Moving Back to Florida
2010-09-14 13:34:59 ET

Greg and I have decided that since our landlord won't repair the bathroom which has a leak behind the wall, the shower wall is cracking has holes and is falling in that we're using the opportunity to move back to Tampa.

Also, incase anyone else was considering switching to Lybrel I'm now half way through the second pack and have had zero bleeding other than for the first week (which was the week I was supposed to bleed anyway). I'm a little moody, I don't think I'm anymore moody than I was on Yaz. I will say though after the 3rd week of the 1st pack I'm a lot less teary. It was really bad for awhile, crying spells a few times a day, not knowing whether I wanted to fuck his brains out of chop him up in to little pieces... yeah. It was fun. But, I gotta give him credit for sticking through that.

Also, I trimmed my hair a bit, my ends are getting nasty. So, hopefully this will help it spring back a bit before a new color project when I get back to the Bay.

2010-09-10 07:59:14 ET

I'm seriously considering trying to apply for SSI.

I don't know what to do. I can't hold a job. When I try to it just doesn't work. I get so anxious and I just leave. Or I stare at the clock intently feeling the pressure in my chest waiting to leave.

2010-09-08 15:34:44 ET

Sometimes I like to enjoy a few rum & cokes and think.

Today has been one of those days.

Today, I've been thinking about how much my life changed when I got the bike. I also had a close call earlier and realized Scott isn't an asshole for not wanting me to get a bike, he was just concerned for my safety. He wasn't as much of a jerk as I thought he was but we were not compatible in many regards.

So, if I didn't get on the bike I'd be more introverted. I used to actually be scared of people. I'm not so much scared of people anymore for the most part I just hate most of them. Admittedly, I never know how to act in situations that call for being friendly either and often come off wrong.

Through the bikes I became really close with two other females in to bikes. They've become a really good support system for me and I for them (I hope.)

If I didn't get the bike I wouldn't have met Greg. I just don't think I would have caught his eye otherwise. Or even if I would've I would have misinterpreted his interest as being friendly because hot guys on bikes don't go for fat chicks, right?

I wouldn't have lost the 20ish pounds I've lost. It might be more than that. I'm scared of scales. Honestly, I'm petrified. I do know that my size 20 Old Navy jeans and my size 18 Dickies jeans are falling off. I'm kind of scared to get new jeans because I fear that maybe these have just stretched out and I haven't really shrunk at all.

Also, I got my eyebrows threaded for the first time today. They look fucking awesome. I highly recommend threading.

2010-08-30 16:50:36 ET

Theres a certain kick that can only be gotten from making yourself disappear in front of your eyes. Baby, I won't stop until I can bang tin cups up and down these ribs that are the bars to my prison.

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