what is wrong with people..2006-12-17 04:44:58 ET

soo here is alittle of whats been going on...
you can check it out here...at this spot
drama drama drama

Jason and I have trackors on our myspace pages... and its interesting to see who looks at his page.
like his ex girl friend he dated for 6 yrs that basically started cheating on him before she broke up with him. She looks at his page EVERYDAY.
its amusing. my sister look at my page almost every hour.. shes such a stalker. lol.

5 days til Jason comes home.
I miss him soo much. and with everything that has gone on the past two days.. i could really use him around.

my nerves have been soo shot that I've been shaking for the whole time. it sucks.

yay!!2006-12-15 03:27:14 ET

this officially begins the count down until Jason comes home.

7 DAYS!!!!!

i cant wait!

gay , sadness...2006-12-12 11:24:20 ET

i hate that missing feeling.
i miss alot of things right now.
i miss my hometown.
my MD and PA friends.
I miss my old girls nights.
I miss the parties.
the drugs
and the alcohol.
i miss my papa daddy.
i miss cigarettes.
i miss my care-free, fuck it attitude.
i miss my "kids".
i miss my shitty little house
in a shitty little town
in a place that no one knows
but everyone knows everyone there.
i miss not having to worry about anything
making 45 dollars a week
and still being able to party like a rockstar.
i miss kisses
i miss sex
i miss cuddling.
and most of all...
the reason I miss all of that so bad,
is because the one person that gives me a reason to stay in south carolina....
the person that keeps me company, listens to me bitch and moan...
the person, that loves me to no end... is 670 miles away from me.
and missing him, makes me miss everything.

i hate sleeping in bed alone.
I'm growing up.. and I realize how quick I am growing up and how much life, and myself has changed... and I hate that part of it.
i'm super depressed lately.
and although I know this is not how it is... it feels like the world is falling down around me.
i get overwhelmed easily.
and how everything has gone in the past 2 weeks has been too much to handle.
i feel like I'm going to explode.

the person who helps me keep things rational is in Alabama. and that is where I plan to be after christmas.
I know people talk in this family.
i know how they talk.
but I dont care.
my sanity and emotional state is more important than me getting a job right now.
Its ok when I miss every thing else, but missing Jason is soo much harder, and I just dont want to miss him anymore.
I'm more attached to him than anyone can begin to comprehend.
and this past week or so has been killing me...

discouragement in the desk...2006-12-12 07:20:40 ET

So I'm really bored. And want to clean up the room.
And I was like well, I'll clean the computer desk and then we will be able to start putting the computer stuff in the desk.
Jason obviously never has done ANYTHING with this computer desk. And it was quite amusing at first.
but then I started to pull things out of the back of the drawer, and it was all stuff of his ex-girlfriend and from her.
So I stopped.
Its just akward, and I'd rather not deal with that today.
So Mr.Stone will be cleaning this desk out when he gets back here next week.
I know they dated ALONG time, I understand this. I know he will probably have alot of shit from and of her.
But I just dont like that feeling you get when you come across things like this.
if he wants to keep the stuff, thats fine, but get it all together and put it in a box or something so that I dont come across it and get upset.
thats all I ask.

on another note...
Jason asked me what I wanted for x-mas..
...I said commitment...
it was funny.
but what I really want is a new pair of shoes.
I'm wierd. I know.

Aunt Flo sucks donkey dick!

Went to the deep south2006-12-09 10:54:31 ET

Jason got a good job with his brother-in-law.
He's in Alabama.
We went down and met up with his sister and his brother-in-law.
He'll be gone for 2 weeks, then will come back a week for x-mas and then he will leave again for 2 1/2 months. Its a 3 month job.
Last night was my 1st night without him. It sucked big time.
I really miss him.

His sister and I just got back from Alabama last night.
check out the pictures from the trip here:

i dont have much to talk about.
I'm kinda on the sad side today.

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