2004-09-11 19:50:54 ET

i love how everyone i know has this internet clique thing and it is a big secret kept from me. like they all have xanga journals, and nobody invited me. i guess i am too sensitive, but i can't help but feel left out on purpose. i also fould out my boyfriend is on punk date. that is a real super good feeling too...knowing that your sig. other is on a dating page. kinda stings...but i guess he has been on there for a long time. i signed up on it now too. i hate hearing about something like that from other people. oh well. i can take the hint. whatever. i always knew i was not good enough, and thus the eyes stray...and perhaps the heart. fuck em all. this is my damn secret journal. fucking jerks. i bet they sit around and talk shit about me...then people wonder why i am so insecure these days.

2004-09-11 19:52:37 ET

*hugs* Cheer up, your a hottie ^^

2004-09-11 19:53:29 ET

eh.. i'm on a dating site thing, and i had a gf. But i wasnt using the dating page to find a new date, i was just fucking around.

I did break up with her recently, but it doesnt have to do with the dating site.

2004-09-11 19:57:05 ET

that happened with my ex, she was on a site, flirted all the time and etc but whatever its over now. im sure he wasnt doing anything like that, but i know how you feel.

2004-09-11 23:39:40 ET

Don't feel too left out. Maybe your friends thought you wouldn't be in to it. I used to be paranoid that people always talked shit behind my back. I think that is more of a deep seeded trust issue. If you mistrust them so much, maybe you should find a different crowd. What they do shouldn't make you feel insecure. Are they so great themselves that they should be able to declare your self worth? Anyway, it looks like your band is doing ok, you should feel good about that.

2004-09-12 09:31:54 ET

the internet totally adds a werid new layer to socialization.

2005-08-03 08:06:22 ET

"*hugs* Cheer up, your a hottie ^^"

yeah, because 'hotties' NEVER have problems. *sigh*

xanga blows. use LJ (sparingly)

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