dumbass

2003-11-24 19:31:25 ET im such an idiot... my cat was hideing from my brother cause my bro scares my cat anyways i grabbed my cat and was trying to get him away from eric so i started running with the cat in my arms well i was about to run through the kitchen when i slid on the carpet by the front door and smacked my head against the doorway and i kept running until i got light headed and i thought i was gonna pass out so i sat down on the floor where i was and started rubbing my head and my brother felt bad and he got me a bag of ice that was nice of him and then the cat got a way but man do i feel like a dumbass for that shit but holy shit it hurt so bad it still hurts 7 comments

carmalita

2003-11-20 18:26:24 ET I hear mariachi static on my radio And the tubes, they glow in the dark And I'm there with you and it's a not-a And I'm here in echo park Carmelita, hold me tighter I think I'm sinking down And I'm all strung out on heroin On the outskirts of town Well I pawned my Smith and Wesson And I went to meet my man He hangs out down on ElDorado Street At the county chicken stand Carmelita, hold me tighter I think I'm sinking down And I'm all strung out on heroin On the outskirts of town Well I'm sitting here playing Russian Roulette With my pearle handled gun The county won't give me any more Methadone And they cut off your welfare check Carmelita, hold me tighter I think I'm sinking down And I'm all strung out on heroin On the outskirts of town Carmelita, hold me tighter I think I'm sinking down And I'm all strung out on heroin On the outskirts of town

MY STORY

2003-11-19 17:32:02 ET Once there was a little kid named Benefit Walked around town with a frown, face down, lookin bent Had problems inside, his little sister just died Keep your head up little man, all you got is your pride He said 'the world doesn't want me, and neither does my daddy He'd rather get drunk and puff blunts then have a family' That's real, and ain't nothing realer then that The world is much colder then the steal of a gat But yet he moved on, he fought to stay strong In this cold world, to stay warm he put a jacket on Made of 100 percent pain The label said the only way to wash it was to stand on the rain But he still was cold, the other kids were old All he really wanted in life was Jordan's and gold Then he'd be set, getting fine girls in berrets See him with a boom box and fat boys cassettes If he got into a fight, he'd throw down But he's a little skinny kid, about 70 pounds And he had a loud mouth so nobody stepped to him But I guess if they would've, well I guess that he'd do 'em But it didn't get to that, this little aristocrat Tryin to live phat, smashing mail boxes with bats Runnin wild through the streets, his mouth would make peace Used to play football in mud with baseball cleats That's the life in my memory inbedded in my brain As he started growing, things started to change Who has the right to know? My life's a standing flow Who can say, what's right or wrong for people? As Benefit got older he started to realize Everybody's smile was just jealousy in disguise If he turned his back, how is that, a knife would be in it Draw my face-to-face in any place, no one would begin it If they knew, what this kid had been through Nothing nice, ?fest? sacrifice off of lifes menu But things lately, were starting to get crazy And if they stuck around maybe, his mom would lose a baby So they broke out, headed down south on route This kid was still actin wild, thought he was tough no doubt Dealt a difficult hand, but he had to play with it Emotionally disturbed when the kid never quit it Immediately took charge when in his new neighborhood Makes me laugh thinkin when he made forts from wood And if anybody touched 'em, then that's the razz If anybody frontin, to the creak they get cashed In school, everybody sayin 'who's the new kid?' 'I heard he's from Chicago, last week know what he did Such and such,' that's how rumors get started But at lunch acting all retarded eatin Capt'n Crunch Thought he was funny, little dummy makin a scene Lookin happy on the outside, but inside mean Lotta anger built up, from things in the past Such an unreal life, reality hard to grasp That's the life in my memory inbedded in my brain As he started growin, things started to change Who has the right to know? My life's a steady flow. Who can say, what's right or wrong for people? He moved again, now his moves totaled thirteen times Started gettin serious, writin serious rhymes He began workin, hustling the company Pockets full of cash, now every day a shopping spree Got away with it, finally got caught and ?bullshitted? They didn't fire 'em, instead the job he quitted His life is slowed down, different then in the beginning Only worse, cause little bitches had him sinning Fell in love one time, maybe twice, who knows Only problem was the girls weren't nice, but hoes It was a big mistake, messed up the kinds mindstate The trade? his best-friends for nice ass and a date Wait, what's goin on here? the girls left him Now he's scarred from left ear to right ear That's his whole brain, now his lights are gettin dim Cause what he did to his best friends, happened to him Now he cares about nothin, feeling sick everyday Thank God, eventually the pain went away Now he's grown mad, then he ever has been Up late at night at home, his only friend is his pen Writin angry to get out frustration out through poetry Treating girls the exact opposite of noblely The struggle continues on, documented in every song Made it this far, confident he'll live long That's the life in my memory, inbedded in my brain And it's true as he grew, things did change Who has the right to know? My life's a steady flow Who can say, what's right or wrong for people? 3 comments

bonding with little buddy

2003-11-19 17:09:26 ET man last night was cool like i asked my mom if i could go running with my friend ryan (little buddy) and she was being a huge bitch and said no and shit but like she went out to dinner so i bounced out and went running with him anyways and it was hella chill cause my little buddys fuckin awesome hes hella chill i swear if he wasnt younger i would hella go out with him but im done with younger guys i need me an older guy but anyways it was hella chill we llike walked the track and just talked for like 2hrs or something maybe less i dont remember but it was all chill hes fucking awesome i just had to add that again *shit i just noticed i say chill a lot

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