today was a good day.. i didnt even have to use my AK....

death by design 2002-10-10 19:26:33 ET You Are a Sarariiman! Or "salaryman." Whatever. Treadmill off, treadmill on. Most of the sleep you get is on Tokyo's extensive subway system, since you are putting in 14 hour days. You're a workaholic who works hard for no overtime. And vacations? Forget about it. You spend most of your trip hunting around for gifts to bring back all of your coworkers. What's *Your* Japanese Subculture? heh.. how true... i had to take a stacker2 to get through the work day today. for those who don't know, stacker 2's are a caffiene/ephedrine chemical mixup pill that basically amounts to legal speed. i'm not even kidding, i worked the late shift and somewhere around 5 i knew i was not going to be able to deal with these stupid clients of mine without some legal crack. now seriously i know i have had a stacker problem for a while, ever since last summer when i started to pull the clubbing/work/2 hour commute circuit. my life is nowhere near as hectic but its still not easy to resist the temptation of taking things a bit further than a cup of coffee.. i'm not even kidding you can sleep for 2 hours (drunk) and take one of these things on a monday morning and feel like god i swear i wouldnt have done it unless absolutely necessary. but enough of self justification... i just found a new reason to live!!!!!!!!! now i have DSL at home... i dont even know where to begin... i can start with my flash website work again... hehe.. okay more of my absentmindedness got me in trouble today... i ended up losing my cell phone last night/this morning.. so i called it and some foreign guy picked it up.. i had to go to the boonies of upstate NY to pick it up and get it back.. i gave him $40 as a reward.. he looked like he needed it... i will just put that $40 in the bucket labeled 'stupid tax.' .. yes 'stupid tax'. its the cellphones i have to replace, the late charges i accrue... the cd's i break or lose etc... i'm constantly paying the stupid tax. but one good thing happened today... I OWNED IN AIR HOCKEY. i know it seems like such a small thing.. but its not.. if you are reading this (and you know who you are) you are presently suffering the agony of defeat... muahahaha so i had a talk with this boy i'm dating about me not being able to change... he's playing this devil's advocate everything-you-know-is-wrong position.. its a discussion that usually starts with my fashion sensibilities and ends up in music and lifestyle... (in his opinion i dress like a boy too much, and my short boy hair is redundant.) he's okay with the suit & tie daytime persona... because i rock the pulp fiction/reservoir dogs look.. so he said 'well just be glad you're not dating the typical predictable rivet boy...' keeping in mind that once i came to terms with the fact i was dating a prep everything made sense again... but then i pointed out... 'your problem is that you'redating the typical rivetboy...' god knows i act like one... i'm sloppy... i'm having a LAN party for my birthday @cybercafe (for those who dont know its when nerds get together and shoot each other on lots of computers)... i'm always asking 'where's my wallet...' i never return phone calls. did i mention that i'm sloppy? right now the pile of wires at my feet in front of my computer looks like a mountain of techno spaghetti... i consider tv dinner a home cooked meal... i'm becoming more and more a carbon copy of my dad, and i'm not even trying (especially being the sararriman and all that)... but i've said this before and i'll say it again... my life seems to be a constant quest to prove my 2 best friends in florida wrong... Tim, (overly left brained) who thinks that success in life can be achieved by saving your receipts for everything (okay maybe thats an exaggeration but you get my drift) and eric (overly right brained, if there is such a thing... who (in my moms words) thinks you have to be a fuck up to be cool.. now neither one of them is really that bad but still, the polarization exists and i'm caught in the middle.. determined to prove to everyone that you can be successful and creative at the same time... now if i could only stop losing my damned cell phone...

bio 2002-10-10 19:35:41 ET That entry is chock full of information! Where is CyberCafe? Is it near web2zone? :[

PenguinProdigy 2002-10-10 19:40:27 ET I need to dj on saturday (or whenever is available)! GAA! I'm not sure why I'm telling you, but GAAA!!!! I have a playlist set up. I love it, and HEY! BIO! what is going down? I have never talked to you. Maybe I should sometime.

death by design 2002-10-10 19:41:19 ET it IS web2zone.. i was going to announce it but i've been too lazy . and only because you said something *hands bio 25000 friend points)

Avant-Gardian-Angel 2002-10-10 19:43:59 ET I'm left handed , and i save my reciepts - so that's still right brained .... All I know is Manna from "Malice Mizer" MAKES A HOTTER looking girl than I do - and I've been told I make for a pretty cute girl. if your into that kind of thing..... some are some not.... it's fun none the less. man I gotta get back to building my analog modular audio synthesizer.

death by design 2002-10-10 19:45:36 ET or take digit's online courses in data bending...

Furax 2002-10-10 19:57:02 ET woo! congradulations on the internet hook-up! :-D you shouldn't settle for any lame boys anymore

strangeangel9 2002-10-10 20:02:30 ET I have total respect for a person who loses cellphones and pays "stupid tax". ;)

doktor242 2002-10-10 20:06:04 ET Amen to that, Furax. Hey, what ever happened to your plan of dropping the baggage and reducing to the essentials? I mean, it seems like this entry is a cut and paste of this entry and this entry. I know change comes gradually, but as your friend and mentor, I gotta call you on it, yanno?

doktor242 2002-10-10 20:37:46 ET >>he's playing this devil's advocate everything-you-know-is-wrong position.. its a discussion that usually starts with my fashion sensibilities and ends up in music and lifestyle... (in his opinion i dress like a boy too much, and my short boy hair is redundant.) he's okay with the suit & tie daytime persona... because i rock the pulp fiction/reservoir dogs look.. so he said 'well just be glad you're not dating the typical predictable rivet boy...' keeping in mind that once i came to terms with the fact i was dating a prep everything made sense again... but then i pointed out... 'your problem is that you'redating the typical rivetboy...' god knows i act like one... i'm sloppy... < < < <BR> Reading this again.... Where the hell does that loser get off telling you how you should look of dress or act? What an incredible waste of skin, I knew he was vapid, but this really is above and beyond. That guy is several quintillion carbon molecules that would do the world a lot more good in almost almost any other form you could think of. And having seen the way he dresses, he's got a *lot* of nerve telling you anything about fashion. For someone who's always talking about quality, you sure know how to look in the wrong place for it.

death by design 2002-10-11 02:22:54 ET *ducks fire from doktor 242* jesus D242 you really know how to get on someone's case... see if i ever post truthfully in my sknet journal again... >:p and what is wrong with dating someone outside of your usual aesthetic tastes etc? i think i am comfortable enough with myself and what i like to be able to handle someone trying to get me to 'broaden my horizons'. and thanks for pointing out the journal repeats... i had the gut feeling that i didnt have anything really significant to say at all on my sknet journal... i should always listen to my gut and i shouldnt have posted. or maybe i should have just posted the quiz results... those are safe for the whole family to read... <<<What an incredible waste of skin, I knew he was vapid, but this really is above and beyond. That guy is several quintillion carbon molecules that would do the world a lot more good in almost almost any other form you could think of.>>>> everyone is entitled to their opinion. we here at RivetCorp appreciate your truthfully filling out our survey. We also find it unfortunate that you are dissatisfied with our current line of products/services. Your answer will be noted and does make a difference. Thank you for helping us help you. (and dont think you can get away with this shit just by making a carbon molecule analogy... if i only wanted to be around people with exactly my opinion on everything i would hang out with you all the time!

bio 2002-10-11 06:24:34 ET We here at FascistCo believe that you are not titled to your own opinion. Assimilate; Ok?

doktor242 2002-10-11 09:12:17 ET Good thing I'm wearing my asbestos coat today. ;) >and what is wrong with dating someone outside of your usual aesthetic tastes etc? i think i am comfortable enough with myself and what i like to be able to handle someone trying to get me to 'broaden my horizons'. That's fine. Broadening one's horizons is one thing, Whereas forcing a change of aesthetic on someone is another. The problem comes when someone tries to change you into something you're not. I always thought that the point of dating someone was that you liked that person for who they are, not that you wanted to mold that person into someone else. If you want that, you should date someone with no persoality to begin with, so that it's easier to create something new from them. You already have plenty of personality, and there's no reason to change it. >and thanks for pointing out the journal repeats... i had the gut feeling that i didnt have anything really significant to say at all on my sknet journal... i should always listen to my gut and i shouldnt have posted. or maybe i should have just posted the quiz results... those are safe for the whole family to read... I'm not saying that it's not ok to repeat things in your journal... it's your journal, you're allowed to say whatever you like! Hell, half of my journal entries boil down to: "I'm working on music, I'm tired, I'm drinking Pepsi and i'm having girl trouble." There, I never have to post again! However, you've said in the past that these are changes you wish to make, and I said that I would help you. All I have tried to do here is remind you that you're falling back into a pattern you wanted to get out of. >(and dont think you can get away with this shit just by making a carbon molecule analogy... if i only wanted to be around people with exactly my opinion on everything i would hang out with you all the time! And you'd be happier, more productive, artistically fulfilled and know Reason inside and out. But you're still caught up in the things that I've left behind, and I can do nothing but accept that. Personally, I think you're wasting your time, just like when I was your age I was wasting mine, but you have to make your own mistakes; god knows I've made mine. Look, I don't share your opinion on EVERYTHING, if I did, we wouldn't be having this or our other occasional disagreements. What we share is an aesthetic, which in my mind is much more important that the flavor of the weak's foolish attempts to change you. Your entitled to do what you want... I'm entitled to remind you when you're betraying yourself. I think that's fair.

doktor242 2002-10-11 09:20:22 ET And, going back to your original post: >but i've said this before and i'll say it again... my life seems to be a constant quest to prove my 2 best friends in florida wrong... Tim, (overly left brained) who thinks that success in life can be achieved by saving your receipts for everything (okay maybe thats an exaggeration but you get my drift) and eric (overly right brained, if there is such a thing... who (in my moms words) thinks you have to be a fuck up to be cool.. now neither one of them is really that bad but still, the polarization exists and i'm caught in the middle.. determined to prove to everyone that you can be successful and creative at the same time... This is the most important part of that post, that i ignored the first time through because I was annoyed about the other shit. You're making a good observation here. There IS a middle ground in between these two places, but staying on it is like walking a tightrope. I've fallen on the fuckup side for YEARS at a time, and I'm only now learning to hold my balance. That's why I get mad at you, because I want you to walk the line with me, and sometimes I see you falling one way or another. Consider this my attempt to reach out to you. Take my hand. I will help you if I can.

Insomnia 2002-10-11 10:26:23 ET ::raises hand:: i know i know! tell the boy he is looking in the wrong arena for things to change. the reason you dress like a boy (justine influence aside), in my opinion, is because you are not comfortable enough with your own body to flaunt it. you know i am right on that one darling. so if the boy wants to change something, he should help you change that. *that* would be worth it. stupid fashion advice isn't.

doktor242 2002-10-11 10:33:38 ET That would be an awful lot to expect from someone who's probably not going to be around for the long haul. Those are the kind of issues a flavor of the weak can't tackle, know what i mean?

Insomnia 2002-10-11 10:46:36 ET they can try, or get the fuck out...

doktor242 2002-10-11 10:59:50 ET You know which i'm in favor of....

Furax 2002-10-11 11:07:49 ET *makes crepes*

Insomnia 2002-10-11 11:09:10 ET yes we love you furax....

Furax 2002-10-11 11:10:06 ET yeah yeah :-P

DefektivUnit 2002-10-11 11:43:45 ET DSL is a gift from the gods. i could not live without it.

Avant-Gardian-Angel 2002-10-11 14:06:38 ET I bought lemmons yesterday.

The Joker 2002-10-11 16:01:23 ET Lemon juice helps prevent STDs and conception. Really, it's true. As for the busy all the time gig, I understand that feeling. If it wasn't for the feeling of nervousness (and a hallucinatory experience in high school) Id take the legal speed again. God knows I need it. Between the freelance graphic art work, web design deadlines, writing articles, organizing personal and professional stuff and working on my portfolio Im busy all the time, it's really starting to get annoying. urg. I havent lost a cellphone in a long time, but I did lose my planner in Hollywood Wednesday night. dammit. As for the boy thing... well hey, every so often a person should challenge their comfort zones, and sometimes it's your friends and significant others that can push you to challenge them in ways you normally wouldnt. But those same people should always respect what makes you the person you are. I think that being locked into one particular subkulture is just as bad another. Being exclusively prep/rivet/goth/hip-hop/country/rave/whatever can close a person off from things they would otherwise enjoy if they just gave it a chance. Thing is, people have to find that out for themselves. The things that honestly make you happy are what you should embrace. For me thats switching up between 20 holes and general rivety goodness to baggy bluejeans and vans. Shit, I didnt know until earlier this year that I like skateboarding. A friend forced me to try it, and its a blast. At any given time me an' Finn will blare anything from Industrial to Gangsta Rap to most recently 80's metal... Knowing that I love all this in its quirkiness, and accepting it, it's up to other people to do so as well. I guess basically what Im saying is go with what makes you comfortable and develop it, including new things... but dont refuse to do anything because its "not you" according to other people and dont do anything because other people "expect" it of you because it's "rivet" or whatever other reason. As long as the people you allow to surround you accept you for yourself (and most importantly you accept yourself... you'll be alright. But then again, I barely know you ;) At least you are comfy in geekdom... I give props for the LAN party ;) . -The Joker

The Finn 2002-10-13 00:23:45 ET ::Points above:: What he said.

stormzealot 2002-10-14 03:48:18 ET Stackers Rock the Kashba, Air Hockey OWNZ.... DSL is a truely beautiful thing, and LAN parties are da shit all in all u are hell fucking kewloi in my book -dan ps: dont listen to all of them, follow ur heart. I see where ur coming from with this, just make sure ur current situation is really were ur heart wants to be

The Joker 2002-10-14 11:36:45 ET This is true, I forgot to put up the disclaimer: DO NOT LISTEN TO ME. This concludes our emergency broadcast system test. -The Joker

death by design 2002-10-14 20:18:03 ET thankies stormzealot.. i cant really expect serious advice if i'm not willing to part w/specifics and i listen to you a bit too much joker =) when joker speaks i'm all ears

The Joker 2002-10-15 12:16:10 ET You listen to me too much?! Now I am afraid for you. Or of you. Im not sure yet. In any event, I'll try to make what I speak about worth listening to. But believe me, there will be monkeys! Oh how there will be monkeys! -The Joker

death by design 2002-10-15 12:28:55 ET muahaha im sure insomnia would tell the finn to tell you to be afraid of me...

The Joker 2002-10-15 12:30:21 ET How do you know she already hasn't? Besides, Im sure the Finn would tell Insomnia to tell you the same. >=) -The Joker

death by design 2002-10-15 12:31:46 ET she more said that he said that i was a 'chick joker' because i'm late for things, and messy. i find these qualities *attractive* , i dont know what their problem is

The Joker 2002-10-15 12:46:25 ET Don't worry, we're just advanced. I've heard the same from Finn. Im glad someone else can appreciate messiness and non-punctuality. If you get half as much shit for it as I do though, Im sorry, but its hard to be on time when you are trying to put evil machinations into play for world domination. Sheesh. -The Joker

Insomnia 2002-10-15 12:50:42 ET *And* I bet I could produce enough pics of Raine being a club slut to rival your five girls post on Placebo, Joker. . .

The Joker 2002-10-15 12:54:11 ET ::Laughz:: I dont doubt it ;) But that wasnt me, that was Syd. People always confuse us, but we are two separate people, ask Finn. I do give Syd props for that though. -The Joker

death by design 2002-10-15 12:58:21 ET which one are you? *wonders* *blinks*

Insomnia 2002-10-15 12:58:28 ET not true!!

The Joker 2002-10-15 13:00:29 ET ::laughz:: >=) Its a loooooong story. Dont kill the mystery for the kids ;) -The Joker

death by design 2002-10-15 13:05:23 ET no no i have to know

Insomnia 2002-10-15 13:07:16 ET not true! i'll show you the pics when i come home today babe, they're hot! I wouldn't wanna go around denying the connection, it would pose you as the un-fun one, Joker. ..

The Joker 2002-10-15 13:16:57 ET ::laughz:: Moi? Un-Fun? Never! Syd is the one that always takes things far too seriously. Im the one with the sense of humor ;) -The Joker

The Joker 2002-10-15 13:19:52 ET And are you saying those pics are hot? Careful, you'll inflate Syd's ego even more. =P He's bad enough already. -The Joker

Insomnia 2002-10-15 13:22:49 ET Yeh they are hot. .. and a perfect match for DbD. DbD should meet Syd instead, I guess. Sorry Joker.

The Joker 2002-10-15 13:27:21 ET ::laughs:: he gets all the girls. bastard. Oh well, Ill console myself by beating a pedestrian with a rubber chicken filled with sand. -The Joker

Gage* 2002-10-15 23:44:49 ET I can attest I have had many sexual encounters with Syd. But I am ususally on the losing end cuz he takes all my bitches.

The Finn 2002-10-16 00:49:54 ET Someone said Evil Machinations. I have evil machinations. Enough to warrant an imp. His name is Bobdot and he now wears hoodies. Now if I can just shrink him, make him eat children, and answer only to "Butterman," I'm really, really evil. When next you drink, make a toast to evil machinations.

Gage* 2002-10-16 01:05:23 ET WORD

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