sleepy (again.......... probably)
2006-08-21 01:33:49 ET

I got off work a bit ago. I was reallly surprised that we got off so early. shit is crazy at work. there isnt very much room for us to stack the newspapers, we are understaffed, and the machines are either fucking up or broken, so me getting off at 2:30ish is CRAZY!

I am pretty sure that everyone at work thinks the following of me:

that I am weird, but nice, or that I am just quite. A lot of times I feel like people just see me as some stupid girl. I think this because unless I am in the comfort of my friends, then I generally dont talk. (actually even if my friends are around, I sometimes still have a hard time talking to people I am not close with) I am terrible at making conversation. I dont know why, I just am. so when maria isnt at work with me, I usually just bring a book and my cds and dont really talk to anyone (dont think I havent tried talking to people...I have, it doesnt work), which is why they probably think I am weird.

I feel like people see me this way a lot (If they have met me a few times, and dont really know me) but it is mostly my fault because I cant talk. A lot of times I will be standing by someone who would at least be considered an acquaintance, and I will be trying to think of something to talk about, I will think of topics in my head, and sometimes I will start a conversation, but it ends within about 2 sentences......and then there is this awkward silence....its never good.

2006-08-21 03:02:51 ET

i used to be like that a lot

i just figure it to be a huge flaw in a system
where being human, just isn't quite right... haha
instead we must be machines, perfect... color coated machines...
fit for the printing press i suppose...

(ehhh more or less lately i feel more so like a sideshow clown dressed up in a monkey suit) if it wasn't for my stand, i don't think i'd have anything

2006-08-21 06:47:36 ET

I used to feel that way, and i figured the ones who were really worth the time would get to know me instead of being put off by any social awkwardness. I don't really talk to anyone at work if you're not there either. At least I won't initiate the conversation. I don't think they'd get half the jokes i'd make, and all i'd get is a funny look and a 'don't talk to her, she's weird' or something. laaame!

2006-08-24 22:17:18 ET

i think you are full of awesomeness and i will fight someone to the death if they want to convince me otherwise ... TO THE DEATH!

2006-08-26 08:16:15 ET

im like that, which makes it especially hard to start all over making friends when all the ones you knew turned away. once im able again, booze will help me come out from behind this mask and talk to some people i wouldnt have otherwise. i know youre not supposed to use liquor that way but it is my friend. is there anything that helps you be a little more outgoing amoung lesser known people that youve noticed?

2006-08-26 15:01:29 ET

no, I'm always just kind of akward.

  Return to voodoolady's page