so uh.. yea...2006-11-30 15:27:55 ET

so today I have been working on jesus-mas cards.
wow. there is alot.
tomorrow Jason and I have to take my brother to Chucktown for an appointment.
then we are doing xxx-mas pictures to go with the jesus-mas cards.
Jason went salt-water fishing today.
he's cleaning them now..yuck.
oh..i just found 2 OLD pictures of jason... and all I can do is laugh!

I added some new pictures by the way.

eye for an eye? 02:36:34 ET

Warning: this is personal on a sexual level...

So... everyone knows.. I have this issuse with Jason watching porn.
Especially if we have not had sex that day or we had just got done having sex.
It just makes me feel bad...
well, I have tried to talk to him about it... make him understand my point of view.. and no matter how hard I try, he cant get it through his thick head.
So... heres where I finally found a way for him to somewhat see my point...

My friend Jess came down this summer. And all she did was talk about how you hadnt had a piece of ass in soo long or a boyfriend for that matter. Even after she left and we talked on the phone it was the same thing.
So for her b-day I made this picture thing of me and her at the beach when she was down.. a card.. some other little things......and I got her a Man in a THE BULLET!
Well money was and has been tight so I havent been able to send her the package, and now she is dating one of my best friends back home. So I know she doesnt need the bullet.. and the joke of the bullet is now gone. So I kept say I was going to keep it. Cause I like them.. they are awesome. I broke mine after I moved down here, and havent had the money to get myself a new one. Jason kept getting aggervated that I wanted to keep it.
So I kept it. and I use it.
He thinks he is going to get replaced by it.. lol.
Which is exactly how I want him to feel... so he knows how I have been feeling. I know its bad to play this little game.. but Jason is so hard-headed sometimes that you have to take these approaches to certain subjects.
I'm going to let it go on for alittle while longer, so I know my point is made.

Other than that, things are good. We are both still sick.. this is a nasty little cold going around.
Right now I'm about to go clean up puppy puke....yuck.
have a grand day!

alittle update...2006-11-26 18:48:18 ET

So I'm sick again.
this time Jason gave it to me.
what a meanie-head.
he's still sick.
boy are icky!

drama in the SC.
you can never get away from it.

Picture this.....
me,....riding a bike for an hour or so everyday...
can you picture it?????

well you should, cause its been happening for the past 2 days, and I love it!
though my butt/pootie area is alittle sore..i still love it!
So I guess you can say
thats my new hobby.

Tomorrow I have my appointment at the mental health clinic, maybe something can be accomplished.

Hope all is well your way.
I'm about to go watch some TV with Jason, he's waiting.
Love ya'll.

i have a question...2006-11-20 07:02:33 ET

To the ladies...
do you think something wrong with my fallopen tube would sabatage my sex drive?

maybe its just all the shit to go wrong this week too, and everything building up.....

but why in the world would I have a nervous breakdown during sex?

please get back to me with your opinions.
1 comment

alittle update...2006-11-16 13:36:48 ET

I've been in pain on and off for days... period hasent come.. and I've been nauseated 85% of the day.. especially after I eat...

here is what happened around midnight.... the story as told on MySpace.. lol..

Theres Something Wrong with the Baby Maker

after much persausion on Jason's part, I finally went to the ER at midnight.
I'm not pregnant..
urine was clean...
still no period...

there is something wrong with the baby maker..

...its with the fallopean tube.
they believe I have a cyst on or in it.

scheduled me for an ultra sound this morning.. but i couldnt get one.
i owe g-town hospital too much money from my surgery.. so no ultra-sound for me.
they said its not life or death.....


anything that could be wrong with my tubes can become a serious life threatening problem.

they want me to fill out a bunch of paper work.. and then pull a $100.00 deposit out of my ass.

i think if it gets bad before I file for medicaid.. then I'm going to go to a different hospital.

i'm still nauseated. I get like that through out the day and alot of times after consumption of food.

my left lower abdomen hurts alot on and off.

well theres your update with the sick part of me.

I'm frustrated and upset.. cause I'm always sick!
and its never really anything little either.

I'm a good person.. I'm good to people... i help people whatever I can do... ...i think..
so why am I always having to deal with this shit?!

and now... this is effecting something big...
I want kids one day.. 6 of them..that is one thing I really look forward to in my life, is being a mom.
and this is my fallopan tube....and if the cyst burst.. i could possibly have to have that ovarie and tube removed.. or possibly the whole baby maker.
Its scary.
Jason keeps telling me to calm down.. things will be ok...
but I cant help but to be scared and upset. Even if I get the money together for an ultra-sound, I'm still going to have to see a gyn.
that takes money...
we dont have money..
we are scraping by to get an x-mas present for each of the girls.. cause they dont understand the poor thing.. they are too young.

it just sucks.

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