shitty..2003-07-07 13:00:02 ET

My grandfather had a heart attack the other day. Well today we just got word that only 10-15% of his heart is working. It sucks. So I'm at my aunts I go home tomorrow. Then I go to AJs. I'm going on with my normal schedule for this week, it keeps me busy. Plus my grandfather gets out of the hospital in a couple of days so I'll see him at his house. I seen him in the hospital the other day and I don't want to agian. I really hate hospitals.. they make me ill.
2 comments

grr2003-07-05 16:32:58 ET

I asked AJ to plan a day he wanted to hang out in advance because I have to go to my aunts for a couple of days and I wanted to know when I needed to come back. So I called his house today and talked to his mom and she told me he wanted to to stay tomorrow night. And I can't. I'm going to my aunts tomorrow. And it pisses me off because I wouldn't have knowen until tonight about that. And I find that last minute not fuckin advanced. And so I can't stay at his house. And my aunt said she wanted me to come down for "a couple of days"..well to me thats 2 days. And my mom was like " she wants you down there for 4 days." And that pisses me off. She should've said she wanted me to come down for half the week damnit. So everythings fucked.. and I'm mostly pissed off at AJ for disreguarding my "planned advanced day" thing and making me staying last minute. I wouldnt have knowen until about 10:30pm-11:00pm tonight. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
4 comments

blah2003-07-04 14:13:42 ET

Happy fuckin 4th to everyone else!

Hope yours is 100 times better than mine has been!
5 comments

Odd..2003-07-03 05:13:20 ET

AJ and I were talking at 3am the other day.. and I was telling him of how much he helped me get through and away from a very bad time and habit and how much that ment to me.. and how much he means to me... and yea..other mushy stuff. So I come home the next day and I pick up a book of my writings and this poem falls out....

"Silver Junkie"
Sticks and stones,
may break bones.
But words can kill.
Its building up!
Its built up!
Like a poison,
fed in small amounts.
Turning agianst yourself.
The relief,
its like a drug.
Like a drug.
Its building up!
Its built up now!
The silver drug,
doesn't hurt.
The red rush,
can't be stopped.
Its building up!
Its built up now!
Feelings of nothing.
Feelings of hate.
Words kill with,
its silver side kick.
Its building up!
Its built up now!
Uncontrolled silver,
Never ending addiction,
Cotton candy scars.
choked heart.
Weak!
So fuckin weak.
Its built up!
Its built up now!
Dull playschool cutters,
Loving a playground of flesh.
Just another silver junkie.
Weak silver junkie,
rescue is coming soon.
Its built up!
Its fuckin built up!
Rescues coming soon.
Open your eyes.
Little pale silver junkie,
open your fuckin eyes!
Its crumbling down!
Its tumbling down!
Blue in the eyes.
A lifeful touch.
Silver junkie.
Gentle embrace of hope.
Its crumbled down!
Its demolished!
Safety embracing,
won't let go now,
wont give up.
Kiss of safety,
never letting go.
Silver junkie,
another bad memory.
The embracing safety,
feeding a hungry heart,
immortal love.
Its gone now.
Its all over now.
Giving hope.
Happiness,
neglected no more.
He forever keeps her safe,
from the silver monster,
which is,
no more.



it was just odd how that happened to be the poem that fell out....

Out..2003-06-28 05:40:13 ET

I finally got out last night. I had my mom drop me off at the mall. AJ was working... he was moping the floor so I stopped in and talked to him for about 20 mins. Then I walked around and found my friend Andy. Then we all went to Taco Bell to eat. Then went back to the mall. Around 8, AJ was out in the dining area sitting so I went over and talked to him.. then we went outside to smoke a cigarette. Then he had to go back to work, so I found Andy and his 2 friends,Julia and Johnny. Found out we had to leave because they got kicked out for the stupidest reason in the world. A group of people went out to Johnnys car while Julia, Andy, and Johnny were in JC pennys. When the group of people came back the security gaurd told them that they can't go in groups to a vehicle so they were kicked out for the night. Andy said " I wasent even with them. I'm filing a complaint" and the security guard said that he was kicked out until the 7th. They gave them a card with the mall rules.. and it says nothing about going to a vehicle in groups.I don't know maybe I'm blind.. but do you see anything about that on it??

Its so fuckin gay. Its only because they weren't happy with the way andy was dress, either that or they were jealous that they don't look that good in a TIGHT TIGHT TIGHT tank top and leather pants and a burger king crown. Oh well....after that we went to the Cumberland mall... its a not like an inside mall.. is a place where you walk around out side to a bunch a stores. It was neat.
6 comments

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