| boring bs? the same procedure as every year, miss sophie? 2013-01-11 01:31:54 ET
...and again i have to see, that i couldn`t functionate like "normal" people. and had to bring myself in hospital,- "therapy", i could hear them again,btw.|
i´m sad, that i couldn´t move in this nice little flat in berlin, because of my psych-problems and too less money.
but i know now, that i´m not alone here- here are my people!-it´s my home with friends and my sisters near by, i can look into their eyes, i can touch them, smell and they give me a real hug. and laugh with them, the best thing on that illness is a special kind of humour, with out it you could give up at once.
it´ll never be easy, my life is crasschore sometimes, but now i have the hope, that it could work with the medicine , good talks with good people, and try to live not so fast.
| hey babes! 2012-11-12 21:38:56 ET
when everything works i´ll move to berlin in february.|
yesterday i sprayed on a painting i found in old things on the street long time ago. on the painting were tulpines, and i paint a lot of flowers on my own. so i wanted to spray "flowers, flowers, flowers" but than i sprayed;
a few weeks ago i painted a bad face (fratze) on a flower-painting from me.
i hate to paint flowers all the time.
i need a big "leinwand" to paint my dream of jesus on a "diwan" in oil.
he should be with a woman on it.
in berlin i will write on my science fiction or on another project.
maybe a book with my poems, too.
and i´ll visit english spoken meetings.
there is a duck-lake and a park in the near of my new flat. the house has windows in "jugendstil"
i came in and felt very comfortable. there are trees before my windows, so i`ll sit there drawing sometime.
carsten will take a flat there, too. and he´ll play in a band and visit an art-institute. work a little bit.
my catman could look to birds on that trees.
so life will be much better for us.
"ich bin ein berliner"
(berliner are also cakes with marmelade)
| mmhhh1 2012-11-07 00:39:02 ET
vegan butter and cacao-powder on my breakfast-bread. that reminds me on time, when i was a child. but today i listen to rockn´roll and not to radio.
| back again 2012-10-30 00:54:29 ET
after a long time with tv and cakes and chocolate, depression and alkohol i startet the second try with "bill and bob".
i felt to be right there, and now i´m with them since 3 and half week.
there are many interesting people, i went to cinema with 2 of them in the second week, i met two gays for lunch, we´ll go to brunch on sunday together with my boyfriend.
it is a kind of new life for me without alcohol. i smoke a lot of cigarettes now, but sometime i won´t need that , too.
in the meetings i met a woman, who´ll give up her flat in berlin now. wednesday i take a trip to berlin, take a walk in the quarter and have a look on the flat. but maybe the owner will sell this house. i´ll write him a letter, and carsten will go to berlin with me, when i move.
i hope to get a flat there, soon.
and i hope, someone of you people will visit me there, maybe.
17 years in braunschweig are enough.
and the other things in my life? _: i paint a lot, and my creativity flows without alcohohol much more than ever.
i spin my own music , i have a lot good things- nearly all day, when i´m at home.
with candles, tee, and a good mood.
i feel fresh, i lost weight, i eat bio-legumes, life can be beautyful!!
and i´m happy about counterseatlle, that ´s my start in the day, when i awake, make some coffee(espresso) and listen to it nearly every morning during the week.- greetz to turbo.
i wish you a good week, hope obama will win, hope your wether will be better soon.