being a girl = suck2011-01-01 07:19:52 ET

I hate it when things are going perfectly fine in a relationship then when something slightly out of the ordinary happens it makes it seem like all that good never even happened.

I recognize the fact that i get upset about things that don't matter really quickly and unfortunately since I haven't had a reliable female sounding board readily available to me here, it usually gets bigger in my head than it really is.

Last night matt was joking with an old guy friend about how they're going to have a threesome with me and stuff. honestly it was hilarious cause i know this guy friend and i know there's no weird threesome threat to my relationship.

Coupled with the fact that matt hadn't seen some of the people at our party last night in a very long time he was off with them on the balcony smoking or whatever at lots of random times.

My lovely girl brain, and the vodka i was drinking, decided that this meant he didn't give a shit if i was at this party or not if he was just going to go off with his friends and ignore me. *sigh*

So realizing i was making a mountain out of a grain of sand, i went out on the balcony to get some air and chill. Matt, being the caring guy he is, comes out to check on me.

I told him i didn't wanna bring it up cause it was stupid and i just needed a minute to realize how stupid it was. he kept pushing so i told him.

he looked at me and said "'re're going to lose a guy?"

i started tearing up cause he was getting it so wrong and it didn't even matter in the first place. so i told him to forget it and rejoined him inside where i explained my need to have a few minutes alone sometimes to sort out my brain and tell myself "srsly? THIS is what you're upset about? You're dumb..."

I hate it when shit like that happens. Cause once you say it out loud to someone you sound like a total jackass for being upset about it in the first place, but by then that person already thinking you're a drama queen so really no one wins.

Ugh. Sometimes being a girl fucking blows.

thx for reading if you did..haha

christmas mystery solved!2010-12-30 17:39:44 ET

about a month ago my best friend malia and matt started scheming about my christmas present. as curious as i was, i kinda hoped the surprise would last.

i did! Matt took me to the bookstore tonight and told me to pick out an art therapy book. he knows i've been wanting to study it for months and he said ever since i told him he's been wanting to buy me some books on it. i nearly cried at that...

unfortunately all the books at that store were sold out so he bought me a book on van gough and monet, two of my favorite artists.

I love that he thought of something unique to me rather than the typical dozen roses and teddy bear or something...those books mean so much more to me knowing they came from a place where he knows how much i love art.

I def wanna keep him forever. <3

2010-12-28 07:15:12 ET

Excited about going to North Bay this weekend to see Corey and Lana and get DRUNK with the Canadians. lol.

Matt had to work today. boo. I wanted to stay home with him and watching cartoons all day like yesterday. Haa...

Trying to figure out the bus schedule since I don't have my car with me this time. It doesn't help that it's part in French. :/

2010-12-27 11:05:22 ET

here =]

New fuckin haircut bro!2010-12-25 05:34:16 ET

(if you've seen the video that's funny...)

anyway, new haircut!


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