fuck2008-05-08 07:15:49 ET

I'm just going to get straight to it.

Yesterday my dog bit someone.
It wasent bad, she didnt even go to the hospital.
I checked on her to make sure she was ok.
Apparently the whole neighborhood wants my dog gone.
Jason's mom said that they have never had an animal without someone complaining about it. And you know whats sad about this, 90% + of the people on this street is her family one way or another.
A Sheriff came by last night and got my name, DOB, and telephone number. He just said " You need to keep him on a leash or he is going to end up costing you alot of money."
In any case, I'm still expecting animal control to show up.
I'm expecting to hear what I dont want to hear.
And it hurts.
and its my fault, and I know its my fault.
He should've been on a chain. I pretty much have killed my own pet in this situation.
I dont want to lose my dog. He's the one stable thing I have here.
My dog is like my child. That is how I love him and treat him.
Fuck!, man.
I'm good at this fucking up deal.
I am my own worst enemy.
My own crusher of my happiness.

Almost everyone on this street let their dogs run. All of those dogs have just as much of a chance of biting someone as mine did. No matter what the dogs personality, they still are animals and can still snap at any minute.
I lose my dog, everyone better be putting thier dogs on chains an leashes.

I feel helpless. and it fuckin sucks.
I dont need comments or remarks.
Its my fault.
I fucked up.
and I know it.

Allergies...2008-04-23 03:01:31 ET

have been kickin my ass the past few days. Stuffed up, then right side unclogs and its like someone just turned on a water facet, then it clogs up then the left side decides to drain, and then it will be clogged up for a few hours then repeat. And now I have a cough to go with it. My allergies always turn out to be something more. When I 1st moved here I found out I had really bad allergies here due to a sinus infection, my allergies had gotten that bad. I'm starting to think thats what I got this time around. Oh well, I'm about to go pick up some claratin it seems to do the trick allergy wise.

My dad will either be down tonight or tomorrow. We told his sister for her and her husband to get their stuff out of the trailer, because it has to be completely bare for him to work on it. They came and got a set of bunk beds, pretty much told us they didnt want the rest and it was up to us to get rid of the stuff. Which is fine, whatever. But why didnt you tell us this like 3 months ago when we had a truck to haul it all off!!? But its fine. For now we are going to have to move it all outside, until this weekend when we can get a truck and haul it all off to the dump.

Only a few more days of classes left and then we start exams. I have an Anthropology project and some english.

I just can't wait to be done for the summer.

Yay!!!!2008-04-22 04:47:25 ET

my dad, my cousin and his wife, and maybe 2 of my dads friend are heading down here tomorrow to help with the trailer. They are going to be here for 4-5 days. They said they want to get us in it. My dad wants to help us get on our feet. We've just been stuck in a rut for the past year. But I'm having faith in everything. Being positive. It will all work out.

Our car is fixed, it even runs better!

On a crappy note: Allergies are kickin my ass. I think I'm starting a sinus infection from it. and Aunt Flo is in town. Which was actually more of a blessing than a curse this time around.

But other than that things are starting to look pretty good.
We got a car, about to get in our OWN place. Its wonderful!

MIA....2008-04-19 13:06:41 ET

How can it be said that you and the rest of the family didnt care that someone was potentally missing when no one called to tell you they were missing in the 1st place??
Our nephew's wife can be so brainless at times and horribly lacking in common sense.
What am I talking about. Let me explain.
Jason and I were at a friends house last night, we left there to get some chinese because our tummies were rumbling for food. So while we are sitting there waiting for a food to be ready we get a phone call. Its Jasons sister, Sherry, she tells us that Richard, the nephew, called our house and said that they(him and Ben, his friend)were out on the river they got lost and ran out of gas. We are told that he said for us to go to Ben's house and tell the wives that they are ok, they ran out of gas and for them to take Powell road and they are at a Kangaroo station, they would know what we were talking out. So we grab our food and head close to G-town to Ben's house. When we get there, there are no vehicles, I knock on the door, no answer. I open the door peak my head in and yell HELLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! a couple of times, nothing. So we ride back to Richards house hoping that Kristin ( his wife) and Jennifer ( ben's wife) was there. They were not so we just figured they guys got ahold of them and they were headed to get them so we went home. The phone call was at quarter til midnight by the way. So while at home the phone rings, Jason's mom gets it and it's his other sister, Regina ( Richard's mom), she said that Kristin and Jenn dropped the baby off and they were going to get the guys.
Well at this time, not known to us, Kristin, Jenn, our friends Tracey and Harry, the US Coast Gaurd, DNR, and the sheriff is at the boat landing looking for them because to them they are missing. Richard nor Ben could reach their wives at either house because they were at the landing the entire time. Now let me tell you, I also called Kristins on the way to find them the 1st time, no answer and they dont have an answering machine.
So since the phone call from Gina we figure they are go to go, so I go to bed and Jason stays up til 4am. Also, take into consideration that at this time, Kristin as not tried to call our house once, where Richards Grandmother , Trisha, and his uncle, Jason, live to let them know that they guys were missing. At 6am Trisha wakes us up. Richard has called, no one picked them up last night and they had to sleep along side the road. They tried to get ahold of their wives at home again, but they were not there, they were still at the landing. So instead of trying to find the women again, I call Richard back and get the info on where they are at, JAson and I go to pick them up so we know that they are home this time. They were like 30 minutes plus away from us. On the way there we call the house to make sure we are headed the right way, Trish proceeds to tell us that Kristin had called about them being missing, and she let her know that we were headed to pick them up. Ok heres another thing to think on.. they were reported missing at 10pm.....she did not call here until 6:30am.
We get them, on the way back to the boat landing Kristin calls my cell to talk to Richard. We get back to the landing, and they let the Coast Guard, DNR and Sheriff that they are ok. Kristin and Jennifer pull in, and before they even get parked you can see the madness on their faces. JAson and I leave because we wanted no part of the bickering and yelling.
Now later in the day, I'm checking my myspace, she has posted a blog. she says in there...
""But I am just so disgusted and fed up with the way Richards family are so ignorant and inconsiderate about things. No one seemed overly worried that Jennifer and I was sitting at the landing waiting on our Husband to be found, praying that they wouldn't be brought out in body bags. You see our major worry was that with the 2 foot seas in the small boat that they were in it most likely capsized. No seemed to really care that Richard and Ben were sleeping on the side of the road under a tree somewhere or about the people out on the water that was searching all night. Now Richard doesn't understand how I can be mad because his family cant seem to get even the simplest things done right, but Richard didn't spend the night seriously considering the fact that you could be a widow or that there were two small kids that are going to be depending on you and you alone for the next 18 years.""

This is how all of that could've been solved.
1) one of the wives stay at one of their houses so that way incase anyone called, with any information, they were there to recieve it.
2) have CONSIDERATION to call his grandmother and uncle

I'm not mad, I understand that it was alot of miscommunication on ALL ends. But she needs to realize this as well.
People need to be informed of something like this to care about it.
If I'm wrong, let me know.

Spontaneous Human Combustion2008-04-16 12:02:21 ET

School is almost done with. Right now I'm working on a Genealogy project for Anthropology and a final paper for English. It will be nice when its all done. April 30th is my last day. Wow, I just looked at my calender and realized that it is over REALLY soon. I wont go back until the Fall Semester.

Our car is currently out of order. A friend of Jason's is working on re-threading a piece in the carborater since who ever worked on it before over lapped the threading when they changed the fuel filter. This caused us to have a fuel leak, in less than a week we put over $100 in the tank. Oh well, I just cant wait until its fixed. Sharing one vehicle between 3 people sucks major ass.

My birthday is in less than a month. I'll be 23. I have been thinking alot about my life, where I was , where I am, .......who am I? And its just so hard to step back and take a look at things when you have no room to take the step back. So.. I'm going to be going to MD, just me. no Jason. I need the time with some family and friends and some me time, I need to think and I need to be away from here to do so. I will be staying with my bestest friend, Krystal at her apartment with her roommate, which is my ex-boyfriend, AJ. But no worries, we are all friends so whatever. He works most of the time and wont be there other than the weekends anyway. But yes, going back home is what I need right now.

I've also been reading up on shrooms. I've never done them, but have always wanted to. So I'm reading up on experiences, good and bad. I'm thinking about growing my own, but who knows.

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