2005-09-12 19:15:47 ET

Listening to Dashboard and Further Seems Forever (virtually the same band) always make me feel super nostalgic.

Sometimes, I miss Barlow. I miss being the misfit with funny hair and chains that everyone was afraid of. I miss making a mockery of myself just to get some stupid attention. Now I feel like it is my responsibility to be clean cut, respectable and a role model or a figure of maturity.

I miss being someone's heart throb. I miss the fact that someone was (sometimes a little too) infatuated with me. Don't get me wrong..I would never give up what I have with David...but I don't think I'm his "one and only" and that tears me up inside.

I miss staying out late, walking along the back streets of downtown Portland, occasionally vandalizing something just because it made us feel like we did something worth noticing.

I miss being slightly over weight. I miss my fishnets. I miss my torn up, written on converse. I miss my heavy, cat-eye eyeliner. I miss my black rimmed glasses. I miss my leopard print sweaters that everyone that was hideous but me. I miss my curly dark red hair. I occasionally miss having a large, jiggly butt...but not often ('cause I had no boobs...).

I miss being ok with the fact that I was an "emo kid"...and actually being proud of it.

2005-09-12 19:15:25 ET

Being in love sucks...

I miss him a lot. He's been gone for 10 minutes and my heart aches.

I think I'm a little angry. I don't mean to be angry just happens. I'm not jealous, I'm not hurt..just a little angry.

I've got fuckin' homework to do...piss off.

2005-09-10 07:54:26 ET

He's got MY vote...

2005-09-08 19:09:13 ET

Brad is SO my new best friend. Teh loves, man. Teh loves.

2005-09-08 17:05:49 ET

grr! i'm slightly agravated.

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