something is terribly wrong2004-04-05 21:24:00 ET

he stopped talking to me.

he doesnt come to me.

he wont smile at me.

|le tear|

hot but no fever2004-04-05 13:51:05 ET


i feel like poo.

i feel hot, but have no fever, i feel sooo stuffed up, but i am not.

i want to lay in bed, i wonder if i shud make a doc appt is this continues.

i am goin to try and settle down, nbot stop but calm down the partying, and let the boi kno.

i kno its whut he wants to hear, and this is a huge huge sacrafice, but i kno its whut he wants.


hop on a bandwagon (marks on his soul)2004-04-04 22:53:50 ET


1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says: Freud and others also used cocaine to feel better. There is no evidence that he became addicted, only that he experienced extensively.

2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?: Nothing

3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?: My So-Called Life on dvd

WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is: 1am?

5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?: 12:42 am

6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
She's in a bad mood - Sonic Youth

7: When did you last step outside? what were you doing?: This Morning in a pile of slush and mud, i was going to work, and hour late, becuz of the hour change i forgot to make.

8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?: My face

9: What are you wearing?: a black skull skates tee and spongebob pajama pants

10: Did you dream last night? Yes , there was a huge ass party.

11: When did you last laugh? Whilist, talking to myg ood friend mikeon the phone telling him ab0ut the time i puked on the bus, (long adventurous story) seems as trho it was in a movie.

12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?: Silk Band Flags, Posters, Grafitti Framed Art, Skate Company Banners. Family Photos, Marilyn Monroe Calander

13: Seen anything weird lately?: Yeh this bruise in a very odd place on my body, and i have no clue how it got there.

14: What do you think of this quiz?: Meh, i decided i whud finally fill one out.

15: What is the last film you saw?: The Dark Crystal

16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?: A PLane Ticket To Vancouver

17: Tell me something about you that I don't know: who is this "I" person.

18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?: Shit , i dunno. too many things.

19: Do you like to dance?: Yep, but I never go dancing anymore.

20: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?: Chloe

21: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?: Deacon

22: Would you ever consider living abroad?: Jah.

23: Will you pass on this survey?: Probably not.

how do you confront people?2004-04-04 13:47:25 ET

the new boi is acting strange since the other night.

and i really want to fix it, and talk to him, but he seems distant, and i am not too sure how to approach him.

i sense that alot of it has to do with boi #1 and he probably thinks there is something goin on with us (just like everyone else) and A big part of it is my drug use, and my reaction to the bitch who was all over him the other night.

i think its alot of uncomfortable strange non confrontational subjects.

so how the fukk are we suppose to talk about it and work thru it if we cant even talk about it.

i can tell we are both really coinfused, but i think he may have given up. kinda seems that way.

i am goin to cry. help. i cant lose him. this is so junior high i am sick of it.


reality bites2004-04-03 23:45:12 ET

funny i havent seen this movie in forever.

just watching it again now.

and laughing at how much me and my best friend are like troy and lelanea. and the way their relationship is.


and the whole 2 boys thing.

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