2009-07-18 21:41:08 ET

i just won the lottery. $50 million dollars. i'll give half to the person who cuts off andreaurbanfox's hands, rendering her unable to type any more self-serving snooze inducing blogs.

2009-07-17 15:58:31 ET

what a lovely evening it is here in iowa. it's slowly getting darker, it's a breezy 70 degrees out, and i can hear some good parenting such as "GET YOUR ASS DOWN NOW. FUCKING LISTEN TO ME." going on in the playground below through my open window. ahhhh, this is the life.

2009-07-09 19:23:17 ET

arizona tea is pretty much the best thing ever.

2009-07-08 10:11:38 ET

today feels like a john hughes marathon kinda day.

2009-06-28 11:52:50 ET

ok so im trying to get in the mood for some sexings and im viewing bad porn clips on this site because im too lazy to find anything good, and this one is starting out with this guy reading the sports section on the toilet, yelling through the door, "look, sweetheart, i take a crap twice a week. this is the first one of the week. lemme alone."

i am soooo turned on.
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