got a new computer
2004-04-03 23:15:15 ET

holy shit am i glad our old computer got fucked up cause

we got a new one and its so much better uhh im so happy

but yeah so theirs been a lot of stuff going on here i

dont really want to say right now cause im far to lazy to

type it all but do time my friends do time


damn yous computer!!!!
2004-03-30 06:45:34 ET

oh man its been hella dayz since ive added a journal entry

but my comp has failed me... it completely crashed because

we had like 13 viruses and yeah so this sucks balls but

anyways a lot has happened i broke up with kyle and it was

all good though i mean i feel hella awful about it but it

was for the best and me and fabian are doing ok i dunno \

whats going on with us but yeah so lately ive been going to

the beach a lot for like 3wks straight every saturday ive

been there and its great umm ive met hella cool people and

its good to be with other people for a change and not have

to be around all my old friends cause they were really

starting to bug but yeah so tonight is the Aussie- Pink

Floyd cover band concert i know its not like the real band

but hey its all i can get for being born generations later

but yeah im really excited about it it should be a kick ass



One of the best weekends.......
2004-03-15 20:57:26 ET

holy shit this weekend was so good on fryday my brother

came to pick me up from school in his new car (97 Silver

Eclipse) its pretty sick but anyways he brought his friend

fabian with him and i dunno hes hella cool but anyways so

we went back to my house and got blasted and then we went

to his friends house and its so awesome its fucking hella

sick anyways it was chill cause me and his friend hella

talked and shit and hes hella cool well anyways later that

night we all got faded and it was chill i have to admit i

cheated on kyle with my bros friend but it was all good

cause fabian is such a cool guy and i dunno me and him just

hella connected that night you know it was strange usually

i dont really talk to my borthers friends and shit or like

if i do it takes me a while to feel comfortable around them

but with him it was totally different like i felt like i

knew him for a long time but this was my second time

meeting him i dunno anyways saturday was hella bomb too me

my bro and fabian went to the beach and smoked a bunch and

boozed a little and my brother was pretty burned out when

we got home and he passed out and then got up when the

pizza got there and when it was gone he was gone back to

sleep anyways me and fabian were in the backyard chillin

when we see my bro get up and start eating some banana

cream pie and then drank a shit load of water and went to

his room it was hella funny but anyways then on sunday i

went to fabians again and kicked it with my brothers friend

erik and his friend john and me and john started reading

about hella shit in the guinness book of world records and

shit it was crazy i dunno this weekend was just so awesome

and just i dont even know what to call it, it was just one

adventure after the other and even today was hella cool too

i went with my bro so he could get his windows tinted and

while we were waiting we went to peir 1 imports and i got a

leapored print lamp for 3.25 because it was broken and i

fixed it well i mean not completely but ill deal with that

shit later then i went on a hike with my bro and john it

was hella fun and i dunno life is great right now and

everything is just going great finally some good KARMA is

coming my way.... uhh but i dont know what im gonna do

about the fabian situation cause i dunno how im gonna tell

kyle its over cause we've only been together a month and

that aint shit but i dunno i really like fabian and hes

more mature and i dunno hes everything i look for in a guy

like he has direction and shit i dunno what im gonna do???


Requiem for a Dream (such a good book)
2004-03-08 19:49:10 ET

Everybody started taking their money out and Gogit put the

heroin on the table and scooped up the money. Lets go git

it on. Everyone left the office and started roaming around

the dimlit refigeration room, reaching down cracks,

crevices, under floorplates, behind machinery, between

loose bricks, for their works. No matter how many other

sets they might have stashed around town, everyone always

had a set stashed in the Bronx County Morgue. They went

back to the office, got paper cups filled with water and

each one staked out a small portion of the floor for

themselves. The radio was still playing but the

concentration was so intense that no one heard the music or

was aware of anything but their own cooker as they

carefully dumped the heroin in it, then added the water and

heated it until the dope dissolved, then drew the liquid up

through the cotton in the cooker into the dropper, then

tied up. Each knew they were not alone in the room, but

paid absolutely no attention to what was going on around

them. When their favorite vein was ready they tapped the

needle into it and watched the first bubble of blood pulse

through the fluid and streak to the surface, their eyes

glued to it, their senses aware only of the fact that they

got a good hit and that their stomachs were churning with

anticipation and then they squeezed the bulb and shot the

shit into their vein and waited for the first rush and then

let the dropper fill with blood again and squeezed that in

and then booted again and went with the flow as they

flushed and felt the sweat ooze from their skin then filled

their droppers with water and let their works set in the

cup of water while they leaned back agains the wall and lit

a cigarette, their movements slow, their eyes half closed,

everything inside them quiet and mellow; the air smooth,

their lives free from all concerns; their speech slower,



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