4/01/05 - Members of the Slackers @ the School for the Visual Arts, New York, NY
2005-04-01 19:40:21 ET

Gas - $10.11
Tolls - $9.05
Ticket - $3.00


Glen Pine, Vic Ruggiero & Ara Barbajian
playing to a bunch of art students.
- priceless.

There are some things money can buy.
For everything else there\'s a mildly unhealthy addiction to ska music.


... but for three dollars?? come on! I couldn\'t afford not to go!

I'm usually not like this...
2005-03-30 23:07:56 ET

I'm usually bitter.

Ever have one of those moments where a smile will turn to a frown?
or even worse, a sneer?

I had one as I left Medstar tonight. If'n you don't know, Medstar is a company I've freelanced for over the last year. They produce the hit show "Forensic Files," and I do mainly digitizing. I have done one or two rough edits for them, but I'm never asked back to do any more. Or to come in the day-time for that matter. Tonight they had me working third shift, from midnight on! ("20 years of school and they put you on the day shift" - Dylan)
Even so, I've never been bitter. I've used Medstar to convince other companies that I have the skills Medstar apparantly doesn't see. It seems to work.

But as I walked out tonight (yes, they gave me keys, now I lock up) I saw on the board "Medstar Welcomes Eric Karol" (do I care that I'm using his real name? Should I?) One of my fellow 2003 TV/Film Graduates.
And it just hit me with a wave of cynicism.
Here's a guy with no more talent than you, with no more skill, and he's now got a job, probably workin the daytime, at a place you've been schlepping at for a year.
Why should that be? Why does he get the job? God knows, he could have a camera position, I know one just opened... He could have a production job somewhere. Something I don't even want. He might just be interviewing, or doing a test edit (not that they had my name up there when it was me)
But That doesn't bother me. It's just the unfairness of it all. Like Job I want to shake my fists at God. But like Job, I won't. I'll keep it inside and accept it as the way of the world.

Maybe he just got some lucky breaks, working for Channel 69, keeping good connections and having a pretty face. Being able to crack jokes and being casual to be around. I'm a pretty quiet guy who's jokes are only funny to a handful. But that don't mean that if you put me at a computer, I'll do a worse job.
But apparently it does. And sometimes I wonder if that seeps through when I do get a test edit, or a real opportunity. Whether I do psych myself out. Not pick the best shot or the right transition. What was it that they didn't like about that car commercial?
"They weren't sure" they said.
Maybe they sensed some loser was at the controls. An unfunny, unkempt man with a wealth of talent stuffed in a mattress somewhere.
I told a guy earlier tonight,
that you have to keep trying and I know that's the truth.
I know that the pavements have to be hit and the fan keeps on spinning regardless of shit
that you need to plow through
So it's like a man once said, who looked remarkably like me -
"I demand it."
And so it shall be.
I'll hit the sack tonight and hit the bricks tommorrow.
Hand out my tracts and pray for a solution.
For them to see in me not a scruffy artist who can't compete
but a determined man who just needs a break
just needs someone to say "I see the spark"
and then not get fired by a guy who'll burn your best friend when he no longer barks.
Surrounded by the biggest eyesore in the Lehigh Valley
with a checking account at 0
I really have nowhere to go but up.
up up and away.

From Concrete Sidewalks
Blue skies shimmer hopefully
But it's just....
not....
fair
*passes out*




Yeah yeah yeah
Your mama's rich and your daddy's good looking
I got the hunger so tell me what's cooking
I got the time man, if you gat a dime man
Don't waste your time man, that's a Capital crime man
I got the will, if you got the thrill
And I'll sell you my trash if you pay me cash
The man's got the stash, but we got the hash...
Hey! what you got in that bag? I don't believe you...
Well the boys want the boys and girls want the girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
Georgie's buying coke, and Michael's selling cola
Don't leave the bag out or you'll get turned over
Twenty empty houses and they put you on the waiting list
Twenty years of day school and they put you on the night shift
But you got yours and I got mine
You know we're doing OK, yeah we're doing fine
Lucy's in the Sky, she got tears in her eyes
'Cos we're all on the same side when the mushroom hits the sky
Just open your heart babe and you can start the revolution
- Vamp Transvision

2005-03-21 02:31:49 ET

How I long to see her hair
blown by the California wind
drawn by her music
her siren song,
we've come as pied-piper
Rats - hypnotized
and powerless,
waiting for something to come
to us, give us the
reason
that vision will
send us on.
1 comment

the Promised Land
2005-03-21 02:28:16 ET

On a rattlesnake speedway in the utah desert
I pick up my money and head back into town
Driving cross the waynesboro county line
I got the radio on and I'm just killing time
Working all day in my daddy's garage
Driving all night chasing some mirage
Pretty soon little girl I'm gonna take charge

The dogs on main street howl `cause they understand
If I could take one moment into my hands
Mister I ain't a boy no I'm a man
And I believe in a promised land

I've done my best to live the right way
I get up every morning and go to work each day
But your eyes go blind and your blood runs cold
Sometimes I feel so weak I just want to explode
Explode and tear this town apart
Take a knife and cut this pain from my heart
Find somebody itching for something to start

The dogs on main street howl `cause they understand
If I could take one moment into my hands
Mister I ain't a boy no I'm a man
And I believe in a promised land

There's a dark cloud rising from the desert floor
I packed my bags and I'm heading straight into the storm
Gonna be a twister to blow everything down
That ain't got the faith to stand it's ground
Blow away the dreams that tear you apart
Blow away the dreams that break your heart
Blow away the lies that leave you nothing but lost and
brokenhearted

The dogs on main street howl `cause they understand
If I could take one moment into my hands
Mister I ain't a boy no I'm a man
And I believe in a promised land

And I believe in a promised land

And I believe in a promised land...


- Brooooooce
1 comment

Running From Safety
2005-03-09 17:57:20 ET

this bird was allright
found somewhere to stay last night
some face at the show
some place that we could go

day breaks once more
I wake up on someone's floor
"morning is here,"
say the spilled ashtrays and half-filled beers

just running from safety
that nothing can save me
escape has enslaved me
with running away

7 am
and I'm
not quite sure where I am
the sounds in the car
of someone preparing for work
a stretch and a yawn
I still got my work clothes on
cause my 9 to 5 is
doing a 10 hour drive

just running from safety
that nothing can save me
escape has enslaved me
with running away

just running from nothing
not sure of the sure thing
stare at a small screen
and jump when the phone rings

Westbound on the 70
3 hours from sensi

just running from safety
that nothing can save me
escape has enslaved me
with running away

with running away
with running away...

Running from Safety
- Chris Murray

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