2003-01-20 18:33:49 ET|
Disclaimer: This is "for real". It is something I put a lot ov thought into recently. No, it's not something I am doing to get attention, seem "inaccessible", "hard to get", or seem more attractive. I have made a decision and decided to share it with everyone just so there are no misconceptions about anything with anyone.
I realize that a lot ov people have felt that way. I realize it's a "phase". But just as I don't go up to every teenage girl who thinks they're bi because they kissed their best friend at a sleepover and mock them to their face, please do not question my beliefs. I feel rather strongly about this, so before you discredit my genuine feelings on the topic consider the fact that I never put a label on my sexuality to begin with.
At this point in my life, I am experiencing no attraction to anyone. No serious attraction. Or even if I did, I refuse to do anything about it.
*Because I enjoy talking to people as opposed to making out with them.
*Because I am not a piece ov meat.
*Because I see the confusion making out/casual sex/etc. causes among my friends. I absolutely refuse to be a part ov that.
And this is the BIG ONE:
I feel that people like me for the wrong reasons. I feel like people "get to know me" to try to fuck me.
I'm not down with that.
I like having platonic friends, I like going out, getting smashed, and nowhere in that does the desire to "do stuff" fit in there.
And no this decision was not driven:
1-By someone breaking my heart (actually my cardiac muscle is fine thank you)
2-By me slutting around (NOTHING is further from the truth.I've been as prude as it gets to be honest).
So, in conclusion children I Beatrice A. Sara Wilgucki have chosen to be celibate from this day forward.
I don't want it and I certainly don't need it.
I have other things to focus on.
So..now I sit back and amuse myself by the amount ov people that will stop calling me/doing nice things for me/wanting to hang out/etc. just because there will be no chance ov me doing shit w/anyone.
I did not express half the things I wanted to express, mainly due to the fact that I just "don't have a way with words"
But I want to say this much..respect my decision or "fuck off and walk".
Plus asexuality has been hitting me hard core.