2003-12-12 21:46:56 ET

I am having a crazy night...

I need a hug, or atleast someone to make out with:)

I went out with my exgirlfriend tonight. We had a stellar time. Went to dinner. We went and met my lil sister and some friends at a bar. We were there and because my younger sister and my exgf share some of the same friends it turned out awkward. My ex during dinner was soooooooooo touchy feely blah blah. It was nice and familiar. Then one of her friends brought some dude that obviously knew my ex. They must have gotten together or somthing I don't know. Everything just turned real weird.
The night was so nice until...

I have too much pride to be the one who does not know the inside joke. I left. I don't need to be toy'd with. My feelings get all torqued. I don't even know why I set myself up for this shit. I must love self punishment. I think I could have stayed and prolly took her home tonight. Honestly! But I don't play games... I feel above that. I AM lonely, but not enough to tear myself down. I think I did the right thing by leaving...

but fuck.......

I keep getting into situations where I could solve some of my lonly issues if I was to bend my morals. But then who would I be? Cheap? Fuck!


My guitar got knocked over, and chipped:(

It got knocked out of tune... WAY OUT!!! :(

That REALLY upsets me...

Like I let a freind down.

Like Im irresponsible.


I have worked myself silly almost. I am gonna buy myself a cooper mini for a kinda your doing good gift next month. I am totally focusing on improving myself as a human and to stay busy enough not to get all fogged up with emotions...

I don't do depression. I am not good at it. AT ALL!

So I keep myself completely busy. Atleast its productive. But I just want a fuckin hug from someone I respect. Thats way too fuckin hard to find right now.

I used the word fuck alot... sorry

Well, he's off to his Mom's... again.
2003-12-03 03:19:14 ET

Goodmorning everyone:)

My son is getting so big. He is off to stay with his flakey ass Mom. She ofcourse dissed me for Thanksgiving. I ofcourse stayed home and ate hotdogs and drank the traditional 40ozers of malt liquer (just like the pilgrims did).

I took that this morning... YOU GOTTA LUV THE CHUCKS! :)

Also, a lil late but here is some dune pics from my Dumont trip.

My buddy Gibson and I...

I already miss my boy. Working to much to get in trouble though...

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