Hard time keeping up.    2003-10-19 08:02:30 ET

ive fallen out and thought that it would never happen again could it be that she does understand im just to afraid to let her know i was so screwed with that now i dont know what to do i cant let myself become like this i know that it can happen im not going to let this happen im going to overcome this i have to move on i may be falling back in she understands she can feel she isnt afraid like the other but i am the one who is afraid now i try not to be i must get out of this i will be normal again i must love will become again hope. 2 comments

Von Brigši    2003-10-18 18:45:26 ET

my sigur ros cd collection is complete i now have Von Brigši which is sigur ros's 2nd cd its a remix cd they let difrent bands remix their songs and it is GREAT im happy it was a B-day present from Casey and i love her for it!!! fellings in me are very numb anymore i feel like i cant love i feel numb to everything why can i not feel love i receve it but i cant process it my emotions were toyed with too much i dont know why i stood for it it was a mistake but mistakes lead to victories but will this one i dont know i ache but i cant feel it i feel like an empty metal box with nothing to hope for will i ever feel loved again i feel like the only thing i can do is lay in a bed and stare at the celing im so empty and tired the only thing that keeps me alive is music you live with this feeling of love and hope and one day it kicks you in the teeth your left alone sitting in a dark room with no hope of light ever finding you and now i dont know how to live i just want affection but ive been so messed with that now i am afraid to express my affections with people it was always a fucking SIN to to that stuff in public dont want to share this with other people who gives a shit about what other people think do it for you dont become like me regret.

Femidoms    2003-10-18 09:46:03 ET

nathan is crazy... he was joking about female condoms and i said Femidoms and thats what our bands working name is now... according to him any way the pratice was fun we are working on a song already and this morning i came up with one on the keyboards so im very excited now the set up (for now) is Me: Guitar, Keyboards (sound effects type stuff), and AV (if we find it) Nathan: Basoon, Keyboards (more piano chords stuff) Ashton: Cello and or violin Casey: Violin so far its great i love it and i cant wait to play the thing i made up this morning on the keyboard its very cool so now. musicly im happy. 10 comments

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