| 2002-06-14 01:03:58 ET |
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stoned out of my mind, listening to pink floyd thinking back way back, to before i was me back, before i was apart of this world, before i was anything, snap crackle and pop my mind jitter and jump, zip up those atoms and make them remember....what was this before it was me, apart of me before that incarnation before that incarnation... i want my mind to be a vcr and i need that last 500 years on VHS...there has to be a switch on my head somewhere to turn that on....there has to be a toggle...i can't be just me, i can't start here...i want need belong back further....
nothing comes to me, no toggles are found on my body or video footage of another past...i just sit here, mediating in a chair staring at a blank screen...nothing....no toggle or anything...
i refuse to believe there is no escape pod from this reality that will achieve escape velocity...i will find the one true rocket fuel....one day....i will....
and i'll call it "toggle"....and under the bottle cap "switch"...
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| 2002-06-10 13:02:20 ET |
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why is my monitor shaking...well not the monitor...the image on the monitor...weird....
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| *yawns* 2002-06-09 07:34:21 ET |
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friday, went to bars downtown, drank whiskey sours all night didn't get drunk, started at a club called lotus, its like wanna be japanese stylized, a close reproduction of what hollywood would make if they were trying to jock off japanese clubs...down to the large happy buddha by the wall water fall and so forth, i found it lacking any sort of austere design qualities and the rooms where set up horribly, no flow...oh well this is the midwest what am i expecting....
saturday, do photoshoot for band 3rd estate, almost run out of juice again, then later on go shopping for another battery...didn't find one....hate life...might have to order a 60 dollar replacement from fuji film....argh!!!
sunday, not sure yet aynies got to work again so i am yet again left to fend for myself, might watch the collectors edition of mallrats that i bought, or call my dad up and chill with him....he needs me to annoy him once a week or he would spend all his time in his studio writing music and never leave the house (aynie thinks i would do this with my art)....
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| bored 2002-06-04 00:18:02 ET |
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i'm bored and my vacation is almost over i took a week off and now i'm going to have to deal with work shit again...god they're all so assanine and boring, talking to the people i work with is like pulling teeth, if i hadn't went and gotten my license suspended i would quit and go back on contract security so i could work alone...seriously here's what i have to deal with...a small town girl who drives 2 hours from a farm to work in indy "the big city"...whatever that means, a retired army guy who did such heroic things as sign up to go to germany when everyone else went to vietnam, and now all he does is complain about eveything and seriously i mean everything, if you hate your job so much FUCKING QUIT....and rose a friend who hates work as much as i do....
i wish i could earn my money completely alone
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| Last night 2002-06-02 11:55:32 ET |
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i went to an event at Radio Radio a really nice club here in indy, to take pics of my grrl modeling so if your bored you can check out the shots at
http://www.transparentblack.com/ffest.htm
some bands played i think a lot of them were from philly... KBN, Comsicity, Cesium, and DUBOK.... not bad no tom waits but not bad...the rivet heads were out in drove's stamping on things with there big boots....
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