2003-01-19 13:31:18 ET|
last night was the CY:RX show at the Pyramid.
the boys did wonderfully, as expected.
prior to the show we (myself, Storm, Biomechanic, Doktor242, and Anima Infirmary) had sushi at the sushi place next to generations w/Digit & Downrail... took 2 separate cabs to pyramid.. waited in the freezing ass cold for the promoter to open the door... (deja vu much)
Lais (devilbunny) started out the night, she's a nice girl and an amazing dj; i am now certain that she is trying to kill me with her sets. DasKreestof span as well as dj Sect (from CT) people who showed up later: Furax, Chris (from mindless faith), am i leaving anyone out?
i think that when someone is doing something that they love, that they live for, whatever that may be.. that they become beautiful, they radiate it... After seeing Izzy play last night i understand it all. the sleep deprivation, the antisocial tendencies... its all worth it and i'm sorry if i ever criticized him for the methods he uses to attain his goals (Izzy go to SLEEP, goddamnit!, etc). i could tell he was kind of out of it... and i worry and dont want to encourage him driving himself into the ground... but if you're going to go that far it should be for something youre passionate about and AMAZINGLY FUCKING GOOD at.
it was just really pretty, to see someone that i care about lost in what they love. i cant explain how but it gives me hope.
i want to thank everyone who came out with me last night, and everyone who wanted to but couldnt for some reason or another.
i got four hours of sleep and woke up on time for work at 830 am... thank you, autopilot.. took some stackers to combat the alcohol still left in my system and ate for the first time an hour ago.
I have two main goals right now
1.get into architecture school
2.finish the story i'm writing.
i got a bunch of great ideas for it today.. i wish it would come out piece by piece.. but its growing larger and larger inside my brain; and i am afraid of what i am going to do to my life when it is ready to come out.
iz, i hope to see you play again sometime soon; i'm sorry i acted all shaky after the show, that happens to me when i see something beautiful...
i am surrounded by all this beauty but i never make any.. i know i'm being hyper-critical of myself and i'm going to stop now; i'm just burned out and i'm sure it'll come back to me later... but until then i can console myself with the beauty created by the ones i love.
listening to: how to fake it: power electronics compilation by Biomechanic
Doktor242's song got spun.. and there are so many things that we have in common mentally, i swing between taking them for granted and taking them with a grain of salt.. the mental connection is just too much and too good to be true.. but one of his songs got span last night @ club.. and even though its slower than what i usually dance to, i just felt it.. felt all the transitions, felt everything.. and i think i danced better to his song than anything else that night; it just flowed out of me and is more proof that the connection is very real... or that he's a figment of my imagination, im not sure which