Up late feeling sick again!!!
2002-12-08 22:33:35 ET

i swear i dont know what the hell is wrong with me its like every now and then i feel really sick like im gonna yak but then it all of a sudden goes away really late at night and i can sleep then i wake up and its as if i was never sick its strange i really wanna find out whats going on with my body but anyways i dunno my friend lost my glasses like 3 weeks ago and she just recently found then so im really happy about that umm fryday was so great like i got to leave my house really early like around 5:00 and usually i cant leave till like 730 or 8 sometimes even 9 so i was really happy and me, wishcracks, and alex met up with casper, midnight, chronic, clark, krysta, and tyson at the park and we started getting pretty trashed then like we left the park andthen we went to pack n' save to get some more you know what and then we came to little ceasers where we left krysta,midnight and casper and they gave us some pizza then we walked back to the park and had some more drink and then i saw my brother there with some of his friends and i was talking to them for awhile cause i know some of them and it was pretty cool like i dunno my brother was being really nice to me and sometimes hes like ashamed to admit that im his sister but fryday night he was goingup to his friends and was like have you met my sister dude meet my sister shes awesome and then like my friend was taking pictures and my brother comes up to me and hes like hey wishcracks get a picture of all of us andif you cant then just of me and her and he put his arm around me so i was pretty happy that my brother was being really chillwith me but yeah so hmm saturday we met up at the park around 4 and everyone was getting elevated except for me and krysta cause i didnt feel like it but then about an hour later i started getting faded and that was fun and we stayed there for a long time oh yeha i remember the bathrooms were closed at the park so i went pee behind a tree hahahaha it sucked and then like 30min later i had to pee again but i waslike everyone im walkingto starbucks cause i really have to pee and i dont wanna squat so everyone was like ok lets all go so we walked there which was like 15min but it was so worth it and then like my friend wishnack had to be at my hosue by 7 so she could get picked up and i told her that if my mom was home that she would just waitin the front cause i ddint want to deal with my mom messed up so she was like alright but my mom wasnt there so we went inside and my brother comes up to all of us and he waslike your all faded i can tell your faces are red and then he just left us alone and then his friend conrad came over and then laura got picked up and we waited for my brother and conrad cause conrad was gonna give us a ride back to the park and then as me and krysta were walking out of my house my mom pulled up so i was like fuck but she couldnt see us so me and krysta creeped over to conrads car and when we herd my mom go inside we went into conrads car and waited for him and my brother to come out so that was all good and they gave us a ride to the park and we met back up with everyone then after staying at the park for another hour we went to clarks house and got some food andthen watched south park and then my friend simon walked me home and my mom went to sleep andi went to my room to pass out and today was a boring day i called up clark but he didnt pick up his fone so i didnt botherto bug him but yeah i cleaned my room which is good causeit was such a mess my god it was horrible but yeah so im just waiting for my tummy to feel better i hopeit does soon

Hate Me
2002-12-03 14:40:26 ET

i cant be this now
its not me anymore
i really tried ive tried
attempted suicide
fucking convulsing and
constantly denied
subcountaning me somewhere

scratching the walls of my glass coffin
scraping raping
my nails on the glass on the bottom
is there an end where does this end
if i was you id fucking hate me too

-The Distillers

fryday sucked
2002-12-01 10:13:55 ET

fryday was so fucking lame. i went down to fresno to visit my friend amanda but shes a fucking retard and didnt tell her mom that i was down there so like she lied to her mom and told her that she was with someone else which really pissed me off i dont know why she just doesnt tell me that her mom still hates me but anyways so like she came by the hotel and picked me up and then we went to some gay ass football game and only stayed there for like 30min then we left to go get a pack of cigarettes and then to the tower district we went to this pizza place cause we both had to pee really bad and like we were talking to her hippie friends that were playing haky sack out in the front it was great and then like we met up with two of her non-hippie friends and went to this guys house to see if he was home but he wasnt so we went to his skate shop that he works at and then we ditched her friends and i called up a friend named tony to see what he was doing. so yeah then we went back to the hippie people and amanda saw her friend homer and we were talking to him for awhile and then we gave them a ride into the fucking ghetto and then we started out towards clovis to meet up with tony. but we kinna got lost on the way but anyways so we met up with him at some party and likeit was really dumb there then we went to another party but then amanda had to go home cause her mom was calling her so i stayed with tony and this party was even worse than the one that we met him at but yeah so it sucks cause i didnt get elevaded and i didnt get faded which fucking sucks thats why fryday blew ass. but yesterday was alright i came home from fresno and my brother made me bootleg copies of movies he gave me triple x, death to smoochy, 8 mile, and for some reason Men in black 2 i really didnt want to see that and i dont think that i will but yeah so i watched 8 mile and triple x yesterday they were both pretty good 8 mile was so fucking good but i dunno triple x had good action in it but the acting was really cheesy but yeah then i got to see my love my good friend alex i swear i cantlive a day without seeing this boy or talking to him on the fone but yeah my vacation kinna sucked

so full
2002-11-28 19:54:27 ET

dammit i hate eating sometimes cause i hate having a uncoforable full aww im so tired i cant wait till tomarrow cause i get to see my best friend amanda i havent seen her in so long but yeah i was washing the dishes and our sink is broken which sucks ass cause i think my moms too drunk to help me figure out whats wrong with it hahaha anyways yeah

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