. i can't write poetry for shit.
what kind of midi controller and module do you have?

2002-09-20 14:02:04 ET

haha im a banker not a comedian.

no i have a yamaha djx (bought for $400 like 5 yrs ago) probably can be gotten for $50 now.. just a midi controller... but im learning reason & reaktor ... acid i'm already familiar with... and soundforge.. next is cubase...

doktor242 is my mentor. soon to meet an obi-wan esque demise (muahaha)

i'm still to po' to get a synth... although i spend quite some time with my friends synthesizers... ah.. i mean.. my wonderful friends... *ahem*

i'm also not sure where the line between poetry and lyrics is drawn

2002-09-20 14:11:39 ET

i don't know where that line is drawn either. i often confuse the two.

acid and soundforge are good to know. cubase i don't know. i dont know any software sequencers, cuz i hate the general idea. I need HARDWARE, dammit!

good luck on yr jedi/keyboard traning. sooner or later i'm going to get a roland ax-7 controller (it's like a guitar, so i can jam out all butt-rock style! ooh yeah!), a wireless midi rig, and nord lead 3 and a triton. dont know how to play keys but i figure if i blow that much money on it i better learn!

2002-09-20 14:39:44 ET


RED ROBOT suggest only good CHICKENSOUP like TELEVISION show on HU-MAN movie.


2002-09-20 16:27:20 ET


Feel better, my young Padawan.

I'll call you tomorrow, maybe I'll bring ya chicken soup or something. I miss you, dammit!


Hardware sequencer?

Prepare for eyestrain, my friend. I'll never go back to the tiny little screen.

2002-09-20 16:32:26 ET

2002-09-21 01:06:44 ET

hope you feel better soon

2002-09-21 15:43:06 ET

OOooo :( get well soon!

2002-09-21 15:53:10 ET

thankies ... Defektiv: you have the same wish list as me ! the roland AX isnt that expensive being that its just a midi controller.. but i first had the desire for it when i was in a 'guitar industrial' band and my greatest desire was to out-cock the guitarist.. which you can do exceptionally well w/wireless midi...

redrobot- thanks i just had chikkin soup earlier today... and now im gonna have miso soup... if that doesnt work then i think i'll have to go for an electrical re-installment...

2002-09-22 13:41:30 ET

keramik approves new images

2002-09-22 13:50:56 ET

Herr Doktor 242 agrees.

2002-09-22 14:29:39 ET

hehe thankies dbd approves of keramik . and doktor. and RED ROBOT. hehe

2002-09-22 15:04:24 ET

that piece was AMAZING, especially at the age of 15.
::sends my love::

2002-09-24 05:58:02 ET

awwww *blushes*

2002-09-24 05:59:00 ET

now that nic-ey ness is why i skipped work and came to cybercafe today.. sure i THOUGHT i was gonna look at the internet and get a 2nd opinion about what i was sick with... but really it was to go on sk.net.. i was just in denial

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