stupid mouse.2007-12-23 04:36:06 ET

Someone please remind me after the holidays to buy a new computer mouse. this one has been through hell and back, and is slowly dying.

X-mas spirit2007-12-22 20:50:51 ET

It took awhile, but I finally got it. Mainly because of the show Jason had friday that allowed me to buy x-mas gifts for everyone.
It was bad. Real bad this year. Wednesday nite we went up town to get some chinesee food to go. While we were sitting and waiting for out food we were talking and then we started talking about x-mas this year and how we couldnt buy for anyone. My eyes filled with tears and I had to go outside and sit in the car and cry it out. It sucked. I've always liked to give presents on x-mas, especially to the kids in my life. And the thought of other getting me something and me not being able to give in return really sucked.
But then friday rolled around and we found out he had a show. That night on the way back from the show, we stopped by Wal-mart and I did some x-mas shopping. Then today I finished it up. We even bought Wyatt a new toy as his gift.
Tomorrow we are opening gifts here at Jason's for some wierd reason. And then we exchange gifts with my family x-mas day.
Maybe the lack of x-mas spirit was due to the lack of x-mas traditions.I didn't get to watch one christmas show on TV, no x-mas music. And those awesome x-mas commercials were hardly shown this year, other than advertisments for x-mas sales.
But now I got the spirit, and its nice. Tomorrow the girls have a x-mas play at the church and then we are opening gifts here. X-mas eve I'm going to bake cookies with my mom and help her wrap some of her gifts, and prepare some food for x-mas day. Then x-mas day we will go to moms and exchange gifts eat dinner and somehow fit Jasons dads side of the family,family's dinner in. Which is huge and crazy and I always feel akward there.

As of tonite though, I'm lonely. Jason went to Camden which is like 3 hours away for a show and wont be back til tomorrow sometime. So I must sleep alone. At least my dog knows how to cuddle. lol.

blah..2007-12-20 11:34:54 ET

Well the holidays are sorta going to suck this year, since we are so po'. But its alright.
Can't wait to start school, not too much longer now.
Its pretty warm here this year. Last year it was so cold I thought it could've possibly snowed. But this year is been pretty good.
Next week I go to see if I can get this job at the movie store. It will really help out alot if I could get this job.

nut house bound...2007-12-17 10:12:44 ET

SO today I had my appointment with my psychiatrist and once again my meds have been upped. She told me about 2 other meds, and for me to check them out and do my own research on them to see which is best for me. She seems to think that upping this med is not going to work and next month we may have to add another med for anger issues. Jasons family is going to send me to the nut house, I swear. I hadnt had to take any meds since high school, other than addrall for ADHD. I was doing pretty good at controlling my depression and anger, but not now.
Its mainly the children. How they are disrespectful, loud and rude. People here let them do whatever they want, say whatever they want, and it doesnt matter who it is that they do or say this to. I get to be walked all over by a 6 year old every single fucking day. ITs ridiculous. My brother, cousins and never acted like that as a child. NEVER. And we never treated our grandparents the way these children treat Jason's mother. But hey, shes the one that lets them get away with it.
These children, with the way they are, has seriously made me consider not having any kids. I was always real good with kids, I mean hell, I was the town babysitter, and a good, fun one at that. But these kids, being around them every single fuckin day, has ruined alot for me.
I know what the solution to most of this is, but its just getting to that point. We need to get the trailer finished. Its just hard, when I cant find a job and the amount of shows Jason plays due to the time of year has gone down. It takes money for that shit. Wednesday I go to Movie Gallery to talk to the manger about a job, and I hope to get it, even if its only 16-20 hours per week, it will still help out alot. I start school Jan. 14th, and that will help out as well since the government is paying me to go to school. I figure I will go to school full time and work part-time and see how it works out. If I can work full time I will. We need it. Jason is about to go and look for a job as well.
Shitty shitty shitty.
Things with us as a couple are pretty good though, the only time we have agruements is when it comes to his family.
When I start school next month everything should, no WILL, slowly start to get better. Until then I just need to continue with my meds, and just continue to bite my tongue, grit my teeth, smile and bare it. Thats really all I can do.

waffles2007-12-16 00:44:47 ET

Met up with Kelly tonight, went to her house so she could get ready. Then Her, Rich, and myself went to Hog Heaven in Pawleys Island to see Jason and them play. After that we went to the Waffle house, where I did enjoy a scrumptious waffle. mmm..yum.
Its now 5:41am and we are still awake we just got in about 20 minutes ago.
So I got a few more x-mas cards ready and will send them all out monday or tuesday. Anyone interested PM your addy.

I start college the 14th of January!!! YAY!!

Well I think we are going to crawl into bed to cuddle it up for the rest of the night/day.

I gotta go to moms tomorrow/ to help put up x-mas tree and bake some cookies. blah. Then Jason, Kelly, and myself may go see Sweeny Todd at the theater!

Goodnite all!

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