teh weekend..    2005-07-04 00:03:52 ET
first let me tell ya, as you can tell this is a long ass post, so...i'm sorry those really intrested will read, those not, they will skim the end and post comments about that, either way, i appreciate people that post on my page, makes me feel good, keep doin what your doing, and yeah.....anyway, on with the update....so the weekend started out like this...friday i went to see my old band director...yes i was a band geek, but i was a drummer so it's ok. anyway friday, i hung out with a bunch of old friends from band, we didn't do much catching up as they were stuffing their faces and i was watching cuz i'm a broke mudda luva. but anyway, and brad, yes i know you offered, but i wasn't hungry. then i went to brads house and we hung out until we went to see war of the worlds, which was probably the best movie i've seen in a while. i give it a 9.5 outta 10. but that's just me. saturday, saturday started out with me getting ready heading to gamestop aka gaystop, but they managed to stop their homo-ality, for about a 20 minute period and help me out, i took back midnight club 3, nfsu and 2, mechassault 2, and mortal kombat deception. cuz mk sucked and i was bored with the rest, i got a straight up trade in for 12 months of game informer, a foam ddr pad and gta san andreas. good trade for like 115 bucks worth of games. i went to kandess' house and hung out for a while, watched josh get old on the sims wishing the whole time the reaper would knock on his door and he'd die, but didn't happen then. oh well. so about 1 in the morning i went to brads he said craig left his smirnoffs and bacardi over there, so i went to his house and spent the night, had 2 drinks..yes i was illegal saturday. sunday i woke up helped brad put his inside windows in his house, *by the way if you ever get the chance to play with an electric screwdriver, do it, it's more fun than shooting cops with a grenade launcher on gta.* then we started getting ready for the party, i went to k's, picked them up went to walmart then back to brads where we waited for cover of darkness for fireworks. needless to say there are 2 stories to be told, but i'll sum them up, brad was dodging fireworks headed toward him and his house, and i was matrix jumping away from two fireballs that came at me....it filled me with a sense of self pride, by god. that or i'm hanging around brad too much...i think it's the 2nd one. i was on a cell phone too, so...yeah. so a little later on i start talking to one of my friends from way back in high school, now i had a really big crush on her and in a wierd way i still do, sadly...there was a lot that happened with me, her, and my present day friends kandess and everyone. we talked online for a few hours, then she called brads phone and i talked to her, mid conversation my granma beeps in..this is 3 in the morning by the way. so i finish my conversation with brandi, and end up going home to make the woman hush, it might seem bad that i want to go home to make my granma shut up, but if you guys knew what she was like you wouldn't blame me. anyway, so now here i am posting about my weekend on subkultures like the nice james should. have a happy whatever time of the day/night it is, and i hope you all are safe and sound...

 this....yeah..    2005-06-29 18:01:43 ET
as sad as it is to say i'm out of happy things to say. i'm not feeling like i belong in the world anymore, i know those of you who are my friends know this happens periodically, but i dont' fucking know why, i feel like shit, and it's not like..i'm sick, more like i feel like i just wanna pay a mercenary to snipe me, even though i know it's coming. why? i dont' know, but it's getting to be pretty fucking old, this is not what people are supposed to feel like who have a good life. why do i feel like i'm lonely, and why do i feel so empty, it's not because i don't have a girlfriend, that's for sure, i discovered that this weekend. so why is it?....i really have no clue...but i'm about ready to go off the deep end.

 another day at work....yes.    2005-06-29 06:49:43 ET
anyone know what else i can do on the weekends, not that my weekend now isn't cool or anything, i'm just needing something else to do. i usually go to brad's house, go home, then to kandess' house for the night, and sunday i spend staring and whoevers ceiling...and by that i mean whoever i spent the night with...usually kandess and josh, and wishing next weekend would hurry up. so i need something to do....any suggestions?

 so.    2005-06-28 06:38:12 ET
again here at work, i should probably eat my breakfast, since it's getting warmer, yeah i've got these little bagel things, and they were cold, but their getting warmer now, i hate my job, but can't get a new one, so....until i find a better day, i'm here...and...yeah. so anyway, how is everyone, hopefully good. and stuff, hopefully i'll make it through the week and continue on a good weekend. that would be nice.

 eyes on me    2005-06-27 20:32:54 ET
Whenever sang my songs, on the stage, on my own.
Whenever said my words, wishing they would be heard.
I saw you smiling at me, was it real or just my fantasy?
You'd always be there in the corner, of this tiny little bar.

My last night here for you, same old songs just once more.
My last night here with you, maybe yes, maybe no.
I kind of liked it your way, how you shyly placed your eyes on me.
Oh, did you ever know, that I had mine on you.

Darling, so there you are, with that look on your face.
As if you're never hurt, as if you're never down.
Shall I be the one for you, who pinches you softly but sure.
If frown is shown then, I will know that you are no dreamer.

So let me come to you, close as I wanna be.
Close enough for me, to feel your heart beating fast.
And stay there as I whisper, how I loved your peaceful eyes on me.
Did you ever know, that I had mine on you.

Darling, so share with me, your love if you had enough.
Your tears if you're holding back, or pain if that's what it is.
How can I let you know, I'm more than the dress and the voice.
Just reach me out then, you will know that you are not dreaming.

from the final fantasy 8 soundtrack.

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