no way.... IT updates too!!!
2003-05-03 18:50:00 ET

well what can i say? not much i guess. and i think thats what bugs me.
i feel like i got a huge ball of twine building up inside my stomach, and i cant make it go away.
i look at people with skills and abilities and i become venom green. i wish i could paint, make music, write, design, fix cars, cook, anything that will make me feel the passion of creation. some one with an open outlet in the form of some art or skill cant understand that craving. the frustration. what it is to see an amazing painting inside your head without being able to make a single straight line on paper; to hear music in your brain without being able to play it, not even mention sing it; to have a concept in your thoughts without finding the words for it.
i feel things inside me like a big bundle, that turns grey as it being held in. like a sponge, absorbing in but nothing ever goes out. nothing i do gives me bliss.
i heard this song in the radio today, and i found myself kind of amused (in a bitter way) by its words. i guess it just popped in the right moment: (free translation from hebrew)
"something inside has been dead for years/ and the noise inside my head/ we cant catch our breath/ lots of guilt/ lots of agony/ and a pit of emptiness." just felt right to the mood.

oh yeah, the weekend was fun blah blah blah blah.....

=ears: placebo - hold on to your I.Q =

2003-05-03 18:59:52 ET

hehehe... i know that song... Asaf Amdorski, right? it's a good song...
i know how you feel, i know how frustrated it can get, when you can't draw or creat this amazing image in your head... it doesn't matter how talented you are, we all get like that. just keep trying, if you can't draw, try photography, try playing around with photoshop, just have fun with it...
good luck! :)

2003-05-03 19:09:20 ET

its more then that. forget it... this was an anti-artists entry... or something like that :\

and yes... its amdorsky. cliche, but hits the spot.

2003-05-03 19:22:40 ET

art, shmart, it's not about that. you missed my point. try anyways, even if you feel like you can't. i know someone who had amazing ideas and he was a very creative person but lacked the talent. he was dyslexic, couldn't draw a straight line, but he went to school, with all of his crazy ideas, and he studied really hard. it's not all about talent, you know. you can have talent, but it's mostly something that you develop.

2003-05-03 20:52:33 ET

anti-artists entry? but...but....
oh wait, i'm not ;)

all i have to say is that some people who can draw\make music\etc. don't always have good ideas, or being creative enough, or the likes. it doesn't matter if you think what you do isn't "good" or "pretty" enough in artsy standarts, it all depends if it matters to you. i.e. noise music and ;)

then again, why am i writing this when i can talk to you in person. damn internet.

2003-05-04 00:15:00 ET

i actually do know how you feel....and well some things that are outlets for creative talent simply take alot of time, practice, and development...but its definately worth it

2003-05-04 03:47:51 ET

but what happens once you spent the time and the effort and its still no good? what happens when you did it for too many times and still nothing that pleases YOU comes out?
i'm just scared to death of waking up one day and finding out that the only thing i know how to do is my job.

2003-05-04 05:38:33 ET

you know, i think it was that idiot from green day that said to an MTV interview:if practice makes perfect, and nobodys perfect, than why practice. anyway, he's that idiot from greenday so i wouldn't listen to him.

anyway,maybe you should look for something you like which is out of the usual standarts...or something.

2003-05-05 00:03:13 ET

and eat cheese...cheese = inspiration

2003-05-05 04:30:33 ET

Yea, Turbo is on the right track with thems ideas ;)
Cheer up, senor :)

  Return to rubber ducky mayhem's page