Like a filtered reality

2004-04-22 09:39:44 ET Top "Ten" Reads for 2004: 1. God-Shaped Hole - Tiffanie DeBartolo 2. Good People of New York - Thisbe Nissen 3. Out of the Girl's Room and Into the Night - Thisbe Nissen 4. Boy's Life - Robert McCammon 5. The Secret History - Donna Tartt 6. The Little Friend - Donna Tartt 7. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold 8. Important Things That Don't Matter - David Amsden 9. Wild At Heart - John Eldredge 10. Farewell to Arms - Ernest Hemingway (11.)Lais of Marie De France - Glyn S. Burgess (12.)Talk Before Sleep - Elizabeth Berg (Jen needs to read this one!)

Why I shouldn't read poetry

2004-04-21 10:21:20 ET Reading poetry makes me think. I did myself in and got a Sharon Olds poetry book. Shouldn't I know better? Anyway, this one made me cry like a little girl. Why don't my poems ever work out this way? The Knowing - Sharon Olds "Afterwards, when we have slept, paradise- comaed and woken, we lie a long time looking at each other. I do not know what he sees, but I see eyes of surpassing tenderness and calm, a calm like the dignity of matter. I love the open ocean blue-grey-green of his iris, I love the curve of it against the white, that curve the sight of what has caused me to come, when he's quite still, deep inside me. I have never seen a curve like that, except the earth from outer space. I don't know where he got his kindness without self-regard, almost without self, and yet he chose one woman, instead of the others. By knowing him, I get to know the purity of the animal which mates for life. Sometimes he is slightly smiling, but mostly he just gazes at me gazing, his entire face lit. I love to see it change if I cry--there is no worry, no pity, no graver radiance. If we are on our backs, side by side, with our faces turned fully to face each other, I can hear a tear from my lower eye hit the sheet, as if it is an early day on earth, and then the upper eye's tears braid and sluice down through the lower eyebrow like the invention of farmimg, irrigation, a non-nomadic people. I am so lucky that I can know him. This is the only way to know him. I am the only one who knows him. When I wake again, he is still looking at me, as if he is eternal. For an hour we wake and doze, and slowly I know that though we are sated, though we are hardly touching, this is the coming the other coming brought us to the edge of--we are entering, deeper and deeper, gaze by gaze, this place beyond the other places, beyond the body itself, we are making love."

Just to be spiteful

2004-04-21 10:06:41 ET I feel like driving to Baltimore, sitting on the curb in some random spot and waiting for it to rain . . .why? Just to be spiteful.

Preserving what's left

2004-04-20 09:45:35 ET *** Self-Preservation *** Breakfast, sat on a Japanese mattress Getting this happy takes practice The world would be duller without us Blacklist anyone who tries to attack this They can say what they like but the fact is They know nothing about us And, yeah, we're a mess But let me just stress That we're both at our best in a tight spot And whatever comes next If we leave the nest Don't settle for less than what we've got Dive in: the summer is good to be alive in Your boat was a long time arriving And it's been a while since I kissed you Timing: the temperature's high and it's climbing How did I find the bind I'm in? You haven't gone but I miss you And, yeah, we're a mess But let me just stress That we're both at our best in a tight spot And whatever comes next If we leave the nest Don't settle for less than what we've got And right, here's what's left And we've worked with less I just don't get where the lines stop Keep your cards pressed up close to your chest And they'll never guess the hand we've got Blacklist anyone who tries to attack this They can say what they like but the fact is They know nothing about us -The (venerable) Lucksmiths *** Dave And Mary *** Dave and Mary quite contrary live in a council block. High in the sky, they wonder why They have to strenghthen their front door lock. They're living on dreams and custard creams And laying awake at nite. Living in fear like all the old dears. Something just ain't right. Though he looks quite old, he's only twenty three. He's the father of a boy and a girl you see. He scrimps and saves on his pittance of pay. Just to keep his old woman at bay. Dave and Mary, Dave and Mary Jones. Dave and Mary, Dave and Mary Jones. Well, the world's full of Dave and Marys, but what have they done wrong? They tried too hard, they've been mentally scarred, they're singing the same old song. The story of Dave and Mary is a typical tragedy. The only things they've got left in life, are the kids and an old Capri. She looks a mess in her tattty old dress. She never wears make-up, she couldn't care less. The baby was born on the day she left school. She doesn't believe in nothing at all. Dave and Mary, Dave and Mary Jones. Dave and Mary, Dave and Mary Jones. -Hotknives 2 comments

Any day of the week would do just fine

2004-04-19 09:42:24 ET Come Monday "Headin’ up to san francisco For the labor day week-end show I’ve got my hush-puppies on I guess I never was meant for glitter rock and roll And honey I didn’t know That I’d be missin’ you so Chorus: Come monday, it’ll be all right Come monday, I’ll be holdin’ you tight I spent four lonely days in a brown l. a. haze And I just want you back by my side Yes, it’s been quite a summer Rent-a-cars and west-bound trains And now you’re off on vacation Somethin’ you tried to explain And darlin’, since I love you so That’s the reason I just let you go Chorus: Come monday, it’ll be all right Come monday, I’ll be holdin’ you tight I spent four lonely days in a brown l. a. haze And I just want you back by my side I can’t help it honey You’re that much a part of me now Remember that night in montana When we said there’d be no room for doubt I hope you’re enjoyin’ the scen’ry I know that it’s pretty up there We can go hikin’ on tuesday With you I’d walk anywhere California has worn me quite thin I just can’t wait to see you again Chorus: Come monday, it’ll be all right Come monday, I’ll be holdin’ you tight I spent four lonely days in a brown l. a. haze And I just want you back by my side" -Jimmy Buffet 1974

Haiku, schmiku; I think I like you.

2004-04-19 09:30:28 ET A "Haiku" - that I wrote. An empty bed creaks sadly. My arms ache for you. In the dark, all is silent.

Come Away

2004-04-17 14:50:09 ET "Come away with me in the night Come away with me And I will write you a song Come away with me on a bus Come away where they can't tempt us With their lies I want to walk with you On a cloudy day In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high So won't you try to come Come away with me and we'll kiss On a mountaintop Come away with me And I'll never stop loving you And I want to wake up with the rain Falling on a tin roof While I'm safe there in your arms So all I ask is for you To come away with me in the night Come away with me" - Norah Jones 2 comments

Amber Benson rocks my world

2004-04-17 14:47:41 ET "My life is full of shit and the worst of it hasn't hit the fan yet."

I got nothing

2004-04-14 09:46:02 ET Well, well, well . . .I sit down to write to tell you fine folks how I've been doing and can't think of a thing to say. I guess, I've gotten too caught up in the easiness of posting lyrics that express the moment. Well, whatever . . . So, I come home last night from a rollicking symphony rehearsal and find my sister camped out at my kitchen table. Incidently, she doesn't live with us anymore. But anyway, she was there and so had to be entertained for a while. As she was leaving, I turned on my computer and in a fit of far too much energy for anyone's own good, at least at the time of night that it was, decided to listen to the Bosstones whilst I did some work. This would have all worked out in a perfect, mundane, Tuesday night manner except that my dear mother (whom, my boyfriend ;o) thinks is old and complains a lot)came upstairs from bidding my sister goodbye, heard the music, pushed back the kitchen table and proceeded to swing dance with me -in the middle of the kitchen- until I could barely breathe. I'm still not sure what exactly it was that got into her. But it *was* fun. Then, after this unexpected fun, I thought it might be time to call "the man" and apologize for being mad at him over something he had no control over. That didn't go over so good as he was all primed to defend himself and I side-swiped him by not being angry anymore. So 58 minutes and some seconds later, after we had continuously picked silly fights with one another, I finally got to go to bed. Whatever . . .Then, I couldn't fall asleep and consequently, I was very tired all day today. **sigh** Oddly enough I can think of no appropriate lyrics to post with this blog . . .hrm . . . any suggestions? "Tunnel vision is the enemy of good music. Whether it's jazz or punk or anything else, you have to fight against the purists who want to narrow the definition. That's what kills music because it stifles it to death." - Joe Strummer, 1952-2002 1 comment

Primitive fixations

2004-04-12 09:26:36 ET So it's been a bizzaro past couple of days . . . Every now and again, I post ridiculous lyrics . . .I just can't help myself... Extraordinary - Liz Phair You think that I go home at night Take off my clothes, turn out the lights But I burn letters that I write To you, to make you love me Yeah, I drive naked through the park And run the stop sign in the dark Stand in the street, yell out my heart To make, to make you love me I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary Average every day sane psycho Supergoddess Average every day sane psycho You may not believe in me But I believe in you So I still take the trash out Does that make me too normal for you? So dig a little deeper, cause You still don't get it yet See me lickin' my lips, need a primitive fix And I'll make, I'll make you love me I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary Average every day sane psycho Supergoddess Average every day sane psycho Supergoddess See me jump through hoops for you You stand there watching me performing What exactly do you do? Have you ever thought it's you that's boring? Who the hell are you? I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary Average every day sane psycho Supergoddess Average every day sane psycho

Ready for a break yet?

2004-04-06 09:57:46 ET I've had this song in my head all day. I think it's trying to tell me something. I figured You Out - Mary Lou Lord "I've seen you watching Her everytime she crosses the floor So won't you just go and talk to The one you really adore I'm getting pretty used to being The one that you always ignore When somebody wants you I've seen it before You're every kind of color There ain't nothing you won't claim Your ambition and promise And your addiction to fame And everyone's got a dollar Sign after their name When somebody wants you You treat em just the same So go on a pick-up You don't care what poison you choose And what person you choose It should've been me, yeah Shouldn't it be? Crushing quiet Blows in through the window To someone who wants you That you never know But I pick up around you And clear everything out Leave you where I found you I figured you out Leave you where I found you I figured you out"

The Soda Song

2004-04-06 09:40:31 ET OK, So I don't know if they came up with this one on their own, or if it's been around a while, but when my kids sang it to me today, it cracked me up. Give a look. The Soda Song "Coca Cola went to town, Pepsi came and shot him down, Dr. Pepper fixed him up, Now we're drinkin' seven up. Seven Up caught the flu. Now we're drinkin' Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew fell off the Mountain, Now we're drinkin from the fountain, Yesterday the fountain broke, Now we're drinkin' plain, old, ordinary coke." 6 comments

my horoscope and yours via "The Onion"

2004-04-05 16:46:20 ET Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23) You've always believed that the children are our future, which is true insofar as most are cruel, violent, and short. Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22) The stars believe that a person must make his own mistakes, but they warn you not to do anything that may, say, burn down Chicago this week. **snicker**

my day went past suck and right to blew.

2004-04-05 16:39:25 ET Shall we then discuss the suckage of this day? "You know what? I was wrong. You are an idiot. My life happens, on occasion, to suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than I can handle. Oh, it's not just mine. Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they are dealing with their own. The beautiful ones. The popular ones. The guys that pick on you. Everyone. If you could hear what they are feeling. The loneliness. The confusion. It looks quiet down there. Its not. It's deafening."

My car

2004-04-02 09:33:32 ET This morning my car became my saviour and it kinda freaked me out. I never realized how much like a cocoon my car actually is. I think I might stay it and keep on driving. That way I can sort of hide away with my music and the road and the hum of my motor. Maybe I'll even make it all the way to CA before I run out of gas. Not likely, but a nice dream. 2 comments

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