2010-12-08 20:25:06 ET

got a text from matt today from his work phone.

weird because he never texts me from that phone because it's personal business and plus it's an international text message. I hope he doesn't get in trouble at work :/

He said he was sorry for snapping at me last night when i was just trying to help.

He's never even entertained the idea of texting me so maybe this is like he was thinking about it at work and it couldn't wait til he got home?

I hope this is a sign things will get better...

2010-12-07 12:49:03 ET

I wish that none of the bad had happened. I wish you would give me a chance to prove i'm not out to hurt you or Tristan. I wish we could go back to how we were before all of this. I miss us being perfect. I miss counting down days with you and now I'm not even sure if I'll see you again ever. That scares me and makes me more sad than I could ever be.

I want to keep you. Please give me a chance to prove that I'm not as bad as your brain is making me out to be.

also..2010-12-06 05:18:31 ET

Matt was telling me last night about his money hardships and how he really wants to decorate for Christmas but he can't cause he can't afford the decorations. I really wanna send him a small box of tinsel but I know he'd see it as charity. Ugh.

I feel bad and he insists on getting me a christmas present even when I told him he didn't have to.

Boys and their pride...but oddly it's one of the things I love most about him...that he insists on taking care of me even when he has next to nothing.

I want forever. Very much.
1 comment

Weighed and Measured2010-12-06 04:50:10 ET

So matt and i had a 3 hour convo last night about alot of things. Us fighting lately, Me being in and out of Tristan's life, and the fact that I want kids and he's not sure if he wants more...

He admitted it's his fault that we've been fighting because he has a hard time telling me what's up in his head and what's wrong right away. He's afraid that me being in and out of Tristan's life will mess with Tristan's head. We discussed kids a long time ago and kind of decided that it's stupid to fight over something that may or may not happen, so we'd just take it day by day. Apparently that whole thing has been weighing on him cause he doesn't want me to move my life up there and him disappoint me by saying he still doesn't want kids.

He said that breaking up with me is by no means the easy route cause he'd lose a great girlfriend and a friend. He said he has alot of thinking to do.

I'm supposed to go up there in 20 days...I'm so scared...I just wanna spend some time with him. I really think it would help. I just hope he doesn't freak out and break up with me before I have a chance to get through this with him...

I'm trying to stay positive, but I'm not sure how...I feel like this is hopeless...

2010-12-05 12:56:42 ET

I love how distance makes everything 20 times bigger than it is.

Matt had a friend over and didn't answer a facebook message cause he forgot. usually i wouldn't care and just talk to him later but for some reason this was life ending to me this week.

21 days...21 days...21 days...
1 comment

Jump to page: [Previous] 1 « 14 15 16 17 18 » 52 [Next]
Back to *heather*'s page