|Sleepless||2010-09-20 16:47:46 ET|
I guess I am sleeping, just not really getting any rest. I dream at night. Weird dreams that don't make any sense and they some of them scare me, or make me feel uneasy. It happens all night long and I wake up 4-5 times a night. It been like this for the past 3 nights.
I miss my hubby. When I used to wake up from stuff like that I would scoot as close to him as I could and knowing he was right beside me brought me comfort. Now I wake up and my bed is cold and empty.
I used to be good at this, I made it through two, six month deployments. They weren't easy but I made it. This seems so much harder. It feels like he has been gone a year but he has only been gone since June. I get to talk to him almost every day, but it only makes me miss him more. I hear his voice and it makes me long for his arms that much more. I miss snuggling under his chin and breathing him in when I get home from work and he gives me my hello hug or seeing him on the couch playing his game when I walk in the door. When someone is gone you really notice the little things and the things you took for granted.
This deployment is by far the hardest I have gone through and its not even half way over. I guess I just have to be thankful that I am here with family and not alone in a new place.