I'm such a mess...
2007-07-17 08:50:17 ET

So I finally came clean with my husband about how much finacial debt I got us into. He's not very happy, and I definately understand that.I am so much like my mom, I buy things to make myself feel better. Even if its not for me, I love getting things for other people, but its really gotten me in a bind.

We have no savings and he was hopeing to get out of the Navy soon, but he feels like he won't be able to now. We make it, but we have no extra because of me. He feels I am to selfish and greedy and that I want to keep him in the service so I don't have to see him. Thats really not it at all, I just failed to look at the big picture and see how my spending would affect us all in the future.

His words hurt and I already feel like a complete dumbass. I have an appointment at 1:00 tomorrow with a finacial advisor, hopefully it will help me. He's telling me to sell all of my things that I don't need including my camera, wich I don't know if I can do. I love photography and its one of the things that really makes me happy. I guess its just me being selfish again but I really don't want to get rid of it.

He has also brought up donating my eggs, wich I guess I can get quite a bit of money for them, but I haven't looked into it and thats really personal. He says I got us into this and I am soly responsible for getting us out of it. He has even brought up getting a divorce because he cant deal with me any more. "You are so much like your mom, and I can't stand that woman. I thought you were different." With everything thats going on right now, I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm so stressed out, and I feel like there isn't anything I can do about it.

2007-07-17 09:05:35 ET

well you've come clean about it which, is more than most people can muster doing.
be proud of yourself for at least that

2007-07-17 10:29:18 ET

I don't know how long you've been married but know my husband is also in the service (ARMY) and in our situation the shoe is on the other foot. He seems to think if there is money in the bank it needs to be spent, although in the past four years of our marriage he has gotten better. It is something you have to work through as a couple, just know you are learning because you have realized your mistakes and admitted them. That is the first step to recovery, not to sound cliche. Don't sell your camaera, if that makes you happy, use that to get you out of debt. Take pictures for family in friends, instead of them paying a photograpy studio let them pay you. With today's technology an amature photographer's work can look just as good as a professionals. Then when you feel the need to give, give something you don't need or use anymore to charity, it gives you the same full effect and helps out with removal of the clutter, plus it is tax deductiable. Good luck

  Return to jenkins2921's page