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2003-03-10 21:16:28 ET We're now moving on to short stories in my creative writing class. so, dear reader(s), expect some odd things on this page, for sure. I don't like stories. too hard to control. too many facets. even in my "film" I never have a "story" per-say. I enjoy, rather, exploring the intricacies of inter-relationships and personal realizations in life. the minutia that make up our lives facinate me, and I would rather write a poem, or a make a video, studying a person's singular reaction to an event, rather than the conflict and struggle the person(s) take on to reach a goal. I have no real goals in life... I have things I'd like to do, places I'd like to go, people I'd like to fuck (over), but no goals. if these things I'd like to happen never do, I can deal with that. it's not a crisis, and not a conflict. Last year, though, I wrote a great simple short story about a man who regrets not putting a dime in a bum's sax case. maybe I'll post it if I get bored enough... but was that enough for a full story? I don't think so. it was just a passing vision. like life. I've been meaning to write this - Living the Dream through hell and high water over canyon and creek we've come with determination to claim that which we seek. an aspiration to a goal a cloud to which we reach just look into my eyes you won't need a grand speech it's sacrifice and determination it's plans and schemes it's pain and wonder when you're living the dream a fight against reality the truth that won't renege knowing what you want could quite possibly leave you dead is it worth it? all the strife? all you've given up in your life? to try to gain some insight, into God's eye; His sight? a knowing of the world a connection with the stream we've become whole. we're living the dream
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The Card Cheat | |
2003-03-06 12:04:59 ET There's a solitary man crying, "Hold me." It's only because he's lonely If the keeper of time runs slowly He won't be alive for long! If he only had time to tell of all of the things he planned With a card up his sleeve, what would he achieve? It means nothing! To the opium den and the barroom gin In the Belmont chair playing violins The gambler's face cracks into a grin As he lays down the king of spades But the dealer just stares - There's something wrong here, he thinks The gambler is seized and forced to his knees and shot dead He only wanted more time away from the darkest door But his luck it gave in as the dawn light crept in And he lay on the floor From the Hundred Year War to the Crimea With a lance and a musket and a Roman spear To all of the men who have stood with no fear In the service of the King Before you met your fate be sure you Did not forsake..... your lover... May not be around anymore There's a solitary man crying, "Hold me." It's only because he's lonely If the keeper of time runs slowly He won't be alive for long! - Joe Strummer |
2003-03-05 20:43:48 ET a biting chill from the cold night air. there's blood on the snow, and I don't care. a stench on the wind it's only rotting flesh I'm allowed the bread but hide it, nevertheless. It's tough to live when everyone dies but you must keep on for the sake of their lives. the man with the gun crying children in the dark we're being wiped out for being who we are. "work will make you free," he said, but that was obviously a lie for the more of us they bring to work the more of us go to die. we once prayed for a savior we hoped that he would come if he doesn't come more quickly I fear we'll all be done. a german rifle snap pierces me through the air there's blood on the snow and I don't care |
2003-03-05 20:16:37 ET no, I'm not strong, I just have a thick wall of apathy to lean against. yeah... I try to stay away from poetry, cause it often leads to a) whining b) crappy poetry. and I'm too critical of any art, especially that which comes from me. 99% is crap, but most people don't catch on to that, and that's why it's perpetuated. I still want to write something about "living the dream" cause more and more, it feels like I'm fighting the dream. or at least, fighting to keep dreaming. losing faith in what you want? a bit. Just tired and disillusioned. Guess that comes with moving on in life. just a little left over teenage angst. I think Kurt Cobain knew something about that. feeling like you missed something when everyone else is telling you you've found it. knowing your time is short and not knowing how to make the most of it. all the pressures of the world and none of it's repsonsibilities stigma, abuse and ridicule with all of the reprocussions. The power to change the world, and lacking the will to try... I just want to make sure I'm not wasting my time here. |
2003-03-03 11:36:18 ET More Poetry, since I haven't been keeping up - The first is a song, the second, a poem, about the same subject. Second Chance Let’s give it another Try we don’t have the time to let time pass by. We’ve waited so long what have I done wrong this isn’t a line let’s give it another try we risked it once I see what you mean if you’ll give me your trust I know that you’ll see In Twenty six months a man can change the things that I said they don’t mean the same I promise you the truth No more head-games Do you promise to me to try to stay until you make another pass when I have the chance to ask Let’s give it another try Untitled I see it in your eyes it’s in your voice and the very way you move when you’re around me. am I that obvious when I sit next to you, and cast sideways glances. or the way I try not to laugh At the old days we had. It seems we both want to ask but neither can take that step can we give it another try? |
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