2010-12-30 00:59:30 ET
It seems rather benial that I would blog some dischordant mumbo jumbo about how I feel about shit, but im at a point where I feel I need to say something about my instabilities as a father and as a person. Despite all the great things I got going for me (my wife and children) I still find myself spiralling out of control with my "habit" in way too much excess. I cant help but feel stupidly insubstantial with my becomming as a human being, even as I type this out it seem so stupid that I would go on with such rubbish, I pray that its not comming off as whiney or "woe is me" Tis not attention or affection that im looking for but mearely a means to vent my frustration because quite frankly i feel like im about to explode. Through a self examination of my self I must come to terms that im too much chaotic in a society deemed so proper. Im too megalomaniacal in situations where I should "blend in" with everything else. I have hurt everyone that has loved me, and love the thigs that hurt me. I suppose that before I can change anything else, I must first find change and get over myself.
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