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2003-01-29 17:50:39 ET so kids.. i'm incredibly sleep deprived, i'll keep this short... i took some new pic's to cheer someone up and now they've found their way into my bio... last night was fun; i went to open air to see my friend heartworm spin.. doktor242 brought his laptop and MIDI controller... Storm and Furax as well as my friend Chris (exeris) showed up to chill... i basically sat in the corner with a ton of flyers for my idm night too nervous to hand them out.. playing with the computer and procrastinating... heartworm's set was fucking amazing; he wanted to come out and spin for me but he has to go touring in canada... i would have chickened out of flyering altogether if Storm hadn't fed me a drink and went with me; it was kind of like when your dad is helping you ride a bike, pushing you along.. and you dont even notice when he let's go.. soon i was actually conversating with people etc. i have two dj's lined up and an artist, which is good because its going to be weekly now and not bi-weekly. this really cool girl with a game boy and a kaoss pad and other toys was making glitch music... after open air we went to the typical after club diner (odessa) and i took a cab home to get sleep instead of the subway.. extra $$ but i figured it was worth it: instead i ended up dicking around on sk.net until 1 am.. i cant remember the last time i got more than 5 hours of sleep: 4 seems to be average.. i now think that it wasnt really the second job: it was me.. i had to turn down watching a movie w/my friend who's having girl problems to get sleep and now look at me, i'm typing an entry. Digit used to always do sleep deprivation and get away with it; i can't.. i have to take stacker2's to stay awake..and i fucking hate those things.. this compulsive behavior is killing me add to that the fact that i have about 1/4 of the normal amount of blood as usual..its a medical thing.. and i'm pretty hallucinatory right now.. there were so many things i had to get done today; i had a to-do list like 20 or so items long and i have done nothing. i can't focus enough to study the SAT's (i still have my heart set on architecture school)... im having problems eating.. oneof my good friends says that something has to be bothering me because i got impulsive and got trashed this weekend and got a tattoo (i was sober for the tattoo) and that displays behavior of someone who is upset about something.. only i cant figure out what it is.. i just got broken up with and although i dramatized it i didnt think the effects were this far-reaching... maybe it's something else.. i cant figure it out, and honestly right now i'm too tired to bother... plus i have to work on my set list.. ****edited*** things that suck: my computer had to boot up 7 times to make it past log-in (i am infested with viruses; dont bother giving me suggestions, much like my blood problem it is hopeless) AND my cell phone got cut off. ghetto fabulous. </edit> ******* the snow was very beautiful today, but i cant keep thinking about going down to florida for two weeks in April with Doktor242. i'm not going to bother analyzing whether or not i was happier here or there; it doesn't matter; i just exist, and had my share of complaints there too.. i juar need to take better care of myself i guess good night guys sweet dreams to all love (and a bullet) DBD |
