| 2002-05-03 00:36:19 ET |
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drunk .....very......drunk....played the "wax intellectual" game with my friends again...then we shrank each others heads....life and the meaning of the universe met up for awhile and we all rapped steady....night got over dawn arrived and people dashed for home....the night was good...lather....rinse.....repeat?...hopefully...i like a clean head...
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| rambling again 2002-05-01 22:18:54 ET |
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TUNA IN OIL
what the hell is it for...seriously...once on complete accident i was surprized to find that i had bought it instead of the chunk light in water i normally purchase...oh well short of grocceries and being male of the non cooking ability stock i had to use it...for being one of the three things i can make is stuffing tuna in assorted pasta...and flavoring it....
so click click with the can opener then...out comes the most oilly disgusting substance to ever touch my hands...it seriously clung to my hands...what the hell...and that was just the over flow from when the top fell into the canister...i had to get tuna minus oil into pasta...how...drain it...like i do with tuna in water...just be extra careful...wrong choice...you see the oil in tuna in oil (brand does not matter) when reaching oxygen IMMEDATELY searchs out flesh and sticks to it...in less than half a minute my hand was covered in oil and bits of tuna...it didn't drip off...it syrupped of...i finally knew what it ment when my mom used the word dollup...when the oil finelly gets heavy enough that is the sound it makes as it drips heavily off the flesh it has enwrapped...
i freak...MUST GET IT OFF...turn on water....to late the tuna oil has some how bonded around my hand...it feels like water running over an oilly glove...only the glove is my hands...ACK!! ...brillo pad and lots of dawn...i have clean hands...and no tuna...
so...what exactly...is tuna in oil used for...and how are you suppose to handle it properly...
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| 2002-05-01 16:44:26 ET |
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yeah....i guess thats fair...
*yawns*
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| my problem 2002-05-01 04:09:52 ET |
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"look mommy there's an airplane up in the sky..."
On trying to go insane,
i had a bright idea once, the idea came to me after using an illict substance called LSD, (i don't advocate doing this substance to anyone...if you need approval to do it don't)....the idea was that i was going to make myself go insane, i wanted to become oh i don't know...schitziaphrenic or maybe manic or ...oh i don't know something along those lines... i decided that everytime i came down i was going to sleep then dose... i told my supplier about this plan, i told him that i needed him to check on me every couple of days to see if i needed anymore... i did it every couple of days for over 3 months... over 200 hits, i know, i kept track... i failed, i did not go insane... i have achieved some incredible flash backs and have shattered my views of reality into a million piece's, true. I have splintered my mind, i see things that aren't there, hear voice's sometimes ( the most notable just said one word "remington" whatever that means) i spent near constant my cash flow trying to become crazy...and it didn't happen...
what was i looking for... enlightenment... i thought the key to enlightenment was held in insanity ... its not there... i've chased my own personal dragons through mary jane, DMT, Yage, Iawusca, (if you don't know what those are go read some burrows, like about when he was in south america)... salivia divinorum... ( the wombat weed i call it, more south american jungle medicine men drugs)...i joined the OTO ( started by aliester crowley) to get my hands on there supply of psychedelics, if its a hallucinagen i've ingested it... did it awaken something with in me, yes. Am i an enlightened human being, no... i've flown through the occult and all its gibberish, mainly only being impressed with voodun and santeria...researched the templars, the rosicians, the hospitalers...studied hindu, buddism, the tao....where does it all lead...
i have no idea... its all just pathways and alleys, there is no end in site, no cheese at the end of the maze, no glowing white light..no prize for having the most token...the only satori (moments of enlightenment) i have ever had have come completely randomly...in those moments all i realize is that the world is absolutely perfect the way it is...
where do i go next?
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| boredom 2002-04-30 04:03:33 ET |
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i smoke tea, thats better slang than weed, weed is what phish fans smoke...not me...i smoke tea...i smoke tea and i'm an art cop, i smoke tea, i'm an art cop, and a make pretty picture's to stare at....thats all i am, oh yeah and a member of mensa though i haven't been to a meeting EVER...hmm...why am i all of these things, why am i not oh...black, and 60 year old, and living in the bayou, or a member of the french intellectual class, or...or you...why am i not you, what separates me into me....
why did i have to be me, what is me, if i stop smoking tea, am i still me, (ofcourse, i used to never touch the stuff), if i wasn't an art cop would i still be me, (i'm sure i would be), if i didn't make picture's that people liked to look at would i be me (its debatable if people even like to look at them)...if i was dumb would i still be me....
what is the real me, behind it all, the me the ego, the id what is it...when i hear my own voice in my own head, who is talking, is that who i am....when i'm sleeping and i'm other people...who am i then...are the hands that are typing this out to you all, are they ME, or mine, are my legs me, or mine, my eye's my back my spinal column my brain, are all mine....belonging to ME....
huh....i am a collection of observations, memorys, these observations mold me into who i am...i am nothing more than the sum of a set of variables, i have a beginning and an end, yet the set of variables i am apart of is infinite...infinte (want to see the infinate turn your web cam around to face your computer, then turn it on, why does it bend)...these observations are tainted, by the organs that accept there stimolous of the world outside of them,
the relvation that lead to the discovery of quantum mechanics was named the wavictle, upon measuring a certain element with one set of tools it behaved like a wave, (the tools where designed to measure waves), with another set the same element behaved like a particle (with tools you guessed it made to measure particles)...so what is it...a wave (like light) or a particle (like what atoms make), well the shock came when they tried it on already assume elements...the same affect...waves and particles are the same thing....try it this way..what is glass a solid or a liquid...wrong its a liquid it just moves so slow we can not observe the motion....but go to an old house and look at the windows, they where once as straight and perfect as a new window...now there bent...
so i look at myself the same way...i am only defined by what is measuring me....to each and every person i am something completely different...
just a thought...
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