its cold....    2004-09-06 14:18:20 ET
its cold, and its been raining. and i got this kick ass star bic lighter.....i dig it..


 breaking down, hardcore.......    2004-08-25 23:19:27 ET
I feel so bad, i really do. my best friends ex boyfriend just came 2 me for 3 and half hours, and broke down and cryed. i feel so ba for him. he told me everything that happend, and how much he loved amber...bryan is such a good person but amber is making it out that he was tha asshole, he was tha psyco,that he was tha nutcase. whe she is the two faced lil whore, shes acting like a slut. as much as i love amber 2 death she is. i dont understand it. and im not feeling tha least bit bad about writing this.

She talked shit about me all tha time,and now i find out after like 3 years, NOW TELL ME HOW FUCKED UP THAT IS! I was tha one who payed 2 get her fuckin keys outta her car, when we were 3 hours away from home, in another town, well tha city actually,i was tha one who never said anything bad about her, i was tha one who always stuck up for her, i was the one who always did sumthing 4 her, I WAS THA ONE WHO GOT TAKEIN FOR A FUCKIN RIDE! she used me, and i feel like shit b/c of it. i have known this girl alllllllll my life, and ive done nothing but good for her and to her. and im tha one who gets fucked in the end. now i know how bryan feels.

i just cant believe how bad she treated her, and yes im not taking sideds but he cheated and so did she, but they are both my friends, but she really did mentally fucked him up and its just so hard for me to take all this in, and just not be so fuckin pissed off at her. she is a slut, shes acting so bad.....i just wish she would get her shit 2gether. he was gonna marry her. he was gonna go into tha army, by her a new mustang, paint it orange, and pay for her schooling, 3000$ for a NICE NICE NICE dimond ring, Bryan is so in love with amber, and she dosnt relize it. but shes not gonna get back with him.

he cryed, in front of me. ive only see this child cry like 2 other times, and it wasnt b/c of her. it was other things.i know bryan cheated on amber more than 5 times, but like she shouldnt say "oh i wish u were dead." or "you should come over and stay with me for a few days b/c i still care about you." shes such a hypocrit. makes me CRAZY! and that bitch still owes me like 50 bucks, i wouldnt care if it was like 5 or 10, but 50 hell yeah i want that shit back! damn it! i dont know. she needs 2 stop lying to every one, and tell the truth. i wish she would tell me the truth. and i just hope bryan dosnt do anything stupid....lets hope....and he thanked me...i felt so good when he said "Thank you." i just felt so good.

i just wish things were diffrent... i just hope i never have to break down like that for any one. bryan called his sister and his brother,and his mother and told them that he did hit her, and he did treat her like shit...but its changed, he knows tha truth, and i dont wanna feel asif i have lost ambers trust in me, i was just telling the truth. its just so sad when i have 2 see my friends like this. its sad. and he feels asif hes let every one down. i can understand what hes feeling. i just hope everything will be okay.....

 so ok yeah..........    2004-08-23 18:59:24 ET
im so bored, nothing seems 2 make me happy any more, and 4 those who know me, thats very sad. i do alot of stuff i suppose, but its just so....blah...very blah at that. i just feel so numb, and so unimportant. but thats besides the thing... i just need 2 look at tha brighter side of things i suppose. its like a close friend said 2 me, and im not gonna quote it, cuz i dont really remember what all she said, *i was prolly high, or drunk, and thats how we stayed* sumthing matter what u do, ill always love u 4 who u r, and ur always gonna b my best friend....some thing along tha lines of that so its all good......i miss tha good old days.........:(
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