*somethings so terribly wrong*
2003-01-28 18:27:12 ET

i cannot let go. i mean i feel so much pain. all i think about is hurting myself. just doing it. not to kill myself but to feel the pain. i'm deathly afraid of losing those i love. i mean it happens all the time. its just so awful i can't stand it. everything good is always taken away from me. its so hard to believe that i have good things at times.

why do i keep living in the past?

pitiful // blindside

2003-01-28 18:49:50 ET

ive been there...many many times...<firm hug>

dont hurt yourself...kick life in the nuts and keep doing whats best for you. you'll get thru it hun, give it time...i know you can do it.

by the way...blindside rocks...and so do you (:

2003-01-28 19:10:19 ET

Sweetie... call me.. I was up, don't hesitate to call when you feel like this... I love you.

2003-01-29 05:56:26 ET

Turbo: *hugs back* its just so weird. at times i just feel like giving up and at others i stand so strong.. yeah i love blindside and you do rawk as well!

Gray-ham: i didn't want to call you. cause i knew i wouldn't do anything. i just felt meloncholy. i feel better fighting things on my own

2003-01-29 06:12:53 ET

Walk on dear, walk on.

2003-01-29 09:25:34 ET

here is a poem that i...well..just read it...i think this is kind of about how you feel...hope you'll feel better hon =)
Her face in her hands, she leans against the walls
The tears stream down her pale skin
She tries to hold on, but she is weak, she falls
Her mind remembers her many sins
She holds a photo, torn in places
Her fingers run over the paper
She sees their faces; she hears their voices
Crying to her through the paper
Why won’t
They let her sleep?

2003-01-29 21:39:09 ET

Mmmmm... that is a nice poem.

2003-01-30 16:57:59 ET

thank you =)

2003-01-31 18:11:21 ET

i don't think anyone's ever had it more correct! that was absolutely beautiful. and its absolutely what it feels like. but its really just the tip of the ice berg

2003-01-31 18:17:30 ET

=) thank you, i've got 1 more. maybe this one'll b the middle of the iceberg ;)
I know I am living, yet I am not alive
Seeking a new beginning, for fresh life I strive
Looking for the life through its haze
Only finding more cold dark days
The heart is now cold, the mind is now black
Feeling so old and so far off track
well, i dunno whether this one relates, it's just how i feel most of the time,so,anyways,i'll just shut up...

2003-01-31 18:22:42 ET

lol don't shut up they're really awesome i mean i've never had someone even sorta understand and you get it really well..... grr i think i am part schiztorphrenic lol i can't spell that word...

2003-01-31 18:28:50 ET

he-he, skitsophrenic or schizotipal or schizoid?=)

2003-02-02 23:20:59 ET

Skitz works as well.
I agree with BrownEyedGirl, both of your poems are very good.

2003-02-03 11:34:50 ET

aw, thanks guys =)

2003-02-05 15:04:54 ET

you're very welcome

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