2010-10-10 18:26:05 ET

I actually had a pretty nice birthday.

Went to dinner Saturday night with my parents and my lover to the local Melting Pot. My parents got me a zebra rug for the living room, an AppleTV, $25 Applebees's giftcard, and $25 Starbuck's giftcard. My maternal grandparents also sent me $60.

Today, Greg and I spent a few hours trying to find me a nice dog to adopt. Partially for me and partially because we think Mona (his American Bull Dog) will behave better with a friend. Ended up finding a well-trained, housebroken, but skittish Austrian Shepard and Golden Retriever mix who's 10 months old. He is amazing. He's been my shadow all night and doesn't leave my side. His name is Rex. Sometime this week I'll try to get a pic of the dogs and maybe of us.

2010-10-09 08:58:07 ET

The money made me happy for a few hours. Then it didn't. A month later it was about gone. The clothes made me happy for a few minutes then I just felt silly like I was wearing a costume. The sex made me happy for a few hours until it didn't. The exquisite sushi made me happy for a few minutes until it didn't. The new place made me happy for a few days until it didn't. The change in scenery made me happy for a few minutes then it didn't. He made me happy for a few months until he didn't. And happiness is always fleeting and always replaced by immense sorrow.

2010-10-02 15:18:58 ET

So, today I was randomly depressed and spent the morning in bed staring at the ceiling. I have two lovely poetic creations to share.


My motivation's all run up
Used up all my luck - and then some
My will to live has run dry
My idols have all been crucified
So I think I'll lay here
Just let me lay here

Or maybe I'll hope on my god damn bike
And ride out to the golden gate
And beg the sea for answers
But the sea is like any other guy
Always gets quiet at the most inopportune time

So I might just have to let em have it
And throw myself in to the pacific
But with the way my shit luck's been
I'll probably miss and hit the rocks
Because that just seems to be my luck
That just seems to be my luck these days

You know your life boat has capsized
When everything you hear is another fucking lie
And you beg the stars for one good line
For those fuckers to remember you by


2) eclectic symphony stuck in my head
grinding teeth and acid safari screams
bounty hunter explores the sahara in the challenger ship
klaus nomi is hanging from the rearview mirror in bobble-head form

seamonsters slithering past your door
antique lace adorns their horns
with predator skills and chemical wars
they've got more than enough agent orange

blindly obey what the tv overlords say
to the glazed eyes worshipping their screens
the progressive lady walks through walls
her demonic prowess lines these halls

i've got to cut off my limbs and realign
before i run out of time
but Andrei Chikatilo and I share a sign

suction cup spiders lay eggs on your brainwaves
their eyes are bulging with every pulse

2010-09-29 08:13:00 ET

I love my hung curtains, my pretty bike, and the awesome individual who has spent hours and possibly days doing all of the above for me. :D

I also love my new place, my new hair, and my life right now.

Also, my birthday is coming up - 10/10/10. *SQUEEE* I know my mom has gotten me a zebra rug for our living room and maybe the new Apple TV. Sometime soon I'm going to take pictures of the interior and such for you all to see. :)

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