killing me softly
2003-01-19 13:31:18 ET

last night was the CY:RX show at the Pyramid.

the boys did wonderfully, as expected.

prior to the show we (myself, Storm, Biomechanic, Doktor242, and Anima Infirmary) had sushi at the sushi place next to generations w/Digit & Downrail... took 2 separate cabs to pyramid.. waited in the freezing ass cold for the promoter to open the door... (deja vu much)

Lais (devilbunny) started out the night, she's a nice girl and an amazing dj; i am now certain that she is trying to kill me with her sets. DasKreestof span as well as dj Sect (from CT) people who showed up later: Furax, Chris (from mindless faith), am i leaving anyone out?

i think that when someone is doing something that they love, that they live for, whatever that may be.. that they become beautiful, they radiate it... After seeing Izzy play last night i understand it all. the sleep deprivation, the antisocial tendencies... its all worth it and i'm sorry if i ever criticized him for the methods he uses to attain his goals (Izzy go to SLEEP, goddamnit!, etc). i could tell he was kind of out of it... and i worry and dont want to encourage him driving himself into the ground... but if you're going to go that far it should be for something youre passionate about and AMAZINGLY FUCKING GOOD at.

it was just really pretty, to see someone that i care about lost in what they love. i cant explain how but it gives me hope.

i want to thank everyone who came out with me last night, and everyone who wanted to but couldnt for some reason or another.

i got four hours of sleep and woke up on time for work at 830 am... thank you, autopilot.. took some stackers to combat the alcohol still left in my system and ate for the first time an hour ago.

I have two main goals right now

1.get into architecture school
2.finish the story i'm writing.

i got a bunch of great ideas for it today.. i wish it would come out piece by piece.. but its growing larger and larger inside my brain; and i am afraid of what i am going to do to my life when it is ready to come out.

iz, i hope to see you play again sometime soon; i'm sorry i acted all shaky after the show, that happens to me when i see something beautiful...

i am surrounded by all this beauty but i never make any.. i know i'm being hyper-critical of myself and i'm going to stop now; i'm just burned out and i'm sure it'll come back to me later... but until then i can console myself with the beauty created by the ones i love.

listening to: how to fake it: power electronics compilation by Biomechanic

Doktor242's song got spun.. and there are so many things that we have in common mentally, i swing between taking them for granted and taking them with a grain of salt.. the mental connection is just too much and too good to be true.. but one of his songs got span last night @ club.. and even though its slower than what i usually dance to, i just felt it.. felt all the transitions, felt everything.. and i think i danced better to his song than anything else that night; it just flowed out of me and is more proof that the connection is very real... or that he's a figment of my imagination, im not sure which

2003-01-19 14:01:55 ET

unfortunately i only got to see the tail end of CY : RX ...i had thought they were going to start earlier...but what i saw was cool ...izzy rockin' it out! ;-)

was good to see everyone out las night

2003-01-19 14:10:32 ET

aww... get some sleep, ok? I worry about you.

You can't force the beauty out; it comes when it's ready. And I know there is much of it within you, so when it's ready, look out!

2003-01-19 14:25:48 ET

CY:RX was amazing when i saw them. They have been one of my top five favortie bands for the 9 months or so. And it's just incredible to see Izzy on stage, he seems so at home there.

2003-01-19 14:34:57 ET

thats exactly it... thats what i couldnt get over

after i saw him onstage any misunderstandings i had about him dissolved.... i just feel lucky to be in the company of such a talented and remarkable individual

its not that stupid rock-star-gaga bullshit, its seeing someone you care about happy, and at home... ahfeck i cant explain it w/o looking like a sappy idiot

2003-01-19 14:47:16 ET

Yeah, 'twas an awesome night. w0rd to Izzy's set.

I don't regret one part of the evening!

P.S. Good ol' Insta Power Electronics Kit.

2003-01-19 14:48:15 ET

*cough* post amended

2003-01-19 14:50:03 ET

Bio we WILL play DIJ while studying for the SAT's ..
how great is that

2003-01-19 14:50:52 ET

Douglas P. will help us get into college.

2003-01-19 15:09:51 ET

How do you know you're not a figment of my imagination?

If you had imagined me i'd be better looking. ;)

2003-01-19 15:36:02 ET

heh, I want to comment but have nothing to comment on. But you transfer a lot of what you feel in how you write...made me feel like I was there :)

2003-01-19 16:24:35 ET

hehe thx

2003-01-19 20:46:16 ET

Comes from reading Gibson, lol ;]

2003-01-19 21:33:33 ET

"case knew he was playing a game of cat and mouse with himself..."

yeah thats gonna be my default quote

2003-01-20 02:58:39 ET

lol. Gibson rocks.

Sounds liek you had fun, and I'm totally on your wavelength - Seeing someone I care about passionately indulge into something they love inspires, and gives hope - Hope that there is meaning to it all afterall, and that someday I too will experience the total devotion.. That is why it brings hope (I think).

2003-01-20 13:42:21 ET

you got it kid.....youdontmind if i call you kid... ?

2003-01-20 14:44:02 ET

Even though I'm older than you?
No sure, go ahead, ye olde and wise dbd.

2003-01-20 15:18:08 ET

You kids are a nightmare.

2003-01-20 23:31:27 ET

we aim to please.

2003-01-23 15:13:22 ET

with his song......

2003-01-23 16:42:36 ET


2003-01-23 16:51:51 ET

</roberta flack>

I think.

2003-01-23 16:58:08 ET

smart ass. that was so your moms generation

2003-01-23 17:07:27 ET

I'm sending your mom to jail.

2003-01-23 17:32:10 ET

Roberta Flack Jacket. Heh.

2003-01-24 15:28:20 ET

oh TE.. youre so rivet :p

2003-01-25 14:09:15 ET

I be k0re material, I know, I know. ;D

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