Blast away to the Moooon!

2004-06-02 10:05:22 ET http://www.google.com/language_tools?hl=en I am spanking my monkey = Ich verprügele meinen Affen = I flog my ape 1 comment

Bad Goth Poetry

2004-06-01 22:25:06 ET the cold rain falls on my face awakening me to blistering existance i feel my flesh decay and rot and i pray for oblivion i search for hope perhaps the northern winds will take me grasp me in their frigid fingers and forever close my eyes my heart's aflutter from the thought and yet my joyous despair shatters this shadow facing me cold, condenscending, it is all that matters i slowly realize where i am in horror as sweat tears on my brow descend with me so ever further as i utter that horrid pentacle of words "May I take your order?" 9 comments

Evil Ed Thomspson

2004-06-01 20:28:32 ET Filmography Seamen Training Day (2002) (V) (as Stephan Bordeaux) Famous Again (1998) Gay Men In Uniform (1998) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Guys Who Crave Big Cocks (1998) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Halfway House Hunks (1998) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Private Temptations (1998) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Quick Study: Sex Ed 1 (1998) (V) (as Sam Ritter) .... Woodwork Teacher Big Screw Up, The (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Black Men, White Men (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Buff and Gay (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Butt Blazer (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Cock Pit (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Manhunt (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Motel Sex (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Transsexual Prostitues 2 (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Transsexual Prostitutes (1997) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Hunk Hotel (1996) (V) .... Updyke Just 18 and Gay (1996) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Latin Crotch Rockets (1996) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Mechanics bi Day, Lube Job bi Night (1995) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Virtual Stud (1995) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Sex on the Beach (1994/II) (V) (as Sam Ritter) Wild Blade (1991) .... Colt Moon 44 (1990) .... Cookie ... aka Intruder (1990) Chair, The (1989) .... Roach ... aka Hot Seat (1989) Road Raiders, The (1989) (TV) .... Einstein 976-EVIL (1989) .... Hoax At Close Range (1986) .... Aggie Fright Night (1985) .... Evil Ed Thompson Fraternity Vacation (1985) .... Wendell Tvedt Heaven Help Us (1985) .... Williams ... aka Catholic Boys (1985)

I miss the little bastard.

2004-05-29 19:44:40 ET 6 comments

The Long Lost Vanilla Ice Song

2004-05-28 11:12:06 ET Nod your head to the disco beat Listen to the music while I beat my meat Find me in the graveyard I am a romancer Work my magic on the ladies like a necromancer But please don't call me a necrophile Cause while I fuck the dead I fuck them with style In the butt in the uterus eye sockets nose Formaldehyde as lube cause anything goes It all goes back to when I was three I solved my mystery in therapy I was three and she was sixty eight She died on her knees while giving me head Doctors said suffocation's what caused her to go Apparently my wad got lodged in her throat During the funeral it was an open coffin I almost got busted while bumpin and tossin When I grew up my secret stayed with me While I stayed at the mortuary If you died on my shift you were fair game I've done my fair share of the dead but never knew one name I'm the type your parents warned you about Masked by the heavy fog with my cock hanging out You're groping around cause you can't see What was that you touched a pole or a tree No you jackass it's my barky cock Hanging out my trousers looking for a fuck It's got more branches than oaken wood I'd shoot my load like acorns if I could I would But I can't so I shant never tell me to repent If I ever wanted to I still cant But I dont want to understand I'm like swamp thing below the waist All the vegetarians crave my penis taste It's got more protein than a soy milkshake and all the meat from the pigs in fucking swine lake Hey if you're dead let me show you what it's all about Take my pants off Vanilla Ice in the house 1 comment

STAND BY YOUR MAAAAAAAAN

2004-05-17 14:03:39 ET I was 100% sober when I made this: http://www.enamon.com/SergeySoundsAwful.mp3 3 comments

2004-05-12 12:45:50 ET My reality has just been shattered. I have found out that Family Matters was actually a spin-off of Perfect Strangers. 16 comments

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