Crack Use On The Rise In The Suburbs
2004-04-10 11:28:43 ET

Here's a great movie emphasizing the fact that crack use is rising sharply in American suburbia. It stars none other than Captain Planet:

Sperm Race To Be Televised On The BBC
2004-04-10 08:43:57 ET

Fuck It
2004-04-10 07:58:54 ET

I stole this from Chappelle's Show (From Here):

Fuck It

i dont believe your pappy
he may be rich but he aint happy
tells you about work and you want to be him
but when was the last time you got to see him

he works hard, why?
so you can go out and buy
a bunch of shit that you dont need
driven by your punk ass hopes and greed

that's why i say fuck it

for the first time in my life
i'm finally free
no mansion for me
i said fuck it

no brand new humvee
i say fuck it

but you'll get no pussy
fuck it

what you dont understand
is i make love to my hand
so i dont need you, honey
i beat my dick like it owes me money

fuck it
that's right i said
fuck it

2004-04-09 18:56:08 ET

I've removed most of the people from my SK buddy list. If you want me to add you back, leave a comment. Or a $10 bill.

Come watch it *NOW*
2004-04-03 20:17:30 ET

Watch this important political commentary made by me NOW for it shall disappear in 14 days!

Shamelessly Stolen From KithFan.Org
2004-03-31 11:09:50 ET

God Is Dead

Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: Matt Morrison (

Bruce- Philosopher 1
Mark- Philosopher 2
Kevin- Skeptic 1
Scott- Skeptic 2
Dave- A priest
Man- Announcer

[Scene: A room that looks like a giant shoe box made to look like a dollhouse or a diorama (remember those from elementary school?) This whole skit is shot in black and white and has the tone of a fifties school film both in music and acting style.]

[The philosophers sit and, and drink and stroke their beards until Bruce turns to Mark.]

Bruce: God is dead.

Announcer V.O.: Yes. "God is dead", cried Nietzsche. And the cry has been heard for years. But for each philosopher, there has been a cynic. [Scott and Kevin pop out of nowhere]

Kevin: No way!

Scott: Prove it!

Announcer V.O.: And that is where the argument has stalemated... until now!

[We see a man holding a small body. Two other men stand in the back.]

Man: God IS dead. And here is the body to prove it.

[The cynics appear, their hair messed]

Kevin: You've just blown my mind!

Scott: Our minds have been blown!

[We see the philosophers, looking very smug]

[A doctor examines the body and nods sadly at the camera.]

Announcer V.O.: The world is shocked. First to find out God did in fact exist and second to find out he was now dead.

[We see a montage of crowd scenes, and various people looking stunned, ending with a shot of a sad priest (Dave)]

Dave: I've got some good news and some bad news.

[Dave motions to the small coffin he stands next to.]

Announcer V.O.: But the world was most shocked to find out how small God was.

[We see several images of wind pushing around trees, lightning storms and a flower blooming in sped-up time during the next speech and finally the man holding the small body again.]

Announcer V.O.: Imagine winds.... storms... the miracle of life. All from this tiny God with such tiny hands and feet.

Man: He's really light, too.

[We see Dave hold up and turn a small jacket. It has GOD spelled out on the back.]

Announcer V.O.: Yes, God did exist. He died. He was very small. Mystery solved!

[We see a mother and her daughter holding candles and crying.]

Announcer V.O.: The world has a brief period of mourning.

[Cut to pictures of trucks going down the highway.]

Announcer V.O.: And then it's business as usual, on the streets and highways that God built.
1 comment

2004-03-27 09:16:04 ET

Goddammit. I can't open any of my .mht files using IE6 even though I created them before with Internet Explorer. Apparently the version I'm using now does not support mht support (i.e. I can't save whole webpages as a single .mht file anymore). Wtf? Anyone know how I can get around this?

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