boring bs? the same procedure as every year, miss sophie?    2013-01-11 01:31:54 ET
...and again i have to see, that i couldn`t functionate like "normal" people. and had to bring myself in hospital,- "therapy", i could hear them again,btw.

im sad, that i couldnt move in this nice little flat in berlin, because of my psych-problems and too less money.

but i know now, that im not alone here- here are my people!-its my home with friends and my sisters near by, i can look into their eyes, i can touch them, smell and they give me a real hug. and laugh with them, the best thing on that illness is a special kind of humour, with out it you could give up at once.

itll never be easy, my life is crasschore sometimes, but now i have the hope, that it could work with the medicine , good talks with good people, and try to live not so fast.


 hey babes!    2012-11-12 21:38:56 ET
when everything works ill move to berlin in february.
yesterday i sprayed on a painting i found in old things on the street long time ago. on the painting were tulpines, and i paint a lot of flowers on my own. so i wanted to spray "flowers, flowers, flowers" but than i sprayed;
a few weeks ago i painted a bad face (fratze) on a flower-painting from me.
i hate to paint flowers all the time.

i need a big "leinwand" to paint my dream of jesus on a "diwan" in oil.
he should be with a woman on it.

in berlin i will write on my science fiction or on another project.
maybe a book with my poems, too.

and ill visit english spoken meetings.

there is a duck-lake and a park in the near of my new flat. the house has windows in "jugendstil"

i came in and felt very comfortable. there are trees before my windows, so i`ll sit there drawing sometime.

carsten will take a flat there, too. and hell play in a band and visit an art-institute. work a little bit.

my catman could look to birds on that trees.

so life will be much better for us.

"ich bin ein berliner"
(berliner are also cakes with marmelade)

 mmhhh1    2012-11-07 00:39:02 ET
vegan butter and cacao-powder on my breakfast-bread. that reminds me on time, when i was a child. but today i listen to rocknroll and not to radio.

 my myspace and facebook    2012-10-31 04:04:34 ET

 back again    2012-10-30 00:54:29 ET

after a long time with tv and cakes and chocolate, depression and alkohol i startet the second try with "bill and bob".

i felt to be right there, and now im with them since 3 and half week.
there are many interesting people, i went to cinema with 2 of them in the second week, i met two gays for lunch, well go to brunch on sunday together with my boyfriend.

it is a kind of new life for me without alcohol. i smoke a lot of cigarettes now, but sometime i wont need that , too.

in the meetings i met a woman, wholl give up her flat in berlin now. wednesday i take a trip to berlin, take a walk in the quarter and have a look on the flat. but maybe the owner will sell this house. ill write him a letter, and carsten will go to berlin with me, when i move.

i hope to get a flat there, soon.
and i hope, someone of you people will visit me there, maybe.

17 years in braunschweig are enough.

and the other things in my life? _: i paint a lot, and my creativity flows without alcohohol much more than ever.

i spin my own music , i have a lot good things- nearly all day, when im at home.
with candles, tee, and a good mood.

i feel fresh, i lost weight, i eat bio-legumes, life can be beautyful!!

and im happy about counterseatlle, that s my start in the day, when i awake, make some coffee(espresso) and listen to it nearly every morning during the week.- greetz to turbo.

i wish you a good week, hope obama will win, hope your wether will be better soon.

love, susanne

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