Just more thought...
2005-08-05 20:31:10 ET

If life begins to become too much is it healthy to wish for the end but not do anything about it? It's not like I want to live but for the past year I have really felt like living was an uphill struggle that will eventually get the best of me. I'm already high strung and easily angered. I don't lash out... but I do tend to verbally attack people that I would have normally ignored. I just don't understand what is so beautiful about a world that forces one to be negative in order to survive...

okay... that is all.

2005-08-06 10:40:08 ET

hmm...i know that feeling...i say just give it time. life also likes to make us wait unecessarily >_<

2005-08-08 14:34:27 ET

I agree.

2005-08-09 09:08:02 ET

ooof... I've been waiting and I really think I will die unfulfilled. I just have these dreams that are so significant and I've tried to get them out of my mind but they just won't go away. Like I had this wonderful dream to be a animation artist for Disney... and with time that disappeared... but there's this one that just won't leave and it sucks cuz I could be happy if that one expectation just disappeared but to no avail.

I wouldn't categorize this as being a suicidal entry or myself as being anywhere close to suicidal... but I do feel utterly hopeless.

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