HERES THE SITUATION: I LIVE WITH MY DAD. WE JUST MISSED OUR MORGAGE PAYMENT, SO ITS EITHER $5,000.00 OR THE STREETS FOR US. NEITHER OF US HAVE A JOB AT THE MOMENT, AND NO ONE TO FALL BACK ON IN THIS TIME OF NEED. I KNOW IT CANT BE PAID SO BASICALLY, WE ALREADY DONT HAVE A HOUSE. HERES ALITTLE MORE ABOUT MY DAD, HE LOST HIS JOB BEFORE MY MOM LEFT HIM 2 YEARS AGO, HE DIDNT HAVE A JOB FOR A YEAR BEFORE THAT. HAS HAD MAYBE A FEW ODD JOBS IN BETWEEN, HASEN'T REALLY STUCK WITH ANYTHING. I HAD THE JOBS AND STUCK WITH THEM AND PAID FOR ALOT AROUND THE HOUSE. NOW MY DADS GIRLFRIEND DIED IN DEC. AND I FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. AND HE KEEPS SAYING THINGS LIKE " WHEN YOU WALK OUT THAT DOOR YOU ARE GONE FOR GOOD, I WILL WRITE YOU OFF COMPLETELY" REFERRING TO ME GOING WITH MY MOM. NOW SINCE SHE LEFT IF I DIDN'T DO THINGS THE WAY HE WANTED, OR GIVE HIM MONEY FOR BOOZE OR GAS, HE WOULD THROW A FIT LIKE A 3 YEAR OLD..AND COME OF WITH SHIT LIKE " GO LIVE WITH YOUR MOTHER" OR " JUST FUCKIN LEAVE" MY MOM IS THE ONLY PERSON I HAVE AS A FORM OF SUPPORT RIGHT NOW IN THIS ROUGH PATCH OF LIFE I'M GOING THROUGH. IN MARCH SHE IS MOVING TO SOUTH CAROLINA, WHICH MEANS I WONT HAVE A SUPPORT SYSTEM ANYMORE. NOW ITS MY DAD AND I LOVE HIM DEARLY, BUT I DONT WANT TO BE WRITTEN OFF FROM HIS LIFE FOR GOOD, AND I DONT WANT TO LEAVE HIM TO STRUGGLE. BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT I NEED TO DO FOR ME NOW..AND TRY TO MAKE MY LIFE SOMETHING. I'M JUST NOT SURE THOUGH... HERES MY OPTIONS: 1.) I CAN STAY HERE WITH MY DAD AND BE HOMELESS AND STRUGLE, MAYBE GO DOWN WITH HIM. HE'LL TAKE ALL MY MONEY, AND I'LL NEVER MAKE IT TO THE CINEMA MAKE-UP SCHOOL IN L.A. LIKE I WANT TO. OR 2.) I CAN PICK UP EVERYTHING HERE AND GO TO SOUTH CAROLINA WITH MY MOM AND BROTHER IN MARCH. GET A GOOD JOB, HAVE SOMEWHERE TO LIVE, GET SOME WHEELS, SAVE UP MONEY, LIVE ON THE BEACH, AND EVENTUALLY GET TO GO TO THE SCHOOL IN L.A. LIKE I WANT TO. ANY ADVICE???? PLEASE.. ANYONE.. I'M STUCK RIGHT NOW...
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LETS JUST SAY IT COULD'VE WENT BETTER THAN IT DID. BUT IT WAS ALRIGHT.. HERE ARE SOME PICTURES.. |
YEA...LAST NIGHT WAS SPENT IN THE E.R. I GOT SLICED AND DICED, POKED AND PRODDED.. THEY BELIEVE I HAVE STAPH INFECTION IN MY LEG...OH JOY. IT WAS A WIERD EXPERIENCE....INSTEAD OF SCREAMING IN PAIN..I WAS CRYING BUT THE SOUNDS YOU MAKE WHEN YOU CRY WAS REPLACED WITH ME LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY. THE DOCTOR PROBABLY THOUGHT I WAS ON DRUGS, WHICH AT THAT POINT IN TIME...I WISHED I WERE. HE SHOVED THESE LITTLE SISSORS IN MY LEG....ABOUT A 1/2 INCH IN MY LEG...AND WOULD OPEN AND CUT AND POKE AND POKE AND CUT AND POKE AND CUT.......SARA WAS WITH ME...AND I THINK THE MOST VIVID MEMORY SHE WILL HAVE OF THAT NIGHT IS WHEN HE STARTED WITH THE POKEY THINGY..AND I LOOK AT HER...BITING MY HOODIE IN PAIN..WITH THE MOST HORRIFIED LOOK EVER...REACHING OUT TO HER...SWINGING MY HAND REAL FAST. OTHER THEN THAT I THINK I TOOK IT LIKE A TROOPER..I DIDN'T SCREAM...AND I WASEN'T BAWLING...I WAS LAUGHING TEARFULLY AND CRACKIN JOKES ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING ON. I TOLD THE DOCTOR THAT ALL THAT TORTURE WAS THE BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT ALL DAY. |
I'M IN A PRETTY CRAPPY MOOD RIGHT NOW. I'VE BEEN VERY NOSTALGIC TODAY. I MISS THE SUMMER...REALLY BAD. SO MANY GOOD TIMES. AND ITS NOT JUST SUMMER I MISS. JUST ....PAST STUFF IN GENERAL. GOOD MEMORIES WITH SPECIAL PEOPLE. PEOPLE THAT LEFT AN IMPRINT ON MY HEART. ONE IN PARTICULAR... |
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