not sure....

2004-04-29 19:38:20 ET this week has gone by so quick its strange to know that im gonna be out of school in 5 weeks i mean its great but its like where the hell did the year go... it went by so quick its crazy but anyways ive decided to go sober... its crazy i know cause im always drinking or doing other things but ive decided to do this for me because when i drink i just drink way to much and then i black out and dont remember things for hours at a time its really scary and im tired of making an ass of myself thats also why im gonna stop really kickin it with some people for a while too till some things boil over i dunno i think im just gonna keep to myself for the next few weeks till summer starts cause i really need to focus on getting my shit together i dunno i think ive gone depressed i just have felt so lonely lately and i dont know why cause usually im always up beat and happy things have been doing really good lately too well except for some things but i mean just i dunno i cant even explain i think im just lonely cause i want a b/f really bad and i havent been able to find a good one and i hate walking around all the time and see how happy people are with their b/f's and g/f's it just sucks ass cause i really wanna have that bond with someone and be close to someone and love someone like that but i know thats not going to happen anytime soon and as hard as i try to find a guy its like they dont respond....FUCK i hate this 2 comments

Paper Bag

2004-04-28 13:11:47 ET I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star To pray on, or wish on, or something like that I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy Whose reality I knew, was a hopeless to be had But then the dove of hope began its downward slope And I believed for a moment that my chances Were approaching to be grabbed But as it came down near, so did a weary tear -I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag -Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills Cuz I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up I got to fold cuz these hands are too shaky to hold -Hunger hurts, but starving works, When it costs too much to love And I went crazy again today, Looking for a strand to climb Looking for a little hope Baby said he couldn't stay, wouldn't put his lips to mine, And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope I said, "Honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified Come on put a little love here in my void," - he said "It's all in your head," and I said, "So's everything" - But he didn't get it - I thought he was a man But he was just a little boy -Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills Cuz I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up I got to fold cuz these hands are too shaky to hold -Hunger hurts, but starving works, When it costs too much to love 5 comments

Woah

2004-04-26 19:57:12 ET Enneagram Test Results Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||| 40% Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||| 52% Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||| 38% Type 4 Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 49% Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||||| 57% Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||||| 67% Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 69% Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||| 61% Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||||| 78% Take Free Enneagram Word Test personality tests by similarminds.com

HAPPY 420

2004-04-20 21:10:13 ET ahhh todays 420 although it is a very joyous holiday full of herbs and fun it was not such a great day for me well i mean it started out really awesome but then like everyone was off get blazed without me and it fuckin sucked ass but i dunno today was just a chill relaxed day i got to see hedwig and the angry inch and freeway 2 very awesome movies i dunno though i wish today would've been better oh well ill have a better one next year 5 comments

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