Sleepy Man
2004-05-28 10:41:21 ET

Sleepy Man - From "The Robber Bridegroom"

"Been a busy day
With some heavy seas
But you've done your best, sleepy man
Let your troubles lay
Let your breathing ease
While I rub your back, sleepy man
You're all done with the run of the race...for today
You've got plenty of running to face
Come tomorrow
I'm right here, always near
Always lovin' my dear, sleepy man
Not a girl I know
Has a better deal
Than my life with you, sleepy man
If I let it show
How you make me feel
We'll be up 'til 2, sleepy man
You're all done with the run of the race...for today
You've got plenty of running to face
Come tomorrow
I'm right here, always near
Always lovin' my dear, sleepy man
I'm right here, always near
And I love you, my dear sleepy man"

~ Now, there's a love song if I ever heard one.

Keeping it down for posterity
2004-05-25 09:39:23 ET

The other day my boyfriend told me that I was a "precious commodity; his diamond in the coal". How do you not love a man with lines like that?

A gentle reminder
2004-05-21 09:27:54 ET

I'm fairly certain that at the posting of this blog there are more than a few people who need to comprehend the "hands off policy". What is mine is not yours to five finger discount. Please keep your hands off the goods. Thank you. ;o)

Don't Let the Bastards Grind You Down - Toasters

"Each day I wake up in this gray old town
Each day the system tries to bring me down
With a minimum wage in the factory
I'm slaving in the Twentieth Century
And the whole damn world is gangin up
to bring me to my knees

And now the neighbors make it loud and clear
That they want no ravers moving in around here
I won't play ball, won't do as I'm told
I'd rather be a square peg in a round hole

Don't let the bastards grind you down
Don't let them grind you down
Don't let the bastards grind you down
Don't let them grind you down

I'm living in a world where I don't really fit
Every day walking through the same old shit
I'm gonna get my gun, gonna get prepared
I'm not impressed and I'm not scared

Don't let the bastards grind you down
Don't let them grind you down
Don't let the bastards grind you down
Don't let them grind you down

Me say...

Ah we livin in da ghetto
On da streets of dis town a man
You stand up firm
Gotta stand up strong
Listen ghetto youth
Dis how we keep in da land

Don't let the bastards grind you down
Don't let them grind you down
Don't let the bastards grind you down
Don't let them grind you down

Don't let the bastards grind you down
Don't let them grind you down
Don't let the bastards grind you down
Don't let them grind you down"

I quit
2004-05-19 11:29:38 ET

G'ever have one of those days, when it all becomes clearer than crystal? When the cloud that wraps itself around you just lifts and all of a sudden it all makes sense? I've had the moment of reckoning...

My indian name should be princess stupid girl. Sometimes I just don't know why I bother trying. I don't even have any words for how completely used up I feel. Like a dishrag. Or worse, a dirty dishrag!! And I let it happen, that's the really comical part. Some people just never learn. Like me for example. I get burned and just stand there with my hand on the proverbial hot stove, yelling like someone is actually going to hear me. I'm such an idiot sometimes it's hard to believe I actually thrive in this world.

"This is not a tragedy. A tragedy is three men trapped in a mine or police dogs used in Birmingham...Monks burning themselves in protest."

How a little news can change the day
2004-05-12 09:27:59 ET

So the best thing to happen to me all day was the following IM left me by my man.

well, just so you know...
the interview went fantastic. They're looking for a "chief video editor," to handle the post-production process, and he was really impressed by me, and he said he is definately going to call me in for some free-lance work before he makes his decision.
P.S. he also said that the Resume was the best-looking one to cross his desk.;-)

Sometimes I get to so excited I can barely contain myself.

T-shirt weather
2004-05-10 09:34:50 ET

Today I played soccer on a cement parking lot, in 2 1/2 inch heels, pantyhose and a skirt. Why? Becuase my kids asked me to.

Can you be totally apathetic and completly consumed all at once? Is that even like possible?

Fairytale of New York - No Use For A Name

"It was Christmas Eve babe
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me, won't see another one
And then he sang a song
The Rare Old Mountain Dew
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you
Got on a lucky one
Came in eighteen to one
I've got a feeling
This year's for me and you
So happy Christmas
I love you baby
I can see a better time
When all our dreams come true

They've got cars big as bars
They've got rivers of gold
But the wind goes right through you
It's no place for the old
When you first took my hand
On a cold Christmas Eve
You promised me
Broadway was waiting for me

You were handsome
You were pretty
Queen of New York City
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
Sinatra was swinging,
All the drunks they were singing
We kissed on a corner
Then danced through the night

The boys of the NYPD choir
Were singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day

You're a bum
You're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it's our last

I could have been someone
Well so could anyone
You took my dreams from me
When I first found you
I kept them with me babe
I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone
I've built my dreams around you"

"It's amazing the things you notice. Like the corner of his collar that was coming undone, like he was from a poor family and couldn't afford new shirts. That's all I could see. The whole world was that unraveled piece of fabric. It's such a lie that you should do what's in your heart. If we all did what was in our hearts, the world would come to a halt."

1 comment

And the funny keeps coming
2004-05-06 09:30:02 ET

Why do I keep attracting stalker-type-scary men? Do I have a sign on my forehead that says "if you're deranged I'm the one for you"? This is just too much. I think I might hide under my bed for a week or so, maybe he'll forget about me by then. Probably not, but I can hope can't I? **sigh**

2004-05-05 10:34:01 ET

Totally - Screeching Weasel

"Totally cool that your hair is blue
I totally drool when I think about you
Totally neat totally sweet
Totally knocked me off my feet
Totally rad but it's too bad
You're not aware of all my plans
I totally lust when I see you around
The Belmont bus takes me right by your house
Totally neat totally sweet
Totally knocked me off my feet
Totally lame that you won't say
You'll hang out with me every day
I totally love everything about you"

Thinking about kids
2004-05-04 09:46:39 ET

Today was park day with the kids. It was really a very nice day. The sun was shining, there was a nice breeze. I'm tired as all get out, but it's a good kind of tired. It was one of those days that reminds you why you're doing what you're doing in the first place. The kind of day where the scent of car air fresheners is ten times stronger because of the heat and the din of kids playing in the park is never as loud as the sound of peaceful contentment that is surrounding the whole ordeal. I felt something break inside of me today, while spending the day with my students. Something deep inside my heart just tore apart. A deep unfillable wilderness has taken it's place. I suppose what I felt is the reserve slipping away. That question that every girl eventually asks. Do I want kids of my own? Can I do this every day for the rest of my life, even when I'm tired and worn and cranky as hell. I suppose the answer is that I do and I can. But now that the rerserve has left me, there's just an empty place waiting to be filled up with grins, and frogs and skinned knees. Prehaps, I'm feeling this before my time, or maybe my "biological clock" (whatever that is) is just ticking louder than normal today. I don't know. But I know that I feel good and that I'm not worried or scared, just accepting and anticipating. I know it won't be for a while yet; Not today, or tomorrow or next month or year. But I'm looking forward to the day that someone calls me Mommy, no matter how far away it may be.

The House Where Nobody Lives - Tom Waits

"There's a house on my block
That's abandoned and cold
Folks moved out of it a
Long time ago
And they took all their things
And they never came back
Looks like it's haunted
With the windows all cracked
And everyone call it
The house, the house where
Nobody lives

Once it held laughter
Once it held dreams
Did they throw it away
Did they know what it means
Did someone's heart break
Or did someone do somebody wrong?

Well the paint was all cracked
It was peeled off of the wood
Papers were stacked on the porch
Where I stood
And the weeds had grown up
Just as high as the door
There were birds in the chimney
And an old chest of drawers
Looks like no one will ever
Come back to the
House were nobody lives

Once it held laughter
Once it held dreams
Did they throw it away
Did they know what it means
Did someone's heart break
Or did someone do someone wrong?
So if you find someone
Someone to have, someone to hold
Don't trade it for silver
Don't trade it for gold
I have all of life's treasures
And they are fine and they are good
They remind me that houses
Are just made of wood
What makes a house grand
Ain't the roof or the doors
If there's love in a house
It's a palace for sure
Without love...
It ain't nothin but a house
A house where nobody lives
Without love it ain't nothin
But a house, a house where
Nobody lives."

1 comment

Thoughts, but quick ones.
2004-05-03 10:40:35 ET

I just added some new pics. today. Enjoy them. The cat seems to acclimating well. Julie emailed me today. I don't know quite what to do with myself. It's been a million years since I heard from her and I was so happy to see that email sitting there. I made out fairly well at the record shop on Saturday and elsewhere as it were. Perhaps later I can tell you what I got. Naw, I'll tell you now. I picked up: Tom Waits "Small Change", Simon and Garfunkel "Bookends", Simon and Garfunkel "Greatest Hits" (mneh) and I passed up a Ramones record that I really, really should have bought. I also purchased a John Denver Record to replace one I beat to shit. The guy gave it to be for a buck. Not that it was worth much more than that to begin with. My boyfriend, thought he would be funny and he got me a "Stray Cats" LP. :o) Alright, gotta run. Buh byes for now! :o)

2004-04-30 11:39:27 ET

It's finally Friday! I can hardly wait to get moving this weekend. I'm going to pick up my best friend's cat and transport her to my boyfriend's house. He's going to be keeping her for a while. What a guy! (Better put on my attention getting face. He's wanted a cat of his own for-ev-er!)
Oh and so the best (well, I suppose that depends on your state of mind) thing happened the other day. I went into my 2nd job that I've been at for about a million years. And, as I'm getting ready to leave for the night, my new boss tells me she wants to talk to me. So, I'm like "whatever." Turns out she wants to reprimand me for "mouthing off" to her on a previous shift, and she wrote me up! Normally, this would upset me. I mean is it my fault that no one appreciates my humor? But, this did not bother me this particular evening. Why? Becuase the entire time she's trying to exert her power over me she's having a nervous fit, getting all sweaty, voice shaking, etc. And, I'm thinking. "Yeeesss! I still got it! I have not lost the mojo!" I smiled all the way home. I'm such a dork sometimes. **wry smile**

Rude & Reckless (Edit) - The Slackers

"I asked my father for some advice
He answered quickly, he didn't think twice
He said a thinkin' man don't do too much
Know what your doing and do as you must
And learn to be rude and reckless
Don't make a fuss
You have to be rude and reckless
Do as you must
You have to be hard and callous
In your heart and your hand
Learn to be rude and reckless...

You have to be hard and callous
You have to be strong
You have to rude and reckless
Don't be all wrong
You have to be a no hesitation
Don't think too much...

You have to be rude and reckless
It's part of the plan
You have to be rude and reckless
Do right by your fellow man
There should be no political correctness
You have to drive fast
You have to be strong
You have to be strong
You have to be rude and reckless..."

2004-04-30 09:34:02 ET

I'm fairly certain that if I ever decide to become a stripper this will be my theme song.

New Coat of Paint - Tom Waits

"Let's put a new coat of paint on this lonesome old town
Set 'em up, we'll be knockin' em down.
You wear a dress, baby, and I'll wear a tie.
We'll laugh at that old bloodshot moon in that burgundy sky

All your scribbled lovedreams, are lost or thrown away,
Here amidst the shuffle of an overflowing day
Our love needs a transfusion so let's shoot it full of wine
Fishin' for a good time starts with throwin'in your line."

1 comment

A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend
2004-04-29 10:45:21 ET

"Keep eye contact. Funny is good, but don't be glib. And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun."

I'm afraid lately of so many things and I know that it's manifesting itself in my relationship. My poor boyfriend; He's so good to me and I just keep flaking out...
We've pretty much always been straight with one another. Things are just all piling up lately, with school being almost over for the year and Jen leaving for Germany today...The future seems so damn far away and I'm busting my ass to get there and I can't help but wonder why. Why am I working this all alone? My school loan is so close to paid off, My car is getting there. What the hell is it that I'm running so fast toward anyway? It's not like anyone is going to be there waiting when I get there. And I'm thinking three years is a damn long time and waiting around for other people to catch up to my frantic running-toward-my-destiny pace is going to be even longer. And even then, are we going to make it? Make the cut? Can we?
This show business has me pissed off too. The man wants to go see the Bouncing Souls next Friday. I want him to be able to go, but he doesn't want to spend the money because he's trying to save to go to May's (I think they are in May) HepCat shows. I wish that he had the money to go to both. But then, I wish a lot of things...

Under A Telephone Pole - Carl Sandburg

"I am a copper wire slung in the air,
Slim against the sun I make not even a clear line of shadow.
Night and day I keep singing--humming and thrumming:
It is love and war and money; it is the fighting and the
tears, the work and want,
Death and laughter of men and women passing through
me, carrier of your speech,
In the rain and the wet dripping, in the dawn and the
shine drying,
A copper wire."


2004-04-28 09:42:25 ET

Words & Music: Maria Parkinson

As I kneel before you,
As I bow my head in prayer,
Take this day, make it yours
and fill me with your love.

All I have I give you,
Every dream and wish are yours,
Mother of Christ,
Mother of mine, present them to my Lord.

As I kneel before you,
And I see your smiling face,
Ev'ry thought, ev'ry word
Is lost in your embrace.

Ave Maria,
Gratia plena,
Dominus tecum,
Benedicta tu.

It'll probably be in the last place I look . . .duh.
2004-04-26 10:22:21 ET

A Continuous Fragment of Thoughts...

1.) Gya'ever look and look for something but it appears to be nowhere to be found? I'm so frustrated. All I want is one set of stinking guitar tabs. Just one set. I don't think they exist. Seriously. Grrr.

B.) It's raining today and my knee is still messed up from our romp through the mountains on Saturday. I suppose though since the Less Than Jake show was "free" it was worth the trouble. It was a decent show, I was happy with it anyway.

III.) On another note, my best friend is leaving me in about 3 days. **sigh** She'll be moving to Germany to live with her hubby. I'm still adjusting.

d.) It's been a long day at school. Thank Heaven, I don't have any work tonight.

5.) I'm kinda sedate actually. Just sort of drifting through the day as if I'm not really in my body. It's weird.

Final Thoughts: I never thought I would do this. It's strange how we change for the people we love. This was a place (almost literally) that I never expected to end up. At one point, I believe I vowed (out loud) that it would never happen. Still, it's a fun place to be and I'm not complaining. It suits me better than any other skin I've ever been in. And, seems to be a natural extension of my personality anyway.

Additional ramdomness: I should go on a diet.

Additional Books: #13 on the best reads must, must, must be "Blankets" by Craig Thompson. A bit predictable, a bit emotional, but a hit nonetheless. Read about it here:

Blankets Graphic Novel

"Itís raining in Baltimore, baby
But everything else is the same...
Thereís things I remember and things I forget
I miss you I guess that I should
Three thousand five hundred miles away
But what would you change if you could?" - Counting Crows (I refuse to apologize)

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder,
but honey you dont have to wander
to make me say those 3 words." - The Slackers

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