Again - Not original, but damn funny.

2005-08-23 13:13:19 ET What's the Worst that Could Happen? ------------------------------------- Francesco Marciuliano After a nice, long vacation you come home to find your dog wearing your clothes, answering to your name and pointing a gun at your head. What you had always believed was a childhood alien abduction proves, under hypnosis, to have been an exceedingly unpleasant weekend with your uncle instead. After 10 years of home schooling your children you discover that the film “History of the World Part One” was in fact a joke. Authorities trace all those threatening phone calls you’ve been receiving to your split personality. While enjoying a late night swim you notice that “Beware of sharks” is listed as Number Five under “Pool Rules.” You wake up from anesthesia to hear the surgeon say, “Wait, does renal mean liver or kidney?” You accomplish all 12 steps in AA and attain full sobriety only to learn that you’re still a complete asshole. One day it dawns on you that you were not so much “adopted” as “won,” that you don’t so much originally hail from “Europe” as “a travelling carnival” and that you’re not so much “human” as “a large, pink teddy bear.” Your homemade robot achieves full artificial intelligence the very moment you realize you need his parts for your kit car. While attending a science exhibit with your high school class you’re bitten by a radioactive spider, causing you to vomit acid on all your meals to aid in digestion. The leprechaun informs you that “Neapolitan ice cream” counts for all three of your magic wishes. You find as the last surviving human of nuclear Armageddon you now have all the time and privacy in the world with which to read, only to be mauled by a bear. While driving drunk you smash into a clown car, resulting in 46 personal injury lawsuits. As President of the United States you introduce the Premier of China to the melodic strains of “Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting.” Terrorists attack the Shoney’s where you’ve been working for the past 20 years but fail to kill you. 2 comments

You are cordially invited!!

2005-08-19 06:54:44 ET Come, join Los Hombres Solos for our last banquet before married life takes us both! Come to the 3rd Annual 8-30-02 Banquet this year the banquet will be held at The Copperhead Grille In Center Valley, PA. on August 30, 2005 Stop by between 9pm-midnight, to celebrate being alive and not stuck in New Jersey! It's Tuesday night, and all y'all DSU Grads know what that means - It's Karaoke Night!! So for good friends, good fun, good conversation, and bad singing, We'll see you all at the 8-30-02 Banquet. To RSVP or with any questions, thederudeboy@cs.com For directions, look towards the bottom of the page. To the Copperhead from the South I-476 / PA Turnpike North to the Quakertown Exit 663 N to 309 309 N to 378 378 N The Copperhead is on the Right for more info call - 610-282-4600 To the Copperhead from I-78 I-78 to 309 S 309 S to 378 378 N The Copperhead is on the Right for more info call - 610-282-4600

yup.

2005-08-16 04:18:38 ET I'm gonna need a new car. 1 comment

*sigh* Good Grief.

2005-08-12 10:05:21 ET I am whoooped. and tired. And I don't know what I'm doing tommorrow. Thank you all very much. Goodnight! 4 comments

www.skaweekend.com/

2005-08-03 09:41:39 ET Just goes to show how far out of the scene I've wandered that I missed this! Not that I would have gone, mind you. If I missed the Ska Summit in Vegas a couple years back, then Knoxville? Forget it. But I at least would have liked to know about it so I could whine to my fiancee. Hey wait - it was actually on the day I proposed. hah hah hah. How bout that. hmph. *ponders that for a minute* Well - que cera. I'd certainly like to get back into listening to ska, find some new bands and such. Maybe when I'm settled and have disposable income again. Yep, boy, am I looking forward to 2025. Think the Slackers'll still be touring? 3 comments

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