2005-09-29 11:35:29 ET
I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!
6 comments

 why?.....    2005-09-20 18:02:20 ET
Im so scared...i really am, im so afraid to be alone, with out any one there with me....im in a place right now that i dont need to be in,i wish it would all just fucking go away. im not perfect, im not number fuckin one, im not a fuckin 4.0 gps, i took my fucking ged, i went to beauty school and now im not to damn sure i even WANT TO DO IT! im being pressured by my family who thinks im not only the black sleep of the family but also a failure...wants me to do everything knowing i cant. i dont have a licence, i have no money, no job, nothing i have nothing to keep me up. Im alone...thats so sad..its like when ur sitting in a room and all u see is black..yeah thats how im feeling.even to repress my anger a little bit i have to pull my hair..by the time im fuckin 20 i wont have ne hair. I smoke.....i have tattoos, i do drugs....im fat....i swear i have to fucking repeat my self to eveybody...i hate that.

Every one wants me to be the one that they can come to and i just listen to them bitch about their probmlems..but yet when i have something to say....i get nothing....silence. im to emotional..i cry all the time..i love having my makeup run down my face...i am done. im so done. I dont want to give up i dont, but what other option do i have. none. I feel as if me telling ppl this they would understand...but all i fucking do is bitch about the same fucking thing....but i dont fucking know any more...why dose it have to be so bad all the time.... Im tired of the lies every person i come in to contact with lies to me....I dont lie I have no reason to..i dont know......

I think im gonna go watch adult swim.......cartoons make me happy.....sometimes... *sighs*

Thank you..
2 comments

 yeah i took it....so WHAT!    2005-09-19 13:14:07 ET
This has been Edited Big time.

name = cant tell u
piercings = 3 in right,2 in left *ears* labret, tongue, eye brow, down stairs.
tattoos = 3, tribal on back, butterfly on left shoulder, nautical star on chest
height = 5'7
shoe size = 9 1/2 in women
hair color = brown
siblings = none
[DO...]
you have a crush on someone = maybe
you wish you could live somewhere else = Yes
you believe in online dating= sure why not
you want more tattoos = YES!
you like cleaning = when im BORED!
you write in cursive or print = both.....at the same time..
[FOR OR AGAINST...]
long distance relationships= depends
using someone = i have but never again
suicide = nope
killing people = sure why not. LOL
smoking = sure do!
driving drunk = nope
gay/lesbian relationships = Who cares?
[WHAT...]
shampoo do you use = im a hair stylest....i dont use cheap shit!
shoes do you wear = flip flops, vans, etnies
are you scared of = People
[NUMBER...
of times I have been in love? = like 4 times
of times I have had my heart broken? = everytime
of hearts I have broken? = never done it
[FAVORITE...]
Actor/actress: ummmmmm Johnny Depp
Candy:Any type !! I love Candy
Cartoon: The Simpsons
Cereal: anything..
Chewing gum: i dont know
Color(s): PINK!!!!! and black
Day of week: cant say
Least fave day: monday
Flower: The Lotus
Jelly flavor: strawberry
Summer/Winter: summer

|| Person who last.. ||
Slept in a bed with: david
Saw you cry: the mirror
Made you cry: every one
You went to the movies with: my cousin
Yelled at you: my self
Sent you an email: shit
|| Have you ever.. ||
Said "I love you" and meant it?: yes
Gone out in public in your pajamas: yes
Kept a secret from everyone: sure have
Cried during a movie: yes
Planned your week based on the TV: i have a few times
Been on stage: yes
Been to New York: yeah
Been to California: nope
Hawaii: no
China: no
Canada: no
Europe: yes
Asia: no
South: south where?
Australia: no
Wished you were another gender: i like being a chic.
|| Friendship/Love ||
Do you believe in love at first sight?: Ive been known to
Do you want children one day & if so, how many?: 2 girl and a boy or twins
|| You ||
Nickname(s): mo, pookie..
Initials: Mam
How old do you look?: 20 something
How old do you act?: 12....on a good day!
Glasses/Contacts: Both
Braces: nope
Do you have any pets?: hampster...and a dog
You get embarrassed: yeah
What makes you happy?:guys, money, stuff....
What upsets you?: mmmmmmmmmmm everything...

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