The Fire
2005-01-14 23:21:49 ET

from the online journal of Peter Timothy Miller
on the events of the evening of January 14th, 2005

O.k. I feel that I must share this experience. I'm sure some of you will view this as controversial, this is not my intention. You don't have to read on if you do not wish to. I am not one to intentionally cause problems, nor am I one to force my beliefs on others. You do not have to comment on it if you don't wish, nor do you have to believe it. :) But, this happened to me and I want to share it with you, my friends.

I have always been a very logical person. I don't usually believe things without proof of some sort. I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember, I was babtized in the third grade. I was always taught that when a person is Babtized, they are sealed by the Holy Spirit, like you are the property of God. It wasn't until the recent past that I began to hear of a separate babtizm, the babtizm of the Holy Spirit. I was quite skeptical at first, wondering about the validity of those who spoke in tongues and things of that nature.

Last night, I was babtized in the Holy Spirit with the help of 3 of my fellow believers. My friends prayed with me and 2 spoke in tongues while the other was praying. I have never experienced anything like this within my sensory faculty. We closed our eyes, bowed our heads, and began to pray in turn. As we started, there were noises of unrest out side the room, which my friends later told me that none of them heard. I distinctly heard at least 4 sources of "scurrying" (for lack of a better discriptive word). I believe that this was the manifestation of at least 4 demons who were frightned and shaken by the presence of the Holy Spirit.

After my friends prayed and spoke in a language I have never heard, it was my turn to pray. I began to shake. The only way i know how to describe it is like a shiver only it was much longer. My upper body became tense and I was immersed in a feeling of overwhelming joy to the extent that it made me smile and i could not stop. Then my legs began to shake like a muscle that has been overworked, but I didn't feel weak. It was a feeling of empowerment, a feeling of being connected to a source of power outside of myself that was too much for my body to handle. One of my friends began to cry and laugh at the same time.

After we were finished, the feeling of bliss and elation remained and continues even now. I felt, and still feel, as if a burden I have bore my whole life has been lifted. I feel lighter, like my body doesn't weigh as much.

My friends told me that, and I truely believe, that from this day forward things are going to be different and I am going to begin to see things in a different light. I saw evidence of this power immediately after I woke up and attended formation this morning.

Why did this happen to me now? Why at this time? Why did I have to go through all the things in my life before this time? As I said before, I have never been a very leadable person. I have always had to be dragged along God's will kicking and screaming. I think He had to bring me to this point, my wilderness experience. I had to be broken down to the lowest point in order to recieve all the wonderful things He wants me to have. I have dealt with depression since I was a child, and I see NO traces of it today. It as if I do not have to operate under my own strength any longer and I can rest. I can also tell you that I would go through all of it again 3 times over and wouldn't change a thing knowing now that it all brought me to this point.
I did not begin to and still cannot fathom the level of power I am dealing with. Nor have I experienced the level of LOVE God has for us. It is OVERWHELMING! I do not claim to be a good person through anything I have done. On the contrary, I have spoken horrible and hurtful words to others, even to God Himself! I have done things in my life that I am horribly and utterly ashamed of! I had no idea that God loves us so much, even a person like me.

Again, I do not wish to cause controversy with this post. I am not force what I believe on you. You do not even have to believe me. I only wish to share this with you and hope that you get a blessing out of it. And as sure as I am living and breathing today, I physically experienced these things. I only want you to know this: they happened to me and it was as real as the blood that flows in me.

2005-01-15 00:30:41 ET

You sound like a newly christened person :)
I'm glad you had a good experience :)

2005-01-15 06:35:33 ET

i know what he's talking about. but haven't experienced it myself.

2005-01-15 07:59:19 ET

Baruk hashem Adoni! (blessed be the name of the Lord) I proly spelled it wrong, what I remember is the sound of the words. Needles to say this is fantastic news and my day is the better for reading it. My wife and I were talking this morning about this past year being a dry one spiritualy and how we are both hungry for a renewed relationship with Jesus.

2005-01-15 08:16:17 ET

jehovah jireh

2005-01-15 09:57:01 ET

That's awesome, Pete!

2005-01-15 10:45:27 ET

good for you pete.

i personally am not religious.

but i'm glad that you have had this personally reawakening.

2005-01-16 03:38:22 ET

without sounding cliche, all i can say is im very happy for you.. i wish i had the same happiness you have at this moment.

2005-01-16 06:57:16 ET

you can.

2005-01-16 07:38:03 ET

even though i was raised as a christain, it's always hard for me to beleive in it.. its hard for me to beleive that everyhting will go good if i put my life in the hands of someone who im not even sure exists.

2005-01-16 07:47:18 ET

everything won't go good. the world isn't perfect. god never promised us a rose garden. infact, after adam and eve..he promised us hell on earth. if you believe in satan..well you're walking on his ground. we aren't perfect. so everything won't go good. it's just a faith walk. but it's a chosen faith walk.
i believe everything happens for a reason.. that there is some master plan. and even if we don't walk the walk we're supposed to.. good things can come from it later down the line. and we may never know about it.

i was raised christian as well.. but the whole aspect of it..really didn't click for me until around 8th grade. and that's not my parents fault. they believed in something and they wanted me to know the same things they did. just like any parent who raises their kid in a certain religion.
but in the end. it comes down to you and your god. cause you're parents can't save you...

2005-01-16 12:28:55 ET

i agree with you on that, no one can save you. it was difficult to explain that to my brother when he was demanding that i be a christian.

im not saying i beleive in no religion or anything like that, but lately, if i sit down to pray, i feel like its all in vain.. almost.. silly.

and i know that everything wouldnt be perfect, but God would help you know what the right decision would be in certain situations.

2005-01-16 12:34:58 ET

i've been feeling like that lately when i pray too. but for different reasons.
and not to cast blame. but satan is going to try his damn best to make us think it's all in vain. not to go on a power trip, but the battle is already won. and you have the ability to cast satan aside so you can have some peace and quiet while you pray. because it's not about him. it's about you and your relationship with god and the time you want to spend chasing after that relationship. and trust me. you don't need to run far at all to find it. spirituality is real. it's not something seen or tangible. but it's real to individuals. and anybody can have it. just reach for it.

2005-01-16 12:36:42 ET

there's a book out there called Case for Christ by lee strobel. i enjoyed it. for people like me who were raised christian but still have questions.. it was written by an athiest journalist. who set out to prove his wife wrong when she became christian. in the end.. he became a christian too. but it took a couple years to write the book.

2005-01-16 12:37:45 ET

o and sorry if i'm buggin. just let me know.

2005-01-16 17:20:47 ET

no ur not buggin, im glad you have such information and such.
sometimes i do sit here and think tho, who cares if it feels silly to pray.. its just me.. who am i trying to impress?

2005-01-16 17:38:39 ET

exactly. i can understand when people are more or less forced information about christianity..but when someone wants to believe in god and go about his business and live his life praising to him.. what's it hurting anybody else.

2005-01-18 07:50:16 ET

that's awesome pete. it is an amazing feeling. :D

2005-01-19 09:27:15 ET

You don't have to appologise for wanting to relate your religious experience. One of my best teachers was a Dominican nun, who once told me that a religious expierence cannot be judged, quantified, labeled, or explained by reason because it is above all of those things. I have not seen anything to prove her wrong.

I am no longer christian myself, I walk another path now. However, I wish you well on your journey. This is but the beginning. Think of the wonders that await you further on. Be well, and may you find happiness.

2005-01-19 09:46:35 ET

thank you!!! :)

2005-01-23 22:54:24 ET

just read this

excellent. its a weird feeling isn't it ?

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