Blast away to the Moooon!
2004-06-02 10:05:22 ET

I am spanking my monkey


Ich verprgele meinen Affen


I flog my ape
1 comment

Bad Goth Poetry
2004-06-01 22:25:06 ET

the cold rain falls on my face
awakening me to blistering existance
i feel my flesh decay and rot
and i pray for oblivion

i search for hope
perhaps the northern winds will take me
grasp me in their frigid fingers
and forever close my eyes

my heart's aflutter from the thought
and yet my joyous despair shatters
this shadow facing me
cold, condenscending, it is all that matters

i slowly realize where i am in horror
as sweat tears on my brow descend with me so ever further
as i utter
that horrid pentacle of words
"May I take your order?"

Evil Ed Thomspson
2004-06-01 20:28:32 ET


Seamen Training Day (2002) (V) (as Stephan Bordeaux)

Famous Again (1998)
Gay Men In Uniform (1998) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Guys Who Crave Big Cocks (1998) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Halfway House Hunks (1998) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Private Temptations (1998) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Quick Study: Sex Ed 1 (1998) (V) (as Sam Ritter) .... Woodwork Teacher
Big Screw Up, The (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Black Men, White Men (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Buff and Gay (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Butt Blazer (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Cock Pit (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Manhunt (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Motel Sex (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Transsexual Prostitues 2 (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Transsexual Prostitutes (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Hunk Hotel (1996) (V) .... Updyke
Just 18 and Gay (1996) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Latin Crotch Rockets (1996) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Mechanics bi Day, Lube Job bi Night (1995) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Virtual Stud (1995) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Sex on the Beach (1994/II) (V) (as Sam Ritter)
Wild Blade (1991) .... Colt
Moon 44 (1990) .... Cookie
... aka Intruder (1990)

Chair, The (1989) .... Roach
... aka Hot Seat (1989)
Road Raiders, The (1989) (TV) .... Einstein
976-EVIL (1989) .... Hoax
At Close Range (1986) .... Aggie
Fright Night (1985) .... Evil Ed Thompson
Fraternity Vacation (1985) .... Wendell Tvedt
Heaven Help Us (1985) .... Williams
... aka Catholic Boys (1985)

I miss the little bastard.
2004-05-29 19:44:40 ET


The Long Lost Vanilla Ice Song
2004-05-28 11:12:06 ET

Nod your head to the disco beat
Listen to the music while I beat my meat
Find me in the graveyard I am a romancer
Work my magic on the ladies like a necromancer
But please don't call me a necrophile
Cause while I fuck the dead I fuck them with style
In the butt in the uterus eye sockets nose
Formaldehyde as lube cause anything goes
It all goes back to when I was three
I solved my mystery in therapy
I was three and she was sixty eight
She died on her knees while giving me head
Doctors said suffocation's what caused her to go
Apparently my wad got lodged in her throat
During the funeral it was an open coffin
I almost got busted while bumpin and tossin
When I grew up my secret stayed with me
While I stayed at the mortuary
If you died on my shift you were fair game
I've done my fair share of the dead but never knew one name
I'm the type your parents warned you about
Masked by the heavy fog with my cock hanging out
You're groping around cause you can't see
What was that you touched a pole or a tree
No you jackass it's my barky cock
Hanging out my trousers looking for a fuck
It's got more branches than oaken wood
I'd shoot my load like acorns if I could I would
But I can't so I shant never tell me to repent
If I ever wanted to I still cant
But I dont want to understand
I'm like swamp thing below the waist
All the vegetarians crave my penis taste
It's got more protein than a soy milkshake
and all the meat from the pigs in fucking swine lake
Hey if you're dead let me show you what it's all about
Take my pants off Vanilla Ice in the house
1 comment

2004-05-17 14:03:39 ET

I was 100% sober when I made this:

2004-05-12 12:45:50 ET

My reality has just been shattered. I have found out that Family Matters was actually a spin-off of Perfect Strangers.

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