arh    2006-04-11 10:39:13 ET
im at the hospital with dad.

i hate it here

i just want him better.

to update you on whats wrong with him

i went home on sunday to pick up some furniture for the house

mom and dad had bought some horses and they were spending the day trying to break them in

i was over at the house
playing the piano (not that i can) in the sun room
i looked out the window
and i see one of the horses freaking out
and then dad goes flying off and to the ground

mom goes running to him
i Burst out of the house and jump on the 4x4
and high tail it over to him

mom screams to call 911

i go back to the house
grab a cell

go back to dad

i try the best i can to keep him comfortable
but mom nor i could do much

my brother goes to the road to show the ambulance where to go

2 minutes later he comes back
covered in mud

he wrecked the 4x4
bad road rash on is arm

the ambulance comes
we get him on a stretcher and we all carry him to the ambulance

before we even got out of the driveway
the ambulance stops

the driver comes out and says his blood pressure dropped
and they are going to fly him to Lexington

so i drive mom brother and a friend up the interstate
to lexington
i didnt let the suburban slow below 100 mph

we get here

hes stable
they find he has 6 broken ribs
a broken collar bone
and they think they thought maybe internal bleeding

they keep him in the ER about 7 hours

then move him to a room

i go home

next morning im back

leave an hour later to run some errands

at about 6 my aunt calls me

she tells me that dad is doing bad

i get here in a hurry

what happened is

his blood oxygen level dropped below 50%
he was unresponsive
and his skin color was blue

we almost lost him...

but now im here
staying with him
to keep him company and safe
from anything happening like yesterday

 to all    2006-04-03 12:23:14 ET

in the beginning

there was an idea.

this idea began inside a head that was full.

full of dread,
and self pity.

the idea was very bright as compared to others that the mind had thought of.

it involved a group of people that meant the world to him

it was an idea that would hopefully bring them together,
making all ideals understood and supported.

and so the mind carried on with a thought, a whim, and a hope.

but something went wrong

and the mind began to second guess himself
and became afraid of what he had done

and out of fear he ran

like a child

and becuase of the fear he had

a war flared between the group.

this is a war over an idea, and and action.

but little did the mind realize that the idea was no idea at all
only a hopeless ideal.

and so the group split in two

and they fought

hell, along with everything in it had been unchained

the intentions were never to harm anyone
he wanted to find himself
discover what he could do
while still having a group to support him

he was sorry that he started all things
but he knew there was nothing he could do

he just hoped that maybe the groups
would just stop
and look at themselves

for they were doing nothing but acting like children

acting selfish over something that only one person can control
love and intentions

the friends &
the lovers

he wanted them to try to understand his situation

but they never did

they were to concerned with winning the war

and in the end...

the only person that died from all of the gunfire between the two sides

was the one who started it all.

with any war
there are casualties

and with any war
the ones who survive

block out what had happened
to the through the times

and move on with their lives and loves

and the memories of the ones who fought for peace

are forgotten.

1 comment

 Thats all    2006-03-22 14:07:12 ET
Well.....all i have to say now is that....

I told mom about me and thomas.

the feelings i have now are so mixed
that i dont know what im doing.

she cried.

so did i.

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