4/01/05 - Members of the Slackers @ the School for the Visual Arts, New York, NY

2005-04-01 19:40:21 ET Gas - $10.11 Tolls - $9.05 Ticket - $3.00 Glen Pine, Vic Ruggiero & Ara Barbajian playing to a bunch of art students. - priceless. There are some things money can buy. For everything else there\'s a mildly unhealthy addiction to ska music. ... but for three dollars?? come on! I couldn\'t afford not to go!

I'm usually not like this...

2005-03-30 23:07:56 ET I'm usually bitter. Ever have one of those moments where a smile will turn to a frown? or even worse, a sneer? I had one as I left Medstar tonight. If'n you don't know, Medstar is a company I've freelanced for over the last year. They produce the hit show "Forensic Files," and I do mainly digitizing. I have done one or two rough edits for them, but I'm never asked back to do any more. Or to come in the day-time for that matter. Tonight they had me working third shift, from midnight on! ("20 years of school and they put you on the day shift" - Dylan) Even so, I've never been bitter. I've used Medstar to convince other companies that I have the skills Medstar apparantly doesn't see. It seems to work. But as I walked out tonight (yes, they gave me keys, now I lock up) I saw on the board "Medstar Welcomes Eric Karol" (do I care that I'm using his real name? Should I?) One of my fellow 2003 TV/Film Graduates. And it just hit me with a wave of cynicism. Here's a guy with no more talent than you, with no more skill, and he's now got a job, probably workin the daytime, at a place you've been schlepping at for a year. Why should that be? Why does he get the job? God knows, he could have a camera position, I know one just opened... He could have a production job somewhere. Something I don't even want. He might just be interviewing, or doing a test edit (not that they had my name up there when it was me) But That doesn't bother me. It's just the unfairness of it all. Like Job I want to shake my fists at God. But like Job, I won't. I'll keep it inside and accept it as the way of the world. Maybe he just got some lucky breaks, working for Channel 69, keeping good connections and having a pretty face. Being able to crack jokes and being casual to be around. I'm a pretty quiet guy who's jokes are only funny to a handful. But that don't mean that if you put me at a computer, I'll do a worse job. But apparently it does. And sometimes I wonder if that seeps through when I do get a test edit, or a real opportunity. Whether I do psych myself out. Not pick the best shot or the right transition. What was it that they didn't like about that car commercial? "They weren't sure" they said. Maybe they sensed some loser was at the controls. An unfunny, unkempt man with a wealth of talent stuffed in a mattress somewhere. I told a guy earlier tonight, that you have to keep trying and I know that's the truth. I know that the pavements have to be hit and the fan keeps on spinning regardless of shit that you need to plow through So it's like a man once said, who looked remarkably like me - "I demand it." And so it shall be. I'll hit the sack tonight and hit the bricks tommorrow. Hand out my tracts and pray for a solution. For them to see in me not a scruffy artist who can't compete but a determined man who just needs a break just needs someone to say "I see the spark" and then not get fired by a guy who'll burn your best friend when he no longer barks. Surrounded by the biggest eyesore in the Lehigh Valley with a checking account at 0 I really have nowhere to go but up. up up and away. From Concrete Sidewalks Blue skies shimmer hopefully But it's just.... not.... fair *passes out* Yeah yeah yeah Your mama's rich and your daddy's good looking I got the hunger so tell me what's cooking I got the time man, if you gat a dime man Don't waste your time man, that's a Capital crime man I got the will, if you got the thrill And I'll sell you my trash if you pay me cash The man's got the stash, but we got the hash... Hey! what you got in that bag? I don't believe you... Well the boys want the boys and girls want the girls It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world Georgie's buying coke, and Michael's selling cola Don't leave the bag out or you'll get turned over Twenty empty houses and they put you on the waiting list Twenty years of day school and they put you on the night shift But you got yours and I got mine You know we're doing OK, yeah we're doing fine Lucy's in the Sky, she got tears in her eyes 'Cos we're all on the same side when the mushroom hits the sky Just open your heart babe and you can start the revolution - Vamp Transvision

2005-03-21 02:31:49 ET How I long to see her hair blown by the California wind drawn by her music her siren song, we've come as pied-piper Rats - hypnotized and powerless, waiting for something to come to us, give us the reason that vision will send us on. 1 comment

the Promised Land

2005-03-21 02:28:16 ET On a rattlesnake speedway in the utah desert I pick up my money and head back into town Driving cross the waynesboro county line I got the radio on and I'm just killing time Working all day in my daddy's garage Driving all night chasing some mirage Pretty soon little girl I'm gonna take charge The dogs on main street howl `cause they understand If I could take one moment into my hands Mister I ain't a boy no I'm a man And I believe in a promised land I've done my best to live the right way I get up every morning and go to work each day But your eyes go blind and your blood runs cold Sometimes I feel so weak I just want to explode Explode and tear this town apart Take a knife and cut this pain from my heart Find somebody itching for something to start The dogs on main street howl `cause they understand If I could take one moment into my hands Mister I ain't a boy no I'm a man And I believe in a promised land There's a dark cloud rising from the desert floor I packed my bags and I'm heading straight into the storm Gonna be a twister to blow everything down That ain't got the faith to stand it's ground Blow away the dreams that tear you apart Blow away the dreams that break your heart Blow away the lies that leave you nothing but lost and brokenhearted The dogs on main street howl `cause they understand If I could take one moment into my hands Mister I ain't a boy no I'm a man And I believe in a promised land And I believe in a promised land And I believe in a promised land... - Brooooooce 1 comment

Running From Safety

2005-03-09 17:57:20 ET this bird was allright found somewhere to stay last night some face at the show some place that we could go day breaks once more I wake up on someone's floor "morning is here," say the spilled ashtrays and half-filled beers just running from safety that nothing can save me escape has enslaved me with running away 7 am and I'm not quite sure where I am the sounds in the car of someone preparing for work a stretch and a yawn I still got my work clothes on cause my 9 to 5 is doing a 10 hour drive just running from safety that nothing can save me escape has enslaved me with running away just running from nothing not sure of the sure thing stare at a small screen and jump when the phone rings Westbound on the 70 3 hours from sensi just running from safety that nothing can save me escape has enslaved me with running away with running away with running away... Running from Safety - Chris Murray

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