I feel ok about not being with Daniel at the moment, but I know when I see him on the third all the feelings will be back.
I will probably cry again and that will suck, but I know someday maybe if we are still intouch we will be together. He loves me, and he tells me that. I know when he is honest, just by looking in his eyes. The first time I fall in love its too late, and he realized that he dosnt want to hurt me worse than he already has. Fuck it I say if it is ment to be then it is ment to be. But I dont know if it really is. He is so young and I am not so young, but I am in love with him. I hate that he is not here, I want him to call me on his birthday, but I know that he wont. He will be at the cementary sitting on his son and daughters graves. Its so sad how much he had to grow up in such a short time. Not biologicly his children but he took care of them like they were his own, and now that they are gone he feels so guilty that he couldnt be there for them for the last few months.
I love him, but right now I think its better that we arnt together, although I know that when I see him in two weeks all will be pain, and too much that I am not sure wether I can go back and face him.
Never want to feel so helpless again. I hate that I let him in my heart, or rather that I let him drill a hole in my titanium wall around my heart.
Just needed to write, or rather type all the feelings. Sorry if I bothered you.
~Crys
You Are a Dreaming Soul |
 Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you awy from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul |
You Are the Individualist |
4 You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself. You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable. You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt. Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel. |